Bisexual

[oberon]

Okay, this question just occurred to me, and in doing a search I see it hasn't been discussed. *So I just wondered what everyone else's opinion might be.

Would you date and/or become seriously involved with someone who was bisexual?

For my own response, I'm not sure. *I could say that it would depend on the person- but that sounds like a cop-out to me. *I have absolutely nothing against bisexuals and feel that they should be allowed to be as honest about who they are attracted to as anyone else. *I just think, for me, I'd always be wondering if he could be happy with just me. *So anyone else have an opinion? *A comment? *Anyone bisexual is free to tell me this is a stupid question, but please explain how one should feel secure in a relationship knowing that there are things you like that they can never provide. * Thanks.

[Brandye]

Well, as many her know, I am an actively bi-sexual woman. My primary relationship is another bi-sexual woman whom I have know all my life. After school, we went our separate ways for education, she married, had a son and was divorced; I lived with a fellow male student in med school and had a serious relationship that ended with his untimely death.

Eva and I are very content but each have an occasional need for some "penis time." We have very strict rules about that and neither of us would cheat. There are two things a man can do that another woman cannot: furnish a real, live penis to take into me; and, 2. leave a little deposit. The first is mainly physical (it feels much better than any substitute device) and the second, psychological. Biologically, we women are supposed to receive the semen to keep the species going and there is something very satisfying about doing that. Otherwise, my female partners (and there have been fewer of them than male partners) can do anything a man can do for me. In many cases with greater satisfaction for me.

What happens if either of us becomes serious with a man? I do not know.

So there is half the answer. Whether I would become knowingly involved with a bisexual male is doubtful. The risks are too high for me. I am "with" a man six or seven times a year. I do not want to be worrying about that limited, but very enjoyable, contact. Eva and I have talked this out to extremes and strangers are simply not allowed.

[oberon]

Thanks, Brandye. You would think, as a gay man, I would somehow understand or be more understanding of a different sexuality. But I must admit, bisexuals are a complete mystery to me. That by no means should lead anyone to think that I believe bisexuality is wrong. I guess I'd just like to understand the concept a little better.

You say you are in a relationship with another bisexual woman, but still have a "yen" for a man now and then. Do you believe a bisexual person MUST be in an open relationship?

[Brandye]

I really do not know the answer to that question. If Eva had remained married or if my fiance had not died, we each may have led very ordinary heterosexual lives. But, there have been studies concluding that up to thirty percent of married women do have homosexual partners at some point. While that figure seems high to me, I know many women who have outside affairs with other women - without their partners knowledge or consent. These are not casual contacts but women who are long time friends.

Neither Eva nor I have outside sexual contact with women. We have lesbian friends and, in fact, the racing crew for my sailboat is two bisexual women (Eva and I), one openly lesbian woman and a married housewife with three children. Sometimes we stretch our all girl rule and take either Eva's son or one of the married woman's teen sons. A little youthful muscle can help even in social racing.

So, open relationship? I never think of us as having that but I guess it meets the requirements. Certainly the married women I know who have girl friends are not open relationships. In some cases the husband could never understand. But while men are very likely to cheat with other women, women can very safely cheat with other women. And do not even have to douche!

[oberon]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Brandye @ April 26 2004,19:30)]But while men are very likely to cheat with other women, women can very safely cheat with other women. And do not even have to douche!

LOL... Okaaaay....

I would consider an open relationship one where there was outside sexual "playing" but two committed partners. Playing without your partner's knowledge or consent would, in my book at least, be cheating. Male or female, gay, straight, or bisexual. I've said before that I know people who are in open relationships and I think it takes a very high level of commitment and trust. Thanks, Brandye, for your answers. They have been great.
************************************

Well, surely there are more people with opinions on this subject. There are no "wrong" answers. You are comfortable with what you are comfortable. That might be, "Yes, I'd become involved if I liked or thought I could love the person..." or it might be "No, I just couldn't handle knowing there was a part of my partner that I couldn't sexually satisfy." Or anything else anyone might want to add....
So anyone..?

[oberon]

Come on... No one??

[Greendale]

I would date a woman who is bi-sexual considering I'm male. I've always fantasized having sex with two different women at the same time.

I would date a man who is bi too, women also love three somes with two gay men.

Dating bi people can be great, it could leave you to a good threesome.

[oberon]

A very enlightened attitude. Thanks, Greendale.

[leggyho]

I am bi. Trust me, nothing turns my husband on more than I bring a friend home for sharing.

[oberon]

Hi leggyho, and welcome to the show...

Yes, it's almost a stereotype that straight men love bisexual women- the whole "I get two" thing. *But I would also like to know if bisexuals could be in a monogamous relationship. Do you think that one person could ever be all you need?

Also, while the bisexual woman is, I think, becoming more acceptable, would you be okay if your husband were bisexual?

Thanks.