no sex drive

[emilythecat]

Hi all! I'm new to this site, and this is my first post.

I joined because i thought that maybe i could get some expert advice.

I have been with my boyfriend on and off for 3 years. I love him to death, and i am very happy with him.

The only problem is that for the past couple of months, i have had absolutely no sex drive. I never feel like it, and i have a hard time getting into it.

I feel bad, because i want to please him and make him happy, but i am never up to it.

is there anything i can do to feel differently?

[dancingdoc2]

Please answer these additional questions?

* Is everything OK between you two?
* Has anything changed in your life?
* Are you on BC pills and if so, which one? How long?
* When did you notice the change? What happened about that time if anything?

[CleverName]

Birth control pills can affect your sex drive? Didn't know that, I guess it makes sense. I am assuming you mean they could be the cause of her low sex drive since you asked if she is taking them, so correct me if I assumed incorrectly, haha.

[lnt1103]

Never occurred to me either, but it makes sense, as BCPs deliver hormones. The changing levels could affect the drive. But I also agree with Doc about if there are relationship issues it could be causing this. Or underlying performance anxiety. Or if you're suddenly really busy lately and just tired.

Another question-are you not up to ANYTHING, or just not up to LEADING? If the latter, try giving him the reins for a night or two.

In the end, communication is key-have a chat with him about it.

[emilythecat]

I started my birth control about 5 months ago.

my sex drive went down the drain about 3 months ago. it just seems like lately it's gotten worse.

our relationship is very healthy. we both have friends and our own lives, but we have our time together, too.

[moderatorIII]

Brandye and Sera300,

Are there pill brands or types that are known not to squelch a woman's sex drive, or, is this trial and error on each individual case?

If there are known types, will one of you list them? I think this would be very helpful.

[sera300]

Brandye can answer best since she prescribes most often & does Gyn. I will only refer to a GYN since they need to have a full exam, or refill if the patient has been on the same pill & needs to return to the Gyn, or prescribe for emergency contraception purposes.

I have not found "a one pill suits all well". To exemplify; YAZ was supposed to be the "fix" [according to the manufacturer] and it still had side effects for many women with decreasing libido. Some women do well with synthetic Estrogen & Progesterone based & some other women do not. I have noticed has to do with your age & natural hormone levels for the age. Much has to do with the Sex Binding Hormone and the pill. typically new users to the pill will experience the initial symptoms but they should reside--if not consider a change or a change in BC.

Estrogen is a precursor for Testosterone which is essential for the libido. "Progestin only" birth control pills will help some yet other women have difficulty with them since there is no estrogen base. Meanwhile some of these women may complain more about weight gain and headaches. Each has risks.

Trial and error is really the most common way to try working with your doctor. 2-3 months of a pill should be a indicator for the OB/Gyn and the patient has to tell the doc what works and does not. I would also discuss the Nuvaring with your MD since its a low dose. I can put up a list of about 20 and promise many have had difficulty with a certain pill while it worked for others without ANY difficulty.

This is also where some info is missing...how old is the patient? Was okay for the first two months on them? Now not? Ever taken BCP's before? Willing to assume a pregnancy risk [is it a big deal or not]? Which pill is she on? Is there any weight gain? Any depression since beginning the pill?

The answers to these questions can vary as far as what is prescribed; moreover, I would be on the phone with the doctor or nurse if this has been for only three months while the first two were okay---or in the office for an appointment. Some do better with lower doses of components in the pill, or removing the primary synthetic estrogen [a progestin based pill], or switching to phasic pills.

[CleverName]

So are some pills less effective then others then? (signifigantly?) If so, what are a few of the lesser effective ones?

[sera300]

Originally Posted by CleverName

So are some pills less effective then others then? (signifigantly?) If so, what are a few of the lesser effective ones?

I would not say less effective; I would say less room for error. Obviously, the stronger the pill the longer it will stay in your bloodstream. To exemplify; years back they were very strong, MANY years ago, if your timing was off on taking them it was fine. However, women had severe headaches from them and other side effects which were greater than current users are experiencing. Presently, the strengths have reduced and the recommendation is take at the same time daily, always. Of some controversy to some was; the efficacy [or potential for increased failure rates] was the "mini pill"--higher pregnancy rates reported, much has to do also with the study v. real life usage. A higher dose is not always a good pill either. A patients medical history has much to do with why a certain type of pill is chosen.

The majority of OB/GYN's use the same few pills. All BCPS have a failure rate and BCP's if used properly are consistent across the board ; Ortho., YAZ, etc. There are a whole host of them, a list which appears near endless. Now does every pharmacy carry everyone? No. Do practitioners have a preference? Yes for a few reasons; which do they see less problems reported, which they have lots of samples of, which are most affordable to the patient, or which are on formulary.

The effects of the different pills will vary among users; some may give women weight gain, irritability, anxiety, loss of sex drive, headaches, nausea, blurred vision, etc. And as you get older women or are breast feeding need to be candid in talking to a doctor about changing pills and what to expect. If I was very concerned about NOT getting pregnant and using the pill alone; I would not use the "minipill"--my personal observations alone on this. There was I time I was petrified of getting pregnant when younger 14-19, wanted reliable BCP's and even through parts of my "older life" while single. When you get older & have the onset of menopausal symptoms and still have years of fertility to follow; again a change is warranted to stop a potential pregnancy and to ease some of the symptoms of entering the "change of life" since your hormones are changing and there are associated risks with pregnancy. When these symptoms become worse you are moved to Hormone Replacement Therapy [HRT] that helps with the symptoms and if taken according to the doctor of Progest. 30 days v. 12 days [in combination with Estratest], it is effective as BC as well.

I would not worry since the pills marketed are reliable if taken as directed. I have also seen some GYN's insist the use of brand names, no substitutes, to treat specific problems a patient is experiencing on BCP's. Overall, BCP's are as effective as the labeling in clinical studies, in life use the failure rates are slightly higher. What is the variable? Skipped medication [BCP], drug interactions, women who may not tell the truth they "forgot" [for whatever their reason] and may have not been truthful with the Practitioner. Remember though if taken strictly as directed, someone will be the statistical failure rate.

How each drug is selected is is based on the "property" of the pill and how it works with the female reproductive cycle. The types are chosen for reasons--much more info. gets into people falling asleep. Which works best for the woman will depend on how it reacts in her system & everyone has different reactions to any medication. Put differently, why is one person allergic to Sulfa based drugs and another is not? It's how if effects the specific person, not one "fits" all in this approach. Similarly, some women have no problem with BCP's, some can have a limited type due to side effects which they cannot tolerate, some women cannot take them for medical purposes, others (very few) cannot tolerate hormonal contraceptives and choose another method.