That's not normal, and it is not likely to go away with sex. In fact, it'll probably hurt more.

How do you finger yourself? Are you usually wet/ aroused? If you're too dry down there, then it'll likely be painful. If you think dryness is tha cause, have you tried (or considered trying) a lube, such as KY or AstroGlide?

Is your hymen intact? If so, you are probably bumping up against it and that is the cause of your discomfort.

[QUOTE=Punkyfish;153600]Thanks for replying..

Yes i am wet if i do try to finger myself, even then i still find it hard to get anything in..usually i'll just put one finger in and have to take it out straight away as its too painful..

Yes, i think my hymen is intact...its wierd..basically my vagina is divided into two, one main hole and then another smaller one to the right of it, i presume that is my hymen thats dividing it?[/QUOTE]

That sounds like the problem. This is the primary thing that causes first time intercourse to be painful as well.

Continued fingering of yourself will, over time, make the hole(s) bigger and/or perforate the hymen. Alternatively, you can use a dildo or some other object to go ahead and push through it and get it over with. I did this with mine (way back when) so my first sex would not be painful. I've written about that experience - if you want to read that, PM me and I'll give you the link.

Hymens come in different forms and hole patterns. Some have no internal openings while others may have one or more in different sizes. From your description it sounds like you have one that partially obstructs the passageway and includes an opening in it.

An important reason (among several that I have detailed) for using the Woman Superior position for first intercourse is because the woman can position the tip (Meatus) of the penis where she wants to. In your situation, rather than against the opening in the hymen, you might try along side it.

Caitlain's suggestion is a good one and common solution. I recommend a stretching exercise that you can do over several sessions. Whether you use her method or the one I just described, stretching the hymen (and the vaginal opening, also) should make the process easier.

The exercise consists of taking a once or twice daily soak in the bathtub, preferably, although a shower will work. If using a tub, partially fill it with clear warm water (no soaps or bubble bath, etc.) The water will soften the tissues. The actual exercise consists of inserting a finger and pulling against either the vaginal opening and/or the hymen (separately) in each of four directions. With each hold the tension for several seconds before moving to the next quadrant. Doing this over several days should get you to the point where two fingers can be inserted. When you can do this, use two in opposition. They can be on the same hand or one from each.

Stretching the hymen won't prevent the possibility of discomfort, however, it should make tearing it or getting past it easier.