Hmmm... another sacred cow? Post a poll and I'll bet you discover that you're assumption is wrong.

I disagree that guys don't like giving oral...my boyfriend loves it. He begs me to let him. They may be hesitant at first, but after a period of time, I find they mostly like it.

Unless all we only hear from are the vocal minority that like during election times often swing an election, I tend to agree that men do like pleasuring their partners orally.

Vibrators and dildos come to mind.

i have to say, i dont really enjoy when a guy goes down on me..i dont know why really, and its not because i feel unconfortable, i have no pb with that at all. I had some guys that where not too bad at it but most of them are just super wet slobby... do you know what i mean? maybe i just had guys that sucked at it but i was never even close to orgasming with oral sex... :-(

Here, again, is an oft repeated bit of insight I offer regularly.

Making love should be a partnership. It is not what we do to each other, rather, what we do with and for each other. As a partnership, it is to both of your interests to teach each other and learn together.

Back in the olden days (before the sexual revolution of the 1960s) sex was pretty much a one-sided event in favor of the man's focus on getting his rocks off. If his wife received some satisfaction, well so much the better. Most husbands and boyfriends were "clueless in Seattle" and every other city, town, and farm when it came to understanding a woman's needs and her orgasms.

We do not give orgasms away. Each of us is responsible for our own. All any of us can do is to help our partner achieve hers/his. The best way to do this is to teach and guide each other as to what we need and how to provide it. In addition, providing feedback is crucial. When we masturbate we benefit from an internal feedback that guides our movements and permits us to modulate them or make any minor midcourse corrections. When we turn the job over to our partner, we no longer have direct feedback. What we must do is compensate by giving each other verbal and/or non-verbal feedback.

Verbal can be a whispered word or other utterence; non-verbal can be a squeeze of the hand or other body english that conveys a specific meaning. Without benefit of feedback all any of us can hope for is getting it right about half the time. With something so important who wants this as their batting average?

> maybe i just had guys that sucked at it but i was never even close to orgasming with oral sex.

If you enjoy oral stimulation, I encourage you (and others) to take command of your orgasms by working together as a team; teach each other what touches work and do not, and give each other feedback on how you are responding to their touch and caresses. Doing so will turn your guy from a lover who "sucks at it" to one whose sucking in part is exquisite.

[QUOTE=Lass]Most guys don't particularly like giving oral to a girl for number of reasons...some I agree with. My own guy, though he be wonderful at it, doesn't really like to give me oral. It stings me a bit that he doesn't like to do that to me but I will do that to him for hours at a time (I love doing it to him) so I don't know...he has no issues with fingering me its just the going down on me.

Does anybody know of other 'options' he could do other then just fingering me without having to go down on me?[/QUOTE]

I don't know what your boyfriend's problem is with that. I absolutely love giving oral sex - I can't imagine not enjoying it as long as my significant other observes good hygiene.

I think you've got your guy totally spoiled. You should cut off the BJ's immediately and see if that grabs his attention. This should be a two way street.

[QUOTE=Lass]....My own guy, though he be wonderful at it, doesn't really like to give me oral....[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Lass]To be honest, the few times he has done it, I haven't felt anything.[/QUOTE]

These two statements appear to contradict. So is he getting you off that way or not? I'm a little confused... :confused:

[QUOTE=Lass]....I know what feels good to me which yes, at times he does hit it, but once he hits it he changes or does something that makes him drop that moment...[/QUOTE]

That statement sounds like almost every BJ my wife has ever given me.

The few times she has done it, it was because I was REALLY encouraging her to do it. She doesn't like to do it, she doesn't feel comfortable doing it, and she really doesn't know how to make herself expend energy to pleasure me the way that I have always pleasured her.

Her heart is simply not in it and it shows. After several years, she still has not learned the nuances of what makes me feel good. The reason she hasn't learned is because, deep down, she's not interested in learning.

I suspect that there is an element of this with your BF - he simply isn't real interested in learning how to pleasure you. It appears that you are like me - we both enjoy giving our partners pleasure. It is very satisfying to us. However, our partners simply don't return that favor for whatever reason.

Seriously, I don't understand how a guy in a steady relationship would not want to go down on his partner and learn how to drive her wild. It's just not that hard to learn and it is a hell of a lot of fun to learn. All you have to do is concentrate on her, take your time, respond to her body language, and ask questions when she's not giving you a cue.

[QUOTE=Lass]lol mk, let me correct myself.

I have only had one or two guys do that to me so my knowledge on whats the best and whats not is a little bit short sighted. I know what feels good to me which yes, at times he does hit it, but once he hits it he changes or does something that makes him drop that moment. If I'm making any sense....

But for the larger part of things, I don't feel anything. Occasionally I do, but not very often.[/QUOTE]

Okay, hold on. Lass, I just skimmed another thread and realized you were the one who was going on a "break" because your BF was wanting to dabble in the single life again.

That puts this thread in a new light.

Your BF isn't just ignoring your "sexual needs", he is ignoring ALL of your needs. I think you may be focusing on this oral thing too much because your "relationship" with him has much bigger problems than oral sex.

You need to move on. Keep in mind that there are guys out there who will appreciate you far more than this guy will if you just give them the chance. But you can't give them the chance if you're still emotionally shackled to this guy.

That's just my 2 cents.

ua322, you make alot of sense and (i cant believe im saying this) but, i agree on your comment of "holding back on the BJs and see how he likes it" And i agree that he doesnt seem to be commited.

Now you have 4 cents

[QUOTE=AptPupil]ua322, you make alot of sense and (i cant believe im saying this) but, i agree on your comment of "holding back on the BJs and see how he likes it" And i agree that he doesnt seem to be commited.

Now you have 4 cents[/QUOTE]

Hey, we're amassing a small fortune!