Holding an Orgasm, Problems...

[Timido]

I, I'm a 18year old man/guy. I like to go through this wonderful site and read people experiences, problems and solutionsm and I have to say it's a great site.

Okay, now for what's bothering me:
A while ago, i read a bit about tantric sex, and about having an orgasm without ejaculating. So I tried to do that, contracting the PC muscle and controlling my breathing. The few times I've tried, I couldn't keep myself from ejaculating, although I think I was pretty closed, as it felt a bit weird.
The problem is I think I ejaculate, but don't have an orgasm. It's very strange really. On top of that, when I did that, I had ejaculations when I was sleeping, It really bothered me, and I didn't realise then, it was from my experimenting with my orgasms.

Has anyone experience something similar?, ejaculating without feeling a real orgasm?.. having nocturnal emissions after that?...

By the way, I almost never ever ejaculate when I'm sleeping, so it has to be directly connected.

And anyone knows how can I prevent the nocturnal emissions without having to stop trying to achive a non ejaculatory orgasm? , It's really bad to wake up with a smudge in the bed.

I think a solution would be to have a "normal" orgasm after a "failed try", but it's a bit time consuming..

- Timido

[dancingdoc2]

> Okay, now for what's bothering me:
A while ago, i read a bit about tantric sex, and about having an orgasm without ejaculating. So I tried to do that, contracting the PC muscle and controlling my breathing. The few times I've tried, I couldn't keep myself from ejaculating, although I think I was pretty closed, as it felt a bit weird.
The problem is I think I ejaculate, but don't have an orgasm. It's very strange really.

Ejaculating and not having an orgasm is more common than the Tantric version of vice versa, at least here in the west. As you have learned, it is possible to separate the two events.

> On top of that, when I did that, I had ejaculations when I was sleeping, It really bothered me, and I didn't realise then, it was from my experimenting with my orgasms.

Are you certain?

> Has anyone experience something similar?, ejaculating without feeling a real orgasm?.. having nocturnal emissions after that?...

Yes, to the former; no, to the latter. As noted, this is not uncommon.

> By the way, I almost never ever ejaculate when I'm sleeping, so it has to be directly connected.

Are you certain?

> And anyone knows how can I prevent the nocturnal emissions without having to stop trying to achive a non ejaculatory orgasm? , It's really bad to wake up with a smudge in the bed.

Wet dreams happen when Mother Nature deems them necessary. You can keep them from happening by masturbating regularly.

> I think a solution would be to have a "normal" orgasm after a "failed try", but it's a bit time consuming.

So...what's an extra three or four minutes?

[Brandye]

The topic of "tantric sex" comes up every few months. Tantrism is a complete philosophic model and the sex part cannot be separated the enlightenment that comes with total practice. I am not a practicioner but have simply read about it. We westerners tend to misuse so much of Eastern thought systems. The last time around, I recommended that the poster find a teacher. His response was that he wanted to avoid the teacher-student repression.

I, too, but would not be much of a doctor without a few teachers. Doc, above, has addressed some of the physiologic issues. You need a tantric teacher to really delve into what is happening. The non-ejaculatory orgasm is simply a retrograde emission. With proper control, the semen is redirected upwards into the bladder rather than out through the urethra. I can't figure why any man would want to do that but then I do not ejaculate when reaching orgasm.

I suspect that with partial control you are withholding the ejaculate rather causing a retrograde emission. That would bloat the prostate and other storage areas and that has got to get out to make room for what you are making constantly. Hence, as Doc points out, a noctural emission.

Because we have not practicioners of Tantrism here, you will not get a satisfactory reply. If there is a Far Eastern Center, or some such, in your town, you will be able to get a line on learning. The mystical arts are hardly adaptable to web based learning.

[Timido]

> > By the way, I almost never ever ejaculate when I'm sleeping, so it has to be directly connected.

>Are you certain?

Well, It happened the 2 weeks I was trying it, it didn't happen before, (only like 1 or 2 times in years), and it never happened after it (it was more than a month ago, i think).

> > I think a solution would be to have a "normal" orgasm after a "failed try", but it's a bit time consuming.

> So...what's an extra three or four minutes?

It's very hard to have an orgasm after ejaculating, I have to wait a bit. I can keep myself with an erection, but the sensation is different and sometimes I can't even come unless I stop, let it subside, wait a bit, and then restart all over again.

Thanks for the answers


EDIT:

To brandye: Thanks. I'm not really into the psychological factor, for now at least. I was just messing around and experimenting new stuff :P
The nocturnal ejaculations really did mess things up, but I'll try to go around the problem.
As for the "I can't figure why any man would want to do that but then I do not ejaculate when reaching orgasm.",
Well, the idea is to have pleasure and keep everything has it was before, and only ejaculate when I feel like it, after a good time of pleasure for me and my partner (not only pleasure from the orgasm, but from everything related with sex)
-Timido

[orange22]

I can relate to your frustration.. I'm 22 and female and can cum without "orgasming".. mostly caused by going to fast or doing something new that got me too excited too fast. i'll finish, but don't get that rush of oh so goodness throughout my body. if it doesn't happen, i give up. it takes too long and i look forward to the next night.



short version-it's normal, for everybody not just guys