I've posted many a time stressing that my bf couldnt give me an orgasm/was stressing as he felt inadequate and blah blah. I've read countless tutorials and was about the conclude maybe i'd never have an orgasm by him, but the best orgasms come to the ones who wait as the saying goes.
1. My first orgasm via my partner was given fully clothed (!) I was just incredibly turned on then. Orgasm's about giving yourself over to pleasure i've discovered. You mustn't set orgasm as a goal and you must be totally and uttertly comfortable with what your partner's doing. You can't be fussing about whether you're gonna look stupid or you'll be pulling a weird face or whatever when you orgasm. you musn't be thinking about anything other than the sexual experience.
2. It helps to read up..i think my bf did some research and he's being more creative. he knows a lot more now and has invented a way of getting me off which i'd NEVER have tried as i thought my clit was too sensitive. it's a joint effort, but remember it is...yes i know you always hear it, but it is YOUR orgasm. your partner's there to HELP you not GIVE it to you. you create your orgasm by being in the right frame of mind, right feelings/emotions etc. and being with the right person at the right time.
anyway i thought i'd share my thoughts and hopefully inspire others who are having the same problem that i've been having. im aware that orgasms r kinda elusive for females, and im not expecting one every time we do something sexual, but its a step in the right direction and i think it's nice for others to know that they CAN have an orgasm and if you havn't yet, it's not something to stress over.
uncreativename
Very well stated.
Your observations about self are a confirmation of what I have been writing about nearly every week when someone asks about why s/he cannot climax as a result of what their partner is doing.
We do not give orgasms away. All any of us can do is to help our partner achieve his/her orgasm. To do this we need to be taught the techniques to do this. Of course we all know the basic mechanics involved in stimulating a penis or fingering a clitoris; however, what must be taught is the "fine art" that each one of us develops over time that is specific and unique to each of us.
It is important to provide feedback to our partner on how we are responding to his/her caresses. Without it all any of us can hope for is a 50/50 chance of being right on with what we do. With something so important, who wants this as a batting average?
With this in mind, I recommend showing each other how you masturbate and then to teach each other the specific movements, rhythms, and pressures that you require to build arousal and then trigger an orgasm. Take each other's hand and guide it in order to learn to mimic each other's method.