Old-fashioned boyfriend...

[Contessa]

Thanks for the responses.

Originally Posted by Ducy

If you really want to discuss this though, expect it to take a long time of deep convo because I made my mind up to wait till marraige, but when I decide to change my mind, it took me a good month or so of thinking bfore I made up my mind.

What made you change your mind?

[Ducy]

I realized that I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I wasnt choosing to stay abstinent till marraige because I wanted to. I did it because...well A I went to a catholic school so obviously thats all they preach. B They had me sign a abstinence card which at the time I had little idea what it meant (6th grade lol) and C my parents pulled the...well your uncle had aids you could get it too from having sex...

Found out later he caught it because he was working at a hospital, his hand got caught in a machine which cut it terrible, and when they gave him a blood transfusion, it was HIV positive, and about 2 months later was full blown aids, so I thought wow living a lie, here I am not enjoying life, doing what I want all because of some stupid preachings and a lie.

So I decided I would just wait till I felt ready and was with someone I knew I would enjoy it with.

[sera300]

So enjoying your time now Ducy? LOL!

[EvilEvilKitten]

Virginity = ignorance. It was originally promulgated for several reasons and was based upon several erroneous beliefs.
To wit:

1. sex turned people away from God and made them devoted to their life here and now - wife and kids included.
2. sex is dirty, bestial, and repugnant - the ONLY way to make it decent and fit for humans was between married couples
3. even between married couples - sex was ONLY for reproduction
4. the woman who has sex was tainted forever and therefore became as 2 above (Lamarck) - as well as used goods
5. should a woman enjoy sex even within marriage - she was a slut and not worthy of her husband's respect and regard
6. if a husband screwed around outside of marriage and brought home a disease - it was his wife's fault

The onous fell upon women because St. Augustine of Hippo would get an erection if a lucious girl wandered by, naturally he blamed her because 'after all she was the daughter of Eve' the destroyer of Eden.

I find it interesting that your boyfriend would want to be a party to such a disgusting creed.
Your value as a human being does NOT lie between your legs!

I am aware that some think having sex without marriage "cheapens" the relationship, the woman, and maybe the man as well.
But there is nothing at all cheap about sex - it is such a wonderful way of expressing yourself!

[missyD]

I must say, your responses make me want to strap him down and have him read them...

I appreciate everyone's answers... except the one about the vibrator because as ladies know, it's no substitute for the real thing.

Ducy...he's doing it for the same reasons, some sort of church brainwashing and I can't get him to realize that I'm not just looking for that. I feel like if I've been here this long, I clearly care about more than sex, but I want that too! I don't know what to do to make him realize that it's probably not going to land him in hell if we love eachother... at least he says he loves me.

[Ducy]

Sera:


Well...IDK your going to have to decide, cuz I mean with those two 21 year olds, its kinda hard to decide if I enjoy life or not
.
.
.
OF COURSE!!!!!

[EvilEvilKitten]

Hang on, Missy, I have a website for you. Just let me get the link.

http://www.iep.utm.edu/s/sexualit.htm

There you go.

In fact, you all would benefit from a close read of the text. Warning, this is the real stuff - philosophy & metaphysics - nice meaty thoughts for wrestling with.

[dlb]

Weird weird weird weird WEIRD!
Some one is bound to say that this sounds harsh, but I suspect that if you do marry this guy you are going to continue being frustrated sexually.