He has an erection, but what do I do?

[dlb]

It sounds as though your ex is a normal healthy young man. Since you have both noticed that he gets an erection in your presence, especially if their is physical contact, you can just accept it or if you feel that you must mention it you can make a light hearted comment such as - it's good to see I still have that effect on men and good to see that you are still a normal healthy man for your age; and I'm glad you have someone to take care of that for you.

[dcman1980]

I agree with many of the posts. when you hug him bed at the waist or something so you don't feel it. If you do make a joke, or ignore it. When I was younger this happened a few times. Like Brandye said, if you're still seeing this guy and he has a gf, whats going on? Take time to break away and give each other some distance.

[SadisticEuphoria]

I kind of like him, but I think its just that I want affection. I know it wouldnt work as it didnt before so Im not going to try & let anything happen, I dont want it to. The thing is, my feelings keep changing towards him alot, so a clean break would be best. His leaving the country in less than a month so after that, thats going to be it. Until then I just want to say what I think to him, so he can say 'I like you' or 'I dont like you', that way I can make a decision. My problem is not knowing where I stand, trying to process it, getting ideas & thinking I like him. But after his left, thats it.

I feel like I should say something, because when he does its just complete silence & awkward. So if I stay silent it builds on the awkwardness, but I dont want to say the wrong thing & make it worse. Theres some good suggestions =]

[dlb]

I went out to lunch with and ex girlfriend once. I got an erection just standing and talking to her. Her response: " some things never change!"

[lnt1103]

I gotta agree with Brandye on this one. Why is the concept of cheating even entering your mind if you consider it cheating? (the argument about the definition of cheating is a whole other thread that I'm not trying to address here but I bet someone or other brings up)

Either stop hugging the guy at all, or stop doing it so close. Definitely stop reacting to the reaction IF you continue interacting with him at all. If you let the subject die, it will do so.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Your need for affection? Nope! That's not it. The real reason you want him now is to compete against his gf and that is both stupid and disgusting. You want to take him away from her to prove that you can and to show that you have power over him. And you do all of this to bolster a weak ego. Be ashamed of yourself! (please note: swingers excepted)

So - IGNORE his erection. No jokes. No comments. No embarassment. Nothing. As far as you are concerned, he does not have a penis - erect or not.

BTW the presence of your ex in your life signals "stay away" to other men. They see you as clingy and 'potential psycho'. Is that what you want?

[SadisticEuphoria]

Im not trying to compete against his gf & I've said that I dont want anything to happen because if it did then my feelings would get even deeper & I dont want that. I dont want him back or anything, it didnt work before & it definately wouldnt now, but I generally like him as a person & I dont want to stop hanging out with him. We've always been friends (since 11) & I dont want the mistake of dating him & getting too attached to ruin our friendship, though I know it already has.
I know it may sound like im trying to make him like me or get him to cheat but i can honestly say thats the last thing I want. I do miss the affection, as I've said in the other thread he was my first bf so I kind of exagerated(sp?) my feelings in my head & think theyre more than what they are. So I just want the affection back, though not necessarily from him. Well, It cant be from him anyway, but I attached the feelings of affection & first time of actually being wanted, to him & thats why I like him. I dont think its HIM that I want, well it isn't really.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Seriously, you NEED to go out and get yourself someone new and entirely different than he is. And while you're at it, get tow or three - you seem to get attached all too easily when it is just one-on-one.

[nuttychick]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Seriously, you NEED to go out and get yourself someone new and entirely different than he is. And while you're at it, get tow or three - you seem to get attached all too easily when it is just one-on-one.

Great advice
the more she types replies, the more she is seeming (to me atleast ) to be getting confused of her feelings for him

[SadisticEuphoria]

I do keep changing my mind about it. I know what I should do (stay far away) but I dont want to & It's too difficult, I've tried before. If I get someone new then I know my feelings for him would stop or at least be significantly brought down. I never ever had closure or a chance to say what I needed to him & the way he acts, things he says makes me think theres a chance again which makes me life him, just as soon as i've gotten over him. Then it starts again.

I know I need to move on & find someone else. Its just difficult as im shy & dont know anyone. Meeting new people, would be the obvious choice. I dont think im a very approachable person though & I think people get the wrong idea from me, people say I'm really pretty & I get looked at in the street (no one my age, all over mid 20's & the sleazy kind). So Im giving off the wrong impression & I dont really know how to change it.