Long time sence I have been on here, almost a year. Lots have change in my relationship, me and my then GF are now happily engaged, no date set atm. Now, I got a question and maybe you women can give me some ideas on it.
In the last year that me and my girl have been togeather, she has never asked me to give her oral sex, but will give it to me. OK guys, I know, LUCK BASTARD.... but she will not give it to me that offen, only when we are realy worked up, but when I try to give to her, she just asks me not to and just to get on with "other" actions.
Well, after a talk with her a week or so ago I found out why, lets just say she had a very bad relatertion ship some years ago with a guy who forced her to let him give her oral and it has turned her off to the idea totaly.
What I want to know, anyone know what I can do to please her sence there is no way she would let me give her oral? and anyone got any ideas on how or should I talk her into getting a toy for the bed room, just for those times when I cant get it done or dont have it in me but still want to please her...
One must realize that there are some women that just don't care for it. Whether it be the aforementioned scenerio (scumbag), morality or just grossed out. You really cannot push to hard here. Accept her wishes and over time maybe, just maybe, she'll allow you in. As for the toy..........break her in gently to the idea. Again, over a period of time. If you two are going to be together forever, you have the time..excercise patience!
Uhmmm, perhaps I've missed this: but did she indicate to you that you're not pleasing her? Maybe she's perfectly happy with whatever you're doing now! :)
About your question: of course there are other ways to please her then oral. This site is full of information on it! Whatever you do, you will not please her when she's uncomfortable or even feeling scared. I do understand where she's coming from... Do think about that not all girls require this kind of direct stimulation. How about: caressing her back, softly blowing over her tummy or stroke it while barely touching, nibbling her ears, softly blowing or licking the back of her neck, kissing her feet and legs (especially the back of her knees), stroking her hairs, etc. And if she does want you, slowly go to stroking, licking and kissing her breast. And you could use fingers instead of your tongue, also to please her more directly. Just read her signs carefully...
I would highly recommend all the touching-stuff; very slowly, take very much time to do it! :) Going from softer to more firmly. There's nothing that pleases me more :o And ILTL is right; oral's not all to a woman. Personally: there are times when I'm really into it and ask him for it, but mostly I like his mouth for the licking and kissing of other parts of me.
O, come to think of it; maybe EEK's bodyworshiping-stuff might be something for you to read! Although the part I read also involved gently tying up (which I surely wouldn't recommend, given the 'being-forced'-thing!) Also I don't agree with that the touching shouldn't tickle. To me, it's great to have a laugh during this touching. It makes me let go of all the pressure built up in my body. And makes me extra enjoy it. A laugh is the energy of life! :) Just keep it to a laugh or two, not making her roling of the bed because of giggles!
Anyways, good luck, be patient and be loving with everything you do.
thanks for the imput so far. I do a lot of kissing and pleasing to the rest of her body its just, I want to find something else I can do for her sence that is her one and only nono
Sorry I am late - traffic.
This is another example of "making this man here pay for something some other guy did" and it is unfair. Yes, I know - getting over it isn't easy - never said it would be - but ya know the 'desire to please' isn't any easier to demy than the 'desire to be pleased'.
I suggest a calm "out of the bedroom discussion" about the Desire to Please.
Of course she has the right to say No to anything. Just be very careful when you do say No to something.
And you don't have to tie your partner down to do body worship; that's just a bonus.
well evil, we have had that talk between me and her, and its one of those things that I guess there is no moving past. Which is ok with me cause I have never been any good at oral and wtih me, its no biggy. There other parts of her body and I have even make her have a orgasm just by kissing on her neck once or twice....
Realy, I was just trying to find or come up with some more ideas to please her..