Is being overweight a turn off?

[tinas]

I am a female who weighs 80kgs (size 14), so whilst I am hardly obese, I am definitely not a stick and have a really flabby stomach, big thighs etc.

I was wondering how many guys really are turned off by not skinny girls? I have started seeing a new guy and so far he seems keen, but I am terrified that when he sees me naked for the first time he will be completely turned off.

Would guys normally even notice that my ass looks big in jeans, fat rolls in my stomach etc? He is a really nice guy and maybe he wouldn't keep asking me out if he thought I was that bad??

[Boris]

From my point of view, I always value personality in a girl, and looks are always a bonus. Its obvious that the guy likes you, be confidant in yourself and you shall reap the benefits of making yourself feel good and your man.

[WallyLlama]

We are an appearance-driven society, no doubt about that.

But that doesn't mean it's all that matters. Trust this guy to be interested in you as a whole person, not just a body.

The bigger turnoff is being paralyzed by a lack of self-confidence, including an unwillingness to accept another person's interest and desire.

One request: when you return to read the replies post something positive about yourself.

[Buffy_Lynn]

I agree with the above posts. Especially Wally's. Self doubt and lack of self-confidence is unattractive. (My boyfriend has told me so). Just realise you are beautiful in your own way just like everyone else. And you are valued for your personallity and being who you are. He obviously likes you, so trust him and yourself and indulge.

[WallyLlama]

And post something positive if you've read these replies! :-)

[learning]

hi tinas, Being overweight (as said by the above replies) is not a turn off provided you carry yourself with confidence (wally) and your appearance (as with people of any build) is neat and presentable.

I agree that this guy must like you as, if he didn't, he would not have asked you out again.

As said by Wally, appearance is what society looks at and as such irrespective of one's body size, if you can carry yourself with confidence and dignity you can be every bit (if not more so) as sexy as the so called "well built" persons.

Remember, the old (but true) cliche, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I know of many guys (myself included) that prefer a larger figured lady over a "skinny" girl.

Please, there is no offence intended on any parties but cleanliness, confidence, personality qand presentability is of paramount importance.

[justaLUVR]

being overweight is NOT a turn off. I always think about bigger women, and im am not overweight. and this is my point of view, unless you are a transvestite, women only get prettier with less clothes.

[moose_hd]

WallyLamma's got it... Men are attracted to slim, trim female bodies the same way women are attracted to men with lots of money/resources/influence: In a hormonal and obsolete way.

These things may have mattered a lot in hunter/gatherer societies, but in the modern world it is shallow to rely only on such factors.

I think we humans are really obsolete creatures now when it comes to selecting a sexual partner; We've changed our environment and society faster than evolution changes us, and as such both women and men have a powerful underlying sexual attraction to factors that really shouldn't be the most important things in a partner.

I'm not saying that people aren't attracted to a person's reliability, honesty, generosity, integrity, intelligence, openness, etc. It's just that our instincts don't put these things first. I wonder how much better the world would be if our instincts really did prioritise these things above looks and money.

[orchid]

i hate to bring this phrase up because it's slightly offensive, but some guys prefer "more cushion for the pushin." I know several men who find slender women to look sickly and are afraid that they'll break them. more men think that then you'd think, but it's almost like the media doesn't want that secret to get out. and i think that only size 14, you have nothing to worry about, especially since your guy genuinely likes you for you, which women of any size want.

[curious Al]

i guess its how shallow a person is! Although my friends would call me a bit of a hypocrite, i generally go for the slim girls at first, but if i find if im attracted to a 'bigger' girl, i would become attracted to them after iv got to know them..
Im sure your male friend wont be put off by your body, and if he is you can do better!