Getting aroused

[Vitsippa]

(I'm female, 23)

OK, I've read all the threads about having trouble reaching orgasm and all the advice on several different websites... That is not my problem. YET.

I can't even come close. I've tried just about everything I can think of during masturbation to get myself turned on, even to a small extent, but no luck. I just cannot get turned on, and never really have. Ever. I don't have a partner at the moment so I'm alone in this.

As far as I'm aware I have no hang-ups about sex or my self-esteem, I like my body, I enjoy touch and there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with my body, but.... I don't get aroused.

What on earth is going on? I would love to enter this world which you're all talking about, but it's like I can't even find the door!

Any advice would be hugely appreciated.

[Brandye]

From your post, I am assuming you are not virgin.

1. Read Our Bodies Our Selves
2. Have a complete gyn exam - telling your doctor exactly what you state here (women are generally more attuned to these issues but good male gyn's are certainly around)
3. Develop a fantasy life that includes the erotic
4. Get a good vibrator - certainly some of your friends can recommend a specific model.
5. Get your gyn to refer you to a sex therapist

After that homework, tell a sex partner, male or female, what you are dealing with. If partners are aware, their expectations will be healthier than if they assume you respond "normally."