Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the Index found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about.

> The problem is, once I ejaculate for the first time, whether its through hand job, blow job or penetration I lose my erection. It comes back maybe 10 minutes later but it ruins the mood and pretty much ends everything there.

Please read this article: ERECTION problems

It only ruins the mood because you do not yet know that it need not. Now you do. It is common for an erection to subside after an orgasm, be it from masturbation, Foreplay activities, and/or intercourse.

> I dont know if this is normal but I want to carry on. But of course, if I lose my erection I dont really know what to do... Specially if I was penetrating her and then I ejaculate and lose my erection.

What follows in boys and men is what is called our "refractory period" that varies from about ten minutes to half an hour depending upon age and "wiring". What we do is work around it for that period of time--meaning, we continue kissing, cuddling, Necking and Petting in order to keep our engines reved up. So, that said, just fall back and continue to fool around and make out until your erection returns. What fun!

> If I masturbate, I can keep the erection for a little bit longer after ejaculating and if I try to continue masturbating I can manage to keep the erection but not as erect as before (more flacid).

This is because the act of stimulating ourselves does not arouse us to the degree making out does in the presence of a partner.

> My question is (or are), is losing the erection after ejaculation normal ?

Answered.

> Can I do something to prevent this ?

No. This is a normal response.

> And after ejaculating while penetrating my girlfriend what can I do to carry on? Even if its not penetrating? or to make her carry on because I think she thinks that once I've ejaculated and lost the erection its done, and I want moooaaarrrrrr :P (even though I cant do much since im not hard)

Answered. The two of you should read every article listed in the Index, discuss what you have learned, and add the information to what each of you already knows. Knowledge is empowering.

> After those 10 min or so (if im turned on obviously) I can get a good erection again and I take longer to ejaculate.

Yes, this is also a normal response. Again, depending upon your age and "wiring", you may be able to climax three to half a dozen times right out of puberty, then shortly thereafter, maybe three times a day, or so. Normal, is whatever is normal for you as an individual. After you reach your maximum, your body will simply refuse to respond and you will have to wait a day or two in order to fully recharge; although, you may be able to have a climax after just a few hours.

Each subsequent climax in a string will be more difficult to attain. There are techniques to make triggering subsequent orgasms easier and I'll leave it to you to find the article and read up on this.

> Another thing that annoys me is that I would like to last longer but I guess that comes with time right ? Or I could do some PC exercises too... idk thats not my biggest concern atm, but if theres something I can do to last longer please tell me as well.

Answers to these and other questions are in the articles listed in the Index. Read them with your girlfriend, explore, learn together in partnership. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page, you will find even more information! knowledge that both of you need to fully appreciate what you want to do. This is the "why" behind this site, to pay it forward.

Afterward, if you have additional questions, not clarified or addressed in the articles, please do not hesitate to ask.

-doc

Hey Mr. B and welcome to the wonderful world of sex. Like doc says, it's quite normal. I was also the same way with my first partner. But please know you aren't pigeon holed into being unable to maintain an erection and have to face the music.

As for lasting longer, you can try extended pleasure condoms or other quick remedies, but imo these serve to lengthen sex by detracting from the pleasure. I would highly suggest against a cock ring, as it should be used as a temporary firmness enhancer and not a blood trapping solution. You can lengthen penetrative sex by simply changing positions! Even that small break can be enough to simmer arousal. Pay attention to your arousal, if it's building too fast, well then, just slow down... or change the depth of penetration! EEK's program is great for lengthening both non penetrative and penetrative sex. Also like EEK says, there are ways you can practice and get better. The practice methods IMO, although requiring the most time investment, provide the largest benefit; because unlike extended pleasure condoms, it will actually enhance your sexual pleasure and abilities.

While doc mentions that you cannot prevent the refractory period, you can prevent your loss of an erection. As EEK mentions, edge play is probably your best bet and is the most commonly referenced method to improve erections and multiple orgasm ability: because it WORKS! I utilized it and it has worked wonders for me. I suggest you thoroughly explore further research. As edge play can also refer to dangerous sex practices, use the key words: Stop and Start (method). Read as many articles as you can and put it to good use!

I wrote a detailed play by play in applying the stop start method from experience and incorporating many primary sources. Please forgive me as it is long and sloppily written. I wrote it while rather intoxicated and in the wee hours of the morning. In that mind state I simply vomited what I could recall all onto the page. Hopefully you still find it helpful:

http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing-her/30850-finish-right-continue.html

Please find and read and then do The Program found elsewhere in this forum. Your refractory period can easily be accomodated into a longer sexual interlude.

Also it is possible for you to not lose your erection upon orgasm if you don't ejaculate. It is the ejaculation and not the orgasm that causes men to lose their erection. Orgasm is the flexing of the pc muscle while ejaculation is the forceful release of sperm - while the two coincide, they are not inseparable.

But this requires massive amounts of work and self-control on your part and you will have to practice to attain any mastery over the process. The technique is called Edge Play and involves getting closer and closer to orgasm without going over the edge to the point where you can have the orgasm while shutting down the urge to ejaculate.

Please remember that sex is not just about inserting your penis somewhere hence The Program and that after age 40 you'd better have more skills in your arsenal than just inserting your penis.

If you know it is coming back in a few minutes and she knows it is coming back in a few minutes, what is the problem?

All men require a refractory period during which the penis softens considerable (in most). Some, especially in very young men, are barely noticeable; other are much longer. Ten minutes is not bad.