Sex and the Media

[Guitar Guy]

This is something that I've thought about for a long time. I've studied various things about how the media works in a few university courses and have come to a few personal opinions that I'd like to share with everyone and have them join in.

I've been with my gf now for 2.5 years and we love each other more than ever. We started having sex earlier this year after a discussing the issue multiple times with each other.

Unfortunately now in the media (mostly television and music) there is so much sex that teens and young adults (I'll include myself in that category even though I'm 21) are so bombarded with various messages, that they get distorted and don't think about what sex really means and what could happen. If only the media would turn the message around and promote safe sex, maybe would they think logically?

Sex to me is supposed to be with someone you've been with for a long time and care for. Then you discuss sex with your partner to find out if they are ready and then when your ready you prepare with birth control methods and experiment. I just don't feel that the media do their job and promote safe sex enough. Listen to any rap "song" (it's not even that) and it's mostly about rape or making the female feel used. At least in most rock songs there's equality for both men and women.

We live in an age now where you have to take anything from the media with a grain of salt. Even on tv, sex is seen as something that's done randomly. Take for instance Seinfeld. One episode that shows about safe sex, is the episode where George has a scare because of a "defective" condom. In tv, they can write about various sex escapades but to me that's how we the viewer get mixed messages about sex. If some characters having sex with multiple people, then why can't I? It's all in what you value in a relationship.

As well, I find that watching pornography distorts what the experience is really like. Sure it's not scripted but there is no way that some of this stuff can happen to the "average" (pardon the pun) couple. Pornography is another way to distort how sex happens with each couple. No way am I going to ejaculate a huge load of semen every time (nor would I want too), and trying to act out like a porn star will just make the experience more frustrating because well your not them. I always think about enjoying my experiences with my gf because they are something we make together and are not influenced by porn stars who've had work done on their bodies and embellish the act of sex. It's about loving who your with.

I value my gf with my life and love her dearly. We took the precautions for our first time by talking it out, getting bc and using condoms. Why can't that be enforced if you feel the need to have sex? It's better than ending up pregnant and becoming a parent at a young age. My cousin who's a month younger than me, became a father 2 years ago. He married the girl he had the baby with, and he's working solidly. He took responsibility. That's one issue that must be reinforced. If your not responsible for what could happen, then wait to have sex until your ready.

[Rouge]

I do tip my hat to your traditional approach, as there are many things to be learned from tradition, but this all depends upon the individual/couple.

For example:

My partner and I often rival what is found in a lot of pornography. We don't aim to, we simply have fun. This being said, we do watch porn together and individually, but our sex life has been this way from day 1. There isn't a distortion, merley different interpretations. We pick up new positions, ideas, and scenarios to play with while watching recreational porn.

As far as sex being with someone you've known for a long time, I believe you're confusing two terms. Sex, and making love. Sex can be with anyone, any time, for any reason. It's a filling of primal needs, even within a couple. Love making (making love, same difference) is generally described as the spiritual bonding between two partners during the act of intercourse. This doesn't have to happen every time (I myself haven't yet experienced it fully, but hope to). Sex can be dirty, sweaty, funny, energetic, downright filthy, lusty, even slow, but it isn't necessarily making love, and it's important not to get the two confused. You can have completley raunchy sex with a stranger, or as a couple and still love each other to the ends of the earth, with no reservations (and I'd encourage every couple to, it's fun!).

[EvilEvilKitten]

You are mistaken in thinking that this media exposure is something new. It isn't.

For example: previous to Reformation, marrying girls off as soon as they menstruated was how it was done and rarely was her husband her choice. But sexuality was something expected and condoned - in men. So pornography etc. abounded.

The only difference now - is that WOMEN now have the choice yeah or nay and our sexuality is now being accepted and condoned. Some pornography is being made for women too.

If you have read around this site, you will have noticed that we firmly push safe sex at every opportunity.

What you are in fact seeing is the effect of 'abstinence only' educaion in schools. Being told NO doesn't work esp for teens who are naturally rebellous as they seek to become their own person separate from their parents. But since they are told repeatedly that condoms do not work, they do not use them. BCPs are being branded as abortificants when they aren't. In the absence of factual information, it is no wonder, youngsters aren't making thoughtful decisions.

Blame the religious right, not the media.

[wet_suit_one]

Hey OP, read about Pompeii and how when it was excavated, the authorities would not let people see the art from the ancient world because it was deemed too likely to corrupt them. Only the "upper crust" of society was permitted to view it. I.e. ancient world pornography was only fit for the consumption of the rich and powerful.

There is nothing new under the sun except that it is more out in the open and exposed to view. Does the media distort things? Sure. Does everyone else distort thing too? You bet. I understand that the media twists and distorts things to make money. That's fairly obvious to figure out. What isn't clear is what is the goal or aim of right wingers or religious pooh poohers? What exactly is it that they are trying to achieve by telling me I'm going to hell for masturbating or looking at pictures of nude women or people having sex? It's not clear to me and I find it somewhat worrisome...