:confused: I'm not sure if this is the right place for the question I have or if maybe its already answered somewhere else - probably not. Either way, I apolgize in advance.
I have never received oral from a guy (or a girl either lol) and I'm really starting to wonder about it and also to think Id really like it! OK so is there a question in there? Not yet. Hang on lol. I dont have a boyfriend or anything like one right now.
So, but: I looked at some online personal type ads and there's this one I really want to answer but I'm scared to death. :eek: Or maybe I'm just really excited or maybe being scared is exciting - I'm not sure. :rolleyes: Anyway, when I think about it I feel kind of tingley and weak. The ad is from a guy (duh) in the "casual" NSA (no strings attached) section and he just wants to do oral. Well it says some other things too lol, which make me think i'm interested in answering - among other things - such as I already was thinking I'd like that anyway. The ad says I wouldnt have to do anything more or different unless I decide I want to - which I don't think I would, but who knows lol, which os actually OK.
I mean if I get so excited I decide to have real sex with him I'd be OK with that, even though that's not what my plan is, so don't worry about that. BUT on the other hand - A. I don't know the guy AT ALL ... B. He's kind of old - OK really old like almost 50 ... C. I'm kind of shy but maybe that's why its a good idea?
So - should I?
More stuff I thought of because you will probaly ask it:
1. I am 19. Just. I am going into sophmore year in college.
2. Right now its summer vacation and Im at my parents house (boring!)
3. I've only had one REAL boyfriend - last fall. I have had sex - with him (duh) but he didnt ever go "down there" and I didn't want to push him. Dumb! We broke up but not for anything that had to do with the sex part.
4. I can have orgasms from masturbating myself but it takes a while. I don't do it a lot but just sometimes. I never had a real real one from regular sex tho it felt really good lol! When I think about it I am almost sure I would have one from oral but I dont know why I think that really! Except that sometimes recently that is what a "fantasize" about when I "please myself" lol!:p
Why not look for a guy around your age to hook up with? If you are not interested, so he is 50, are you going to marry him? No. BUT what makes you certain you will find him sexually appealing?
Talk via e-mail, meet in public and get acquainted, if comfortable then do it. But you have to ensure your safety first, there are ways to do that too. What I cannot understand, you are 19, there has to be someone your age willing to be a FWB! You need a bootie call.
Just a side note I just thought of, you chat w/this guy who has a profile. All he wants to do is oral on you? Expects nothing in return? Yes, it's always your prerogative to say "no" at any time, but I find it hard to believe all a 50 y/o wants w/a 19 y/o is to do oral on her...
your to anxious is what the problem is, your wanting to experience it so badly that your settling for anyone. I am not trying to be cruel but this is how my ex was.
Me and her got into a sexual relationship when the point came to she just wanted oral all the time....I was just left there getting her pleasure and not being pleasured myself. Your in college, I am 22 and trust me and guy in college that isn't in a relationship will do anything you want sexually. You need to just start talking to anyone.
Since you are almost going with a 50 year old, sounds to me that your expectations in what he looks like aren't that high....again really not trying to be mean.
If you don't want to get oral from the college guy at the college your going to just go to a random college near you and walk around...a college guy will walk up and talk to you.
OK so I guess I did put that in the wrong place, so at least I was right when I apologized lol!
Thx for the answers.
>what makes you certain you will find him sexually appealing?
Thats a good Q. Im not. I'd even say I don't think I will. I guess I am figuring I wont have to look at his face :) J/K!! But really - I'm not the kind that gets all turned on just by looking at a guy I don't even know anyway - except maybe like Carson Daley or something lol - so it kind of doesn't matter.
That is - there are 2 real ways I'm going to do this:
A. Meet a really nice kinda cute guy somewhere, hope he's still interested later, hang around him, go out or whatever, turn into a boyfriend-girlfriend thing, get to the point of doing stuff AND THEN hope he is into doing it and has any idea how to
OR
B. Look for a random guy who at least interested and probably knows how lol.
A takes like anywheres from 6 weeks to 6 months - or 6 yrs with my luck lol. And I cant even start til I go back to school in A MONTH :( B takes 6 days or maybe even 6 hours lol!
OK, and - wheres this idea that college guys are all that come from? OK, i mentioned him being an "old" guy as a weird thing, but like sera said Im not going to marry him - that WOULD be weird - so why not? I guess it sort of matters but to be turthfull Id say a guy who is like 30 ould be best! Not 22! And I dont want to manipulate some dumb guy into doing something he doesn't want and probably wind up date raped. I might be inexperienced - compared to some - but I'm not dumb - and I have friends who are more experiencd than they meant to be if you know what I mean!
Anyways - sera makes some other good pts:
> All he wants to do is oral on you? Expects nothing in return? Yes, it's always your prerogative to say "no" at any time, but I find it hard to believe all a 50 y/o wants w/a 19 y/o is to do oral on her...
Yah, I thought of that. I guess he HOPES I'll want to do more. Like I said, if I do WANT to do more that would be OK - I'm not afraid of that. But it's a different worry what happens if I DON'T and he still does. But I can 110% guarantie that would be worse with a "college guy" lol.
> Talk via e-mail, meet in public and get acquainted, if comfortable then do it. But you have to ensure your safety first, there are ways to do that too.
This is the smartest part of all. Really - I'm so dumb - I hadnt really even thought thru exactly what to do if I do answer! But the way you suggest sounds really smart, and its easier to "make the plunge" if its kind of like a test jump lol.
I had not even thought about things for safety either. Just now I figured that I should have my cell phone AND should I have my friend call me at a particulr time? So if I don't answer she could do something I mean. Like I said I just figured that out but I know theres more I can figure out as I go - like knowing where we're going, driving myself there etc.
Ok Sylvia:
Look for someone about 28 max 32, no games & NSA. Or look for a FWB relationship out of it--you hit a drink or dinner but the main crux of your relationship is sex. I agree skip the College stuff for now, you want a sexually experienced man, not the one a beat from the nursing home...
Safety...number 1 is you. Always. Meet him in a public place on your turf out where you know people--if you have to (you run into someone you know) introduce him as your friend, end of story. You are going on a date & interview. Do not get alone with him, do not walk out alone with him. If he creeps you out for some reason, you go to any man working there & explain my date is having "an issue"...let the guy from the restaurant walk you out, never let this guy walk you out alone.
Yes, call a friend, have them know the time you get there & check in frequently w/her or him as specified intervals. Go to the ladies room to do this. If you can also get his license plate number, leave it w/your friend. I would meet during daylight hours. If you are not comfortable you stay put, let him leave, if he hawks around...call the cops if you need an escort to your car; yes, cops do this hook up thing too.
If you click you meet at a later time at a hotel never let him know where you live. Condoms are a must. Go on Plentyoffish.com, set up your own profile...no picture. You want to see them clothed, then you send them yours; if you chat & have an interest...intimate photos? I don't go there.
Be sure of what you are doing. Be careful above all. Put in your profile what you want...a friend & NSA. Be aware, you may get a married man responding who states he is single...it's the name of the game, not all are honest. You have what they want, let them come to you...Also, Get a hold of Evilevilkitten on this...she is good w/tips...or drop her a PM.
I cannot emphasize the need to be careful, there are freaks out there...
[QUOTE=sera300;191208]... not the one a beat from the nursing home...
No one can ruin your day without your permission...[/quote]
Now, hold on a second, Sera300: did I give you permission to ruin my day?! Speaking, that is, as someone who isn't quite 50, but rather more close to that than far away, and still a good few million beats from the nursing home.
Okay, I'll throw a slightly more charitable interpretation on your post, and agree that 50 -- or even "like almost 50" -- is awfully old for a 19-year-old (and vice versa). I'm willing to accept the "nursing home" crack as well-intentioned hyperbole.
Aside from that misstep, Sera300 is a font of wisdom and information, at least so far as I can tell (it's not really my area of expertise). Indeed, I'd suggest that some of the safety steps -- adjusted for the situation -- could be useful in more "ordinary" dating situations.
I am younger then 50 but older then 40! A 19 y/o with 50? I had to use the analogy, Nizeguy! Nothing personal, seems to me the majority of those I have come across dating the past year act as if they are ready for the nursing home, they act as if they are 80! At nearly 42, if I was to date or "meet" a 19 y/o, I would feel like a cradle robber! Other then the wild fantasy, really, does it not strike you as odd his age seeking a 19 y/o? And he just wants to perform oral on her? Nothing more? Sounds fishy to me. :)
Well, I'm 51, and there's no way I would want to do that with a 19 year old. It just seems wrong to link up with someone young enough to be my daughter. I'm only interested in women who are closer to my own age.
You haven't said if this guy is looking for someone around your age. Probably he isn't, but if he is, I'd have some serious doubts about him. You could get hurt.
Don't do it. Look for a guy nearer to your age.
[QUOTE=Sylvia;191186]I had not even thought about things for safety either. Just now I figured that I should have my cell phone AND should I have my friend call me at a particulr time? So if I don't answer she could do something I mean. Like I said I just figured that out but I know theres more I can figure out as I go - like knowing where we're going, driving myself there etc.[/QUOTE]
A cell phone? Well, at least that would probably help the police find your body... Don't rely on others to protect you - protect yourself. Get yourself a gun or a taser or a flamethower - ANYTHING that could potentially save your life when it actually matters. And have it on your person the entire time. Seeing as you'd probably need to take your pants off for this scenario, get a shoulder holster.
But is getting your rocks off really worth this kind of risk? Especially with someone this sketchy... Sounds like a potential Jeffrey Dahmer to me. You have male friends, don't you? I'm sure they'd all be absolutely delighted to have a "friends with benfits" type of relationship with you...
If she does not want to carry her .38, Capstun works well!:eek:
Just a thought. Perhaps it would be safer to chat with a lesbian around your age./location.