I'm a 31-year-old heterosexual male, and I'm a virgin. I have never so much as been hugged by a member of the opposite sex.
Growing up, I was often told by my female peers that I was ugly. And it's true; I'm not very attractive, and to compound my problem, I'm a rather small man; however in spite of this, I don't lack confidence. I don't think in those terms (usually). Neither do I have any outstanding personality flaws; I have no trouble maintaining friendly, long-lasting relationships with other males.
I have almost no standards. I don't care what my potential mate looks like as long as she showers regularly and isn't 300 pounds overweight. Politics, religion... personality... I honestly don't care. I do care about age, but as long as she hasn't reached menopause, it's fine. I can't think of a healthy woman I wouldn't sleep with and not enjoy. It's always been this way.
Yet every girl and woman - every one - I've ever come into contact with has rejected me.
This post is not a joke or a troll. I am 31 years old. This means thousands of ladies, maybe more. Don't you think I would be able to attract SOMEONE in all of this time? Even those I don't pursue?
Does anyone know what it's like to be so desperate for affection and never receive it??? And worse, at this point, know you may never? I may never be in a relationship. I may be alone forever. That's reality. I just have to pick myself back up and keep trying... Although I don't know how many more times I can do that. It's very hard and gets harder as time goes by.
I'm very lonely and often feel hopeless when not facing the world.
Right now, I've decided that I just want to get laid before I die, even if it's only once--for the experience. If anything, it will help me feel better. I don't care whom it's with.
My question is this: How do I go about finding a prostitute in a manner that won't land me in prison? I live alone, and the cost is not an issue. (If anyone has another idea, unrelated to prostitution, I'm open to suggestion.)
Im sorry about your situation. Although prostitution is not necessarily a good way to go about losing your virginity... I know first hand. I lost my virginity to some girl that had no morals whatsoever, I had sex with her and then I never saw her again. It was a horrible feeling to know that it could have been more special.
I suggest calling escorts, going to massage therapy places or even taking a visit to this website Bunny Ranch. You have to set an appointment and the girls there are 100% negative from any STD's or STI's. You dont want to have sex with a girl that possibly can have STD's. The bunny ranch is an excellent place to explore your sex life.
Good Luck!
We each have someone, or several someones, out there with whom attraction will be real. The most likely routes to finding her or him are probably through mutual interests. Whatever you like to do with your spare time, there are women, as well, who enjoy that activity. With a common focus, lots of things can happen.
You think you are unattractive. How many women have the same concern? That alone, with the interest you show each other, can launch a good relationship.
I'd like to continue off of what Brandy says...
First of all, define "ugly"... I don't think you can. Regardless of physical or personality traits, I'm sure that there are those out there "worse" than yourself that have found partners. To say you can't find a relationship for this reason is a cop-out.
I'd like to hear a bit more about what you've done to find someone. What steps have you taken? What do you do to try to establish a relationship?
I can tell you right off that your post has a certain desperation to it. If you are (and I'm betting you ARE) putting that vibe out there, then it's a big turn-off when it comes to trying to meet someone. The fact that you state "I have no standards" is enough to turn someone off. Do you think that women don't sense that?
Trust me when I say that you are worth finding someone that interests YOU. But you have to be willing to do the work. So, let's hear more from you... what have you tried so far?
Define ugly: I suffer from in utero facial deformations. I've had corrective surgery in the past, but I don't have a remotely "normal" appearance. I should have written this in my original post. It's definitely an obstacle, although I never stated it was the sole cause of my problem.
Your other suppositions are flat-out wrong. Your pseudo-psychology - forgive this term - is less than worthless. I won't detail every method I've utilized to attempt seducing women. I don't feel that's necessary, and it's probably moot considering the context of timeframe. I don't mean to be rude, but you're not helping.
As for Brandye, thanks for your concern, but you haven't told me anything of which I'm not already knowledgeable. I've had huge success, superficially, in electronic personals based upon mutual interest. Communication ceases after we've met in person. I haven't eliminated that option though...
Tsugi,
You have two of the most compassionate and insightful members of the board responding here. If we have not helped, I shall continue to try and suspect Oberon will as well.
You have given us new insight into your problem. All major hopitals have support groups for situations such as you find yourself in. They can be accessed through your physician, plastic surgeon or various counsellors. Other people will have the same issues as you and they will be of all ages, education and interests. I assume you are in the US. There are likely to be societies of the same sort we have here in the UK that provide a variety of support services, including social contact, within certain classes of people.
I cannot imagine my developing any deep relationship over the internet but I know they happen. If you meet a person over the net, meeting can be a shock - for many reasons including personal appearance. I would recommend local interest groups - boating, cycling, reading, model-making. ####, even gardening which I pay others to do for me! Common interests can overcome lots of other issues and the "problem" is up front.
As a last resort, there are prostitutes who specialize in men such as yourself. At least there are in Germany and the UK - not legally, but really. I am aware of physicians who have referred patients to prostitutes for a variety of reasons. I never have but I know most of the professional women locally and would not hesitate. Perhaps one of your doctors can help. Or a local policeman or other handicapped men. Concierge at posh hotels and even cabbies provide all kinds of services.
Oberon, I suspect, and I were looking for a potential for something more meaningful (and economical) for you. If this is still old news for you, sorry, but these are recommendations I have made to patients facing similar problems.
You didn't mean to be rude? Somehow, I suspect that you did. But, that's neither here nor there.
Although, your condition is more severe than I realized, my suggestions were all valid and still stand. Brandye has added to them with the special considerations that you have.
My experience (I'm not operating on supposition here) has been that no matter the circumstances there are those who will not only tolerate any physical condition, there are even those seeking someone displaying that physical condition. One of my past aquaintances was a couple, one of whom was pretty close to gorgeous, the other had terrible facial burning. These two met after the burns had occurred... so this wasn't a case of staying with someone you already loved. Now, these were gay men, but- also in my experience- women tend to be even more liberal and forgiving in what they find physically attractive. Otherwise, half the heterosexual male population would never date.
I'd suggest following Brandye's idea of finding a support group through a doctor or cosmetic surgeon for people with facial irregularities. I would believe that you wouldn't be dealing only with people who have an issue either... there will be those that don't find that issue a problem.
Good luck and take care.