I'm 26 and have had sex several times with my husband and every time we do it, it's painful when he enters me and goes slow. After he gets it in and goes fast for a few seconds, it feels better. I was wondering if this is normal when you haven't had sex in months or weeks? If we did it more often, would this pain when he enters stop? Please help cause I want to have more sex but its the anticipating pain that starts it off that makes me not want to do it as often.
Sun, 04/17/2011 - 03:33
#1
pain when he enters me
Too many unknowns.
Are you guys doing sufficient foreplay? Is he bringing you off before sex and is he making sure you are completely wet?
Were you a virgin when you first got married? Or have you had previous partners, and this is has always occured?
Have you paid a visit to your gyn?
From the sounds of things, you are not sufficiently wet enough when first initiating sex the vulva (outer lips) are not sufficiently wet, and therefore it is skin on skin without any lube. This normally happens to me and my partner if I'm not manually and orally pleasing her, and I try to go too quickly.
But again if you can answer those question, I'm sure the other members would be able to give you some better advice.
He is my first and only lover and I'm the same for him. Usually he gives me a couple orgasms before we start intercourse with clit stimulation so that usually makes me wet. Maybe not wet enough, but how do you know if you're wet enough? We had sex a couple times before we got married and I thought the pain was normal because it was the first time and my hymen hadn't been broken yet. But..it's been a year and it's the same way every time. We don't have sex that often because I don't like it yet completely because it's so uncomfortable when he enters me. I put ky lube on him before hand but it still hurts until he really gets going and then it's not too bad. If we had sex more often, would that solve the problem?
[COLOR="Purple">Hun, i had that problem for a while too with my husband. I found that when we had sex more often and started with oral sex on each other, or even pleasuring myself first in front of him as kind of a turn on tease, i would get wet and be able to have sex easier. As you were a virgin, it will take a while for you to get used to sex. More lube, and more foreplay is needed. Also, try not thinking of it being painful. This is making you tense and sex will be painful then...[/COLOR]
Can you describe the pain?
And have you been to a gyn? Normally you should go when you first have sex or when you first turn 18 (a pap smear every year). I would go schedule an appointment and get everything checked. Talk to your doctor. Worst case you "waste" money and the doctor clears you and gives you the ok for sex. Best case scenario you find the root of the problem and get everything fixed up.
Yes i would go to your doctor and get checked out,especially if the pain has been going on for more than a year.As Ducy said there could be lots of reasons for this,and your doctor will be able to examine you and rule out any medical issues you may have.It could be just lack of foreplay or not enough lube,but better off to be safe than sorry.
Due to the lack of experience, I'm assuming that you haven't spoken with a gyn regarding these things previously. Please go through all of the stickies as well as schedule an appointment if you haven't yet. Regardless of the how bad the pain is or even if it has gone away, it's just good health practice to have the regular checkups.
The problem could have many different and multiple causes that add up. Nervousness and tension will make penetration more difficult even if you have orgasmed prior to the act. Pay particular attention to EEK's "The Program" sticky for resolutions to this. After and during oral, try a gentle massage inside with a finger and then another to help you relax and pay particular attention to the anterior wall.
Remember to proceed slowly and focus on enjoying each aspect.
I know my current partner and I hadn't had sex in about 2 months. She said she felt like she lost her virginity all over again (she was sore and it hurt for a second when I first entered).
I have heard of girls hymens not "properly breaking" and it had caused continuous pain. It doesn't sound like what's going on with you, but again schedule an appointment with your gyn.
In addition to what everyone else has said:
You may want to grab a mirror and see for yourself what it looks like down there. It makes it easier for you to identify what may be causing pain. Like: what does the entrance look like? Is it red and swollen? Does it hurt when you touch? Is the pain more like that of a graze or more like a bruise? By self-examining you may also check on things such as tension. Can you insert a finger or two? Can you relax the muscles or do you feel them grabbing your finger? Does it make penetration painful? Grabbing that mirror is also something you may want to do when you feel healthy; it gives you an even better insight. It establishes a bond with parts of your body people so many times tend to ignore. Why ignore? It's part of you, so get to know it! :)
Last but not least; it makes it easier for your physician, if you can pinpoint the place where the pain and discomfort occurs.
Well I go the gyn every year and shes does pap smears and she's never told me anything was wrong. I haven't actually mentioned that sex is still painful at first. I mentioned it once on like my second or third visit and she told me my hymen was broken and still healing. Maybe I'm using the wrong kind of lube or not enough of it. Whats the best kind to use thats not sticky feeling and makes him go in easy? I was reading about those applicators to put the lube in me. Do those come with certain lubes or are they in a seperate box? I've never tried putting it in myself. I usually squeeze some on his penis and rub it around. He always complains the stuff is cold but I tried that warming kind and it makes me feel like its burning during sex so i stopped using that kind. I dont know if this is a factor but I've been on Loestrin24Fe birth control pills ever since before I started having sex. Could they be making me not wet enough?
I have endometriosis and it causes sex to be painful at times but not everytime, they put me on seasonique birthcontrol pills and they have dramaticly lowered my sex drive which makes it harder for me to get wet and harder to orgasm. You should go to the Dr and ask.
LOTS of LUBRICANT, silly - and massive lashings of foreplay and body worship - to the extent that YOU are jumping HIS bones. Please see the posts entitled "the Program" and "Body Worship - How To" found elsewhere in this forum.
Stop thinking "timid bunny" and think more along the lines of "tigers on vaseline".
"This mellow-thighed chick just put my spine out of place!"
Lol EEK...those comparisons make me laugh...I pictured a cowering bunny and then a tiger covered in vaseline....
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;267536]LOTS of LUBRICANT, silly - and massive lashings of foreplay and body worship - to the extent that YOU are jumping HIS bones. Please see the posts entitled "the Program" and "Body Worship - How To" found elsewhere in this forum.
Stop thinking "timid bunny" and think more along the lines of "tigers on vaseline".
"This mellow-thighed chick just put my spine out of place!"[/QUOTE]
LOL *drools:D
Where is this EEK the program located? I looked at the stickys for this forum and I dont see it listed.
They're stickies at the top of the Married & Long Term Relationships forum
It's listed under Married & Long Term as a sticky.
Also, look in the Index, found at the top of the main screen, under her section.
The Index contains helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about.