My girlfriend masterbates every once in a while and can bring herself to orgasm. I can bring her to orgasm through oral sex but by focusing only on her clit. she says that her clit is the thing that brings her to orgasm. she has never had an orgasm during sex. I would really love to have her be able to orgasm when we have sex. We are extraordinarily open and communicative so any suggestions on how to bridge that gap or even mayeb sexual positions that emphasize cilttoral stimulation would be appreciated.
Mon, 08/14/2006 - 05:19
#1
From oral orgasm to orgasm during sex
One-quarter of all women nevr experience orgasm; one-half do not experience orgasm during penile thrusting; that leaves one-quarter of us who regularly or frequently reach orgasm during vaginal sex. Most of us require additional stimulation.
Look around. This has been addressed many times. Read Female Sexual Response in Chick Chat
> Most of us require additional stimulation.
Just to clarify--this means that with most sexual positions there is too little contact between a woman's pieces parts and the guy's for there to be the required constant and continual rubbing required to generate the necessary friction and stimulation.
So, that said, what knowledgeable and skilled lovers do is to reach around and finger her various pieces parts while stroking.
Here is the lowdown on suitable positions:
* Very few lend themselves to the ongoing contact required
* Here is a listing of those that provide the best chance of success:
+ Woman Superior
+ Missionary position in which the man "rides high" up so
that the base of his penis and/or pubic mound contacts
her vulva
+ The so called "X" and "Y" positions. The couple reclines
side-by-side facing each other. The difference between
the two are in the position of the legs.
Oral stimulation is generally quite intense, yet it is not intensity that brings about an orgasm, it is the pattern of the stimulation. I addressed this matter, yesterday. Here is an excerpt from that reply. While it is written to a man, the information holds true for women, so just change the pronouns:
"We all understand the basics of stroking a penis and fingering a clitoris; however, there is more to this that I call the "fine art" of the matter and that is the specific technique that we work out that is unique to each one of us. It is this fine art that must be learned by our partner. I recommend showing her how you masturbate and then taking her hand and guiding her movements several times with your own until she learns to mimic what you do when home alone.
What often happens with oral stimulation is that we become extremely aroused and the sensations we experience are much more intense than what we get just from a hand job (done correctly or not). Think of the situation as a "Y" in which you begin to become aroused down at the tail and then if you follow one branch you reach a climax having received the long relied upon stimulation (or close to it); yet if the two of you follow the other branch applying oral stimulation, you will very likely achieve a higher high yet the sensations will not be what we require to trigger an orgasm.
To have your cake and eat it too, have her combine both oral and manual stimulation near the end when you approaching the trigger point of your orgasm. Working together these two forms of stimulation are a dynamic duo!"
We do not give orgasms away. Each of us, male and female, is responsible for our own. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve his/her own. To do this, it is important that we learn what is required. I regularly recommend that we show each other how we masturbate and then to take each others hand and guide their movements several times until we learn to mimic the movements, rhythms, and pressures each of us has come to rely upon over the years.
with the type of clittoral stiumulation she needs for orgasm i was thinking of a cock ring with a vibrator or maybe using a bullet vibrator while we have sex. i have never used a cock ring but i'm open to any suggestions or ideas.
Vibrators don't work for everyone. I have several, I've never reached an orgasm with them whether through clit stimulation or by inserting it.
I can bring myself to orgasm by clit stimulation with no problem. If he tries, generally it starts to hurt because well, I have a big "hood" so to speak, and one side is much more sensitive than the other when exposed or touched and usually he starts to hit that one side and area and it hurts more than anything.
But I'll give him credit, he always tries, and he knows if I back off, it's too much. But, he did manage to bring me to orgasm with oral. Something I thought no one would ever be able to do. And I think he enjoyed it too as he's not an oral giving person and he's willing to do it again, so I think he's happy he's found a way to "help" me so to speak.
So anyways, I'd say be happy you can get her off during oral as Brandye said, some women never reach it at all.
If you want to try to have her reach one during sex, try having her rub her clit. She knows her body and knows the hot spots. I've done that as well for us and while it isn't the same as him getting me off, it still works.
Thanks doctor for ur suggestion