Saliva test and vagina test

[mggrlica]

weird guys, very weird!!!!!!!!!

[LyingAwake]

I would just liek to say that, if these tests exsisted (I don't know whether they do or not) and someone tried it on me, the relationship would be over then and there.

I don't even know how there could be a relationship with so little trust.

[Luvs2plzU]

Trust for me is THE biggest thing in a relationship...if you have lost trust with your girlfriend why even BOTHER to carry all this baggage wondering if she has, if she hasn't, is there a test....the two of you are not even married, so it's not like she has to try real hard and GAIN your trust back...better off to move on..cuz there aren't any tests like that you can purchase over the counter...now perhaps if something criminally goes wrong..there is DNA testing.....like I said...there's lots of fish in the sea...move on...you are young...

[Brandye]

The only thing is a "rape kit." Then you would need to take a swab of her vagina within 24 hours of sex without a condom. In other words, foregt it and get a new g/f.

[batman527]

This one could fall under the much hoped for LDR forum. I hope a moderator sees it! His problem doesn't really come down to a LDR issue, but he's still in one!

[dancingdoc2]

In addition to Brandye's concluding statement, I urge that you do some maturing with regard managing interpersonal relationships.

> I have been away from my girlfriend since a month ago.

In other words, and from her point of view, you two are no longer an "item"; therefore, she is free to date.

> I am not sure whether she did or not.

This is her business not yours. How much of it becomes your business depends upon how much she wants to tell you, not how much you attempt to learn by sleuthing or other devious methods.

> I've already have tried to get the truth out of her, but I've got nothing. I am not kind of a psycho but I really need to know the truth since this is the only way to get the trust back,

This is just wrong on so many levels. You definitely need to grow up and do some maturing. Trust is earned, not taken. Truth be told, you do not need to know anything more than she is willing to divulge. If the two of you do get back together then pick up the pieces and move no and do not drag the past along.

Your comments seem to indicate that you consider this person to be your property. A healthy relationship is a partnership in which we give to each other and thus receive as a result. We do not take from the other in order to get. There is a very big difference. My guess is that from your attitude she wouldn't want to return to the previous relationhip with you. My advise, take what you have learned from all these replies and move on. Find someone else and work on establishing a better relationship that is not demanding and built on mutual advantages. Male or female, we are in a relationship because we want to be, and this should be the only message any of us need. Our respective pasts can be shared or not and should the two of you get back together you would be wise to build upon a new foundation rather than to repair the cracks in the prevous one.

[LittleFury]

Why be with a person in whom you have so little trust in? Be fair to her, and let her find a guy who will be able to trust her and love her.
And unfortunatly from your post...you do sound a little psycho. Just let her go, and find a girl who you can trust.

[katiebug]

I do not think you are psycho, as others have suggested. I think you've been cheated on and are in a very hard place right now where you are feeling a lot of pain. I have been there, and gone through that. I know how you feel.

However - think of it this way. What exactly do you plan to do with this information if you find out that she has kissed/had sex with another person? Why do you push so hard for that information? I think the fact that you've found out that she's seeking out other people and that she's cheated on you in some way is enough. Don't cause yourself more pain than is necessary. Is it really more forgiveable if you find out that she didn't have sex with someone but instead only kissed them? In my book - cheating is cheating. If your instincts are telling you that something more has happened than what she is telling you, you are probably right.

You would never be able to force her to take any of these tests, even if they did exist. If she isn't willing to tell you with her own words what has happened, and be honest with you, I can gaurantee you she won't agree to any kind of lab test to prove to you that she hasn't cheated on you. And if you did find out that she had slept with another man and lied about it, how is that going to help you. It will only make you feel that much worse.

I think you should really think about the future of your relationship - and whether you can go on in a relationship where the trust has been shattered and where secrets are being kept. I know how much it hurts. But I think you should save your own dignity and make your decision to leave, instead of searching for all these inconsequential answers. You deserve a relationship that includes respect and commitment from the other person. You are obviously not getting that here. My advice is to walk away, and be happy that you DON'T know all the details. Sometimes not knowing is better than knowing.

[champloo]

ive tried asking people questions, to see if they told the truth or not.

usually they get pissed off, and then lie (if they arent already) about things not related to your questions.

but it sounds like she thought she was free game, and therefore you should go find another chick.

and, i wouldnt agree to taking a test to see if ive been active, regardless of what it did.

to me, it sounds like a ticket to being on the stage with maury and the camera crew.