I feel kind of odd posting something like this on the internet, but in the interest of positive feedback, here I am. I recently started dating a new girl and about a week ago we took things to the next level. I have thoroughly enjoyed the experience, but I cannot bring her to climax for the life of me. This is odd for me because I have never had a problem in that area before. I've had a very satisfying sex life with my previous girlfriends and could generally get them to climax in 10 minutes, 15 at the most.
I tried to discuss the matter with my girlfriend, but she seems a little hesitant to talk about it. She's told me that it's not unusual for her, and that more often than not, she doesn't reach orgasm. However, she says it has happened for her before. We've tried having sex, fingering, and oral, and so far nothing has worked. I've pulled everything from my bag of tricks, and all of the things that drove my previous girlfriends wild barely gets a response from my current girlfriend.
I know it seems a bit ridiculous, but each time it doesn't happen for her, I feel like I've failed her. Of course, I care for this girl and I want her to be as satisfied as I am, but I seem to have hit a brick wall. Any suggestions?
For heaven's sake, use your imagination. Female sexual response is obvious. So is anything with orgasm in the title because most orgasm problems are women's. It will not hurt you to read some stuff here - do your own work and do not expect others to serve you.
Actually, I read quite a bit on here. I was just curious if you had any one particular thread in mind. I'm sorry that I asked. My intent was not to have anyone "serve me".
Basically you have to have the mentality of its her orgasm...not yours. She has already stated that she has trouble having them... many women are like this. Some need clit and penile stimulation... some just rarely orgasm.
Its not your fault and dont start feeling that way. If you are stressed and only in it to see if you can "win" over the orgasm.. then thats too much pressure.
Feeling like a failure to her doesn't help you or her feelings either. Imagine how that makes her feel? she feels bad and then you both feel like failures and that doesn't help the situation.
Only advice I can give is to just not "focus" on her lack of orgasm. Just have fun and more than likely it will just randomly happen on its own.. if not.. oh well. At least you tried but didn't make everyone feel crappy about it.
Thanks, demonbuttercup. I guess I just have a strong tendency to want to make the people I care about as happy as possible. For me at least, this isn't some macho male ego thing. I just want her to get the same satisfaction from the experience that I do.
I'll try to put it in the back of my head, because the last thing I want her to do is feel disappointed. I'll just continue as-is, enjoying all of the aspects of the relationship, and hopefully in time, the rest will come. Thanks.
Look at other items in this forum; look at New to Sex; look in Brandye's Chick Chat; look in Other Sex Topics. In the last three days this issue has been discussed several times.
I can't seem to find the threads that share the topic. Which threads in particular did you have in mind? Thanks.