Reading Someone

[Mr. Saint]

So normally I am pretty good at reading people, but I am having some trouble. There is this woman that I work with in a school club (She is the President and she just promoted me to V.P.) and we also have a class together. We hang out sometimes as friends as well and go see shows in the city and stuff. Anyways, she is from Costa Rica and just moved here a couple years ago. She does a lot of stuff that normally I would consider to be very flirtatious. Such as, every time I see her she gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, when we sit down some where (even in class and club meetings) she puts her hand on my thigh and leaves it there, when she entire the room she always engages me first even if I am talking with some one and there are other friends of hers in the class, she compliments me a lot and other things. I am having trouble figuring out if she is just being affectionate because she is from a different culture or does she have a thing for me. Also if it matters she is one of the hottest women I have ever seen, the kind of girl that could have any guy. I am sure I am overlooking some details but they will come out later as always.

[dancingdoc2]

This very well may be a cultural behavior, just like in some countries men greet each other with a peck on each cheek. If curious, why not ask what some of her cultural acts are and then ask if this is one of them.

It may just be that she is a demonstrative and gregarious individual. I had an aunt who always walked up and hugged me with a cheek to cheek greeting. As a shy teenager this unnerved me and it was only years later that such actions stopped bothering me.

Personally, to this day I would be uncomfortable with a hand on my thigh from someone I new only casually. That is a bit forward, yet is this me or our cultural uniqueness?

Does she have a thing for you? Dunno, you are there and none of us are. You can use Implied Consent and up the ante and see if she follows along, or, you can ask. Personally, I'd ask her out for coffee, lunch/dinner, or whatever you feel comfortable with like a movie and see how she responds. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If she is not interested in you that way, she will say something and a turn down is not something to become upset over.

[Ducy]

This may sound idiotic, but next time you are out, you can grab her hand (works especially well if she says Im cold or something) and if she gets uncomfortable you simply say my mistake, I thought your hands may be a bit cold.

Juvenile i know but just dumb enough to be believable lol.

But if she doesnt say anything, or starts walking closer, then you know that you are more than likely seen as "more than a friend" to her.

The beautiful thing about other cultures is that they are NOT American. We americans are so shallow its pathetic, and I seem to notice many people from other cultures are beautiful, and have totally unnatractive significant others. So they really are raised right!

[Mr. Saint]

I knew I would forget something; I am currently dating two girls openly. So I am not really looking to date her. Also she is a few years older then me but does not know.

[sera300]

I would say it's part cultural; the warm & affectionate part. Women often make it known they are interested & engage men in conversation; especially outside the US.

Keeping her hand on your lap? Well, that is a flirtatious move in any culture!

So date three!

[Ducy]

Why is it that your not interested in dating her?

[Mr. Saint]

Keeping two women satisfied is enough work as it is, add in 18 unites a semester, I just don’t have the energy. Every weekend they both want to go out and do something. I don’t think I can carry a relationship with three people at the same time. Also this women is like 4 years older then me, which I don’t have a huge problem with, but it is still a little wired.

[Ducy]

Oic. Well you dont always have to do something with both girls every weekend lol. You can always say look. I am swamped with school totally exhausted...sleepy time now! lol

[Mr. Saint]

That’s my excuse during the week. One of them is a drama major and the other is a Communications major. They are always telling me how I work way too much; they don’t understand the work load of an engineering major. Anyways I like going out with them, I am happy with two girls for now. Maybe some other time I will date this woman but not right now.

[Ducy]

Lol well saint if you ever get too overwhelmed I will gladly come up to North Cali and help you out!