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[QUOTE=WideAwake23;236588]So, my boyfriend and I have been dating about a year and eight months now, and we've been sexually active for almost a year now.

I feel sort of...I don't know, maybe "sexually frustrated" is the right phrase...? You see, we've been dating for almost two years now, and he's never made me orgasm -- or gotten close to having one.

[COLOR="blue">Do you masturbate and if so, do you regularly and consistently reach orgasm? If not, it is important that you learn how. We do not give orgasms away. Each of us is responsible for his/her own. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve them.[/COLOR]

I've tried talking to him several times about it, and it seemed like each time he'd vowed to try and make an effort. I've given him hundreds in the span that we've been dating, but with guys, it's much easier to get to orgasm than girls.

[COLOR="blue">This is not necessarily so, although, I do agree that it is more difficult for women. After learning to masturbate, each person quickly settles into a routine that while basically the same as everyone else in that gender, is also unique and specific to the individual. When masturbating we benefit from an internal feedback that lets us make tiny midcourse corrections along the route. This feedback is missing when we turn the reins over to our partner; therefore, we must provide verbal and/or non-verbal feedback on how we are responding to his/her caress and for what we need now/next. Otherwise, all we can hope for is a 50/50 chance of doing what is needed. With something so important who wants this as your "batting average"?[/COLOR]

After one of the talks, he said he "didn't know how to go about it," so I sent him several links (one of them from this site, actually) about helping boyfriends help their girlfriend orgasm. I've sent him several links giving detailed descriptions of the female anatomy, how to "go about it," how to go down on a girl, and how to help her achieve an orgasm. But it seems like he never gets around to reading them, or if he does, he forgets to try some of the things suggested on any of the links.

[COLOR="blue">It sounds to me as if your boyfriend is too wrapped up in his own ego to learn something new that may help the situation. It also seems like he has not heard the old adage that "if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" When will guys learn to swallow their pride and do whatever it takes to make their partner's life better today, every day?[/COLOR]

However, when he DOES really try to make me (like for foreplay), about ten or so minutes in, he has to stop because A) if he's fingering me, his arm's tired or hurts, or B) if he's going down on me, just stops for no reason, or to have sex.

Tired limbs, lips, and, tongue are common. Both of you should also learn how to make love. (And you can begin by letting him read this.)

I think in his head it's become a norm that I'm not supposed to have an orgasm or something, because it seems like he just...doesn't care all that much. And frankly, I'm human, and I get pissed at him for it; it seems like he comes up with this romantic excuses that are supposed to distract me from the real issue. During one arguement because I didn't feel like having sex, I said something along the lines of, "Well, what does it matter? I'm not going to orgasm anyway!" to which he replied, "Well, to me, it's more than just sex! It's MAKING LOVE!"
[COLOR="blue">
You may be correct. A knowledgeable, skilled, caring, lover understands that making love is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with and for each other. As such he should be learning everything he can on how to make each session pleasurable, enjoyable, and with variety to spice things up.

Good manners dictate that a woman enjoy her orgasm first, and if it is her desire--last. In between he can enjoy his and the two of you can enjoy additional orgasms. [/COLOR]

And don't get me wrong, it's not just *fucking* with me at ALL. I love him...and I've shown how much I love him many, many times. Yes, making love is a beautiful thing, but I'm still happy to give him blowjobs and handjobs. I like making him happy, but it seems like he either A) is too afraid to try to give me an orgasm (which, at this point in our relationship, I have NO IDEA how to help...), or B) simply doesn't care.

[COLOR="black">Again, let him read this and then point him to the Index found at the top of the main screen. It contains links to helpful informative insightful how-to articles.[/COLOR]

I don't know. I'm sorry if I come off as a bitch, but if you were in my place, you'd feel just as neglected or let down as I do.[/QUOTE]

If you continue to run up against his unwillingness to expand his knowledge and caring to make your love life all that it can be, you may just have to decide he is not the guy for you. Dating after all should not begin and end with the first warm body who expresses an interest in us. It is to learn about what humanity has to off and by experiencing lots of different personalities, characters, likes, dislikes, morals, values, etc., to be better able to recognize when Mr./Ms. Right does come along. Dating should not be an exclusive or committed activity until a person is ready to settle down and get married.

Congratulations - you have found yourself a "selfish lover" - one that does not reciprocate because heck, he gets his an that's fine with him.

Is THIS what you want? You've given him two years of your life. That is enough. Any more and we'll start calling you "doormat". Yeah, yeah, yeah - you love him. WHY? Step back and really look at him. Can you imagine what 30 to 40 years of living with such a selfish and uncaring man will do to you? Who will you become after 30 to 40 years of no orgasms for you? What will his attitude teach your children?

This is precisely why it is important to play the field and to road test a man before you marry him. How a man treats you when you're naked in his arms matters because it indicates his most basic character.

Kick this man to the curb and please, tell him why.

Doc - guys will learn when they're made to pay the price for being "selfish" and women learn to stop "taking in on the chin".
A bit of education from a dominatrix would help most men learn to pay attention.

You have told him and you have given him resources. He continues in his old ways. Surprise - the Bad Cat is right again! Move on.