My girlfriend and I have recently begun having sex. She was very tight to begin with, so we've spent lots of time on foreplay / fingering to make sure she's used to something in her. We went to have her get a pap smear and the doctor was unable to perform it, stating that there was a flap of skin inside her vaginal opening that was preventing her from putting the speculum in her. Sex is VERY painful for her right now and the doctor only said to keep trying and eventually the skin will loosen up. Can anybody help point us in the right direction to help make it more enjoyable for her?
Wed, 11/17/2004 - 00:40
#1
Painful Intercourse for gf
that sounds exactly like the problem me and my gf have...exept we cant even have intercourse because of the tightness\pain
its like going in with a finger it reeealy hurts then its ok once its in, but pulling it out is really horrible for her
I cant get more than one finger inside
i told her that im willing to wait untill whenever shes ready, because right now, shes kinda put off by any of those ideas because of the pain
I guess i gotta wait untill shes ready
the doctor was not very helpful, and just suggested KY jelly, which didnt help lol
so my suggestion is to just leave it for a bit, and hope that she will ask to work on it some more. my gf said she dosent want to because it hurts so much, but im willing to wait for her.
but hey, you can have plenty of fun with the clitoris and it still makes her feel really nice!
strange, I just can't imagine.
Well I can understand why she wouldn't want to have sex. I would think the DR could have given her a little better advice than "it would eventually loosen up".
To me that sounds like she must continue to have painful sex. That would warp my mind to sex all together.
Kinda sounded like my doctor.
Besides all the stupid moral lectures he decided he wanted to give me, the only sex related stuff when it came to me having pain during sex was it will eventually loosen up.
I mean, I understand that's how it goes and that is the truth. It will take time to get used to it.
But when you have pain time after time, and there's nothing wrong down there (well in her case there's a piece of skin, in my case, I'm just tight), it kinda turns you off from wanting to try it again because you know you're going to have pain again and no one likes pain.
It WAS extremely painful for her! I've tried inserting two fingers into her, and she said that going in it hurt really bad, and coming out she wanted to scream! I feel so bad for her and just don't know what to do except accept that she doesn't want to have sex and hope that someday we can work on loosening her up some more.
My girlfriend DOES use tampons, however, she generally uses slim fits. By flap of skin...hmm, lemme see, well, it sorta looks like the picture of the hymen here... Hymen however, the doctor said she didn't have an intact hymen. At the moment, my gf doesn't want to continue having sex. I believe the whole idea of her loss of virginity was a bit too much for her. For now, I guess it's not a problem. However, if you have any other ideas, i'd appreciate hearing them!
Many developmental problems can beset a girl's sex parts as they generally only become important once she is considering getting married. For boys their sex is out there in plain view
and a circumcision is all that is considered most of the time.
I had a G/F who had a double inner lip on one side. She hadn't realized it until she became sexual but wouldn't speak to her folks about it. She always kept KY jelly around and lubed well, but couldn't f*** for more than about six or seven minutes. The one inner lip would bend under and chafe with the friction.(besides KY just isn't that great, but I didn't know about lubes like astroglide then)
I asked her if she would ever consider corrective measures in hopes of overcoming the problem. She just told me she was hoping to find a guy with a good job who's insurance would
cover it once married to him. She didn't make much money on her job as a social worker in the little rural county where she lived. Asking her dad was out of the question for several reasons.
We drifted away from each other in time and I wonder if she ever found the guy with the good job, money, and insurance.
She seemed to think if he wanted her and good sex with her....that he could marry her and go the cost of getting her fixed up. It wasn't that high an item on her list for her to address.
I still have the memory of her wanting to have wild passionate sex, and having to cool it about as soon as we started or she would be in great pain with swollen red parts.
eDJ
hmm then what was it? was there not a more medical term than just "flap of skin"?
Does your g/f use tampons? that could help over a period of time.
The doctor we went to reported that it wasn't her hymen. However, I'm slightly skeptical, it never hurts for a second opinion. I'll have to look into taking her to another doctor / gynecologist for further evaulation. Any other suggestions?
Well I can only guess that it was her hymen. Im surprised the DR didn't do something about it. Brandye suggests that sometimes they'll knick it w/ a scapel or something like that. That way its a clean tear.
Its not going to be enjoyable till her hymen tears. As some girls have said on here, they have hymens of steel and it takes a lot to tear them. When it does, it will be painful.