I recently cheated on my boyfriend with a former coworker. The sex was great! or it may have been great because it was something different. I've stayed away from this person for about two months, trying to make things right with my man. I had a dream about my former coworker the other night. I dreamt that we were caught in the act by my boyfriend. My boyfriend was visibly upset in the dream. I thought that would be a warning sign to not see my secret lover again or else. Instead, I sent him a text message telling him how bad I wanted him and how much I wanted to see him. When I knew that he wanted to see me too, my heart started to race, my hands started to shake, and I wanted him more than ever. I thought that I just wanted sex but, I looked at my boyfriend and didn't feel the same attraction. I love my boyfriend and he is the person that I want to be with but, this man continues to haunt my sexual being. I've felt this way before. It happens about every three months or so. The longing for someone other than the person I'm with. My boyfriend and I have a very turbulent relationship riddled with problems. Being with someone else sexually is extremely refreshing. Could I be obsessed with sex? I think I am but, I need a second or third opinion
Fri, 03/25/2005 - 17:20
#1
Object of my Obsession
[QUOTE=Quote (fixation79 @ Mar. 25 2005,09:20)]I've felt this way before. It happens about every three months or so. The longing for someone other than the person I'm with. My boyfriend and I have a very turbulent relationship riddled with problems. Being with someone else sexually is extremely refreshing.[/QUOTE]
That portion of your post just about says it all and hardly requires further comment.
You have a turbulent relationship riddled with problems and find sex with someone else refreshing.
That's not an obsession with sex. That's a method of coping with the problems in your relationship.
Fix your relationship with the boyfriend and the sex will generally fall into place.
I agree that the urges will rise even when you're in the most healthy relationships, but I don't think that's the situation here.
By the way, dreams are simply dreams; our unordered world. They are not prophetic, they are simply energy flowing through our unconcious and irrational minds.
Well I don't think you're obsessed with sex. In long term relationships it's perfectly normal to have these urges. I admit I have them from time to time. I suppose when I was single the thrill of it was bringing someone new into my life quite often. The key is to learn to control these urges. It's perfectly normal to have them. If you want to continue this relationship then control the urges. If you don't even want to control the urges either consider a relationship and talk to him about it or end the relationship and have fun being single.