You may want to try going from the missionary postion to variations of it see the position section on this site. Different variations without him pulling out can be attanded.

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> he only likes missionary during penetrative sex. he wants to do other positions but he just stops being hard when we try other things.

This may be OK short term; long term--B O R I N G. Please go to the Home Page and click on the sexual positions section. They are separated by category, are illustrated--and, animated! Have fun trying those that the two of you find interesting.

That your boyfriend loses his erection trying other positions can be the result of different things working. The two of you will have to do some experimenting and making it fun along the way.

1. Perhaps the biggest concern is talking about it in a way that he interprets as being critical. Performance Anxiety and worry go hand-in-hand. The easiest way to cure PA is to quite literally stop worrying.

> i've heard that making a big deal about a man going soft will make the issue worse, so i don't want to make fuss of it.

2. When a penis begins to go flaccid, it does not mean that play time is over, quite the contrary. Use the opportunity of him losing an erection to rebuild it. Take matters into your own hands so to speak and watch your efforts make it grow! What power you have over him. Smile and relish the moment.

3. Devote plenty of time to doing whatever is necessary to bring each other's level of arousal to peak. For you, this should be no less than half an hour devoted to fooling around and making out before ever getting to the Foreplay stage--and then to intercourse. He will benefit from this time and attention, also.

If one or the other of you detects that his penis is softening, change what you are doing and give it some direct stimulation and include his other erogenous zones at the same time. My guess is that the two of you are rushing to the finish line, not spending sufficient time making out, which results in not much in the way of sexual tension being created.

> however i know i could teach him a lot, but i'm afraid it won't turn him on and he'll go soft again... and the repeated experience of him going soft will make it an issue.

Perhaps you can; however, making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other in partnership. Explore and learn together. One important thing to know and understand is #2, above.

Intercourse should begin when you invite him in with either a verbal or non-verbal invitation. Penetration should begin only when he is rock hard and you can maintain or peak his readiness as you handle his penis. It is not unusual for a man to begin to go soft when moving around and shifting position. If this happens, just take it in stride and play with his penis until he is again ready.

> what can i do to make trying other positions good for him? i think he might be scared of trying something new and that's why he goes soft... how can i reassure him so we can lose this fear?

This should not be the problem you are trying to make it out to be. Just use the steps discussed, above, and incorporate them into your love making.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

... just remember, he di not make you orgasm; he happened to be your partner at your first heterosexual orgasm. Still important but your orgasms are yours and this indicates more about your response than about his performance.