ok i saw my ex (excuse my garmmar i only have one free hand currently) ok so i saw my ex and her new boyfriend kissing and i walked over to them and said to the boy "just think, those lips you're kissing were once merrily wrapped around my penis" and he gets this pale green look on his face, runs to the bathroom, vomits profusely and says he will never kiss her again unless she washes her mouth first.
I took the breakup pretty hard OOH SWEET SWEET REVENGE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA 
So what do u think?
yeah and I came up with it because I hated his guts (for those 20 something death threats in the 8th grade) and I was bored and already came up with a new physics formula for what caused the Big Bang so I was thinking "How can I make him pay?"
that was mean. but very clever.