So I was wondering if anyone else could relate to my dilemma. I have never had a problem with stamina or endurance, the first time I had sex I lasted a bit over 30 minutes. I have always had this problem where I will just last forever, sometimes I can't even finish. I can only really have sex like twic a day at most, and then I just can't finish after that. It is really frustrating because my girlfriend feels like she's not doing a good job (but she always does), and I get frustrated after awhile. I eventually just give up, at which point I usually get kinda pissed and feel insecure. The other crappy thing is I'll get discouraged and start to think I wont finish, and then I begin to lose my hard-on. So I guess I want to be able to finish every time and have sex more times per day, succesfully. Most times I wont be able to have sex more than once a day, but once in awhile my girlfriend and I will just spend all day in bed, and go at it over and over again. I want to be able to do this succesfully. It's funny because most websites and message boards try to help guys last longer, but I need the opposite.
Thu, 12/02/2004 - 16:40
#1
Not worried about lasting longer
its been a while since someone has responded to you but I am in the same boat. when I get oral sex then I can feel the sucktion but there is no pleasure just her sitting there. and sometimes sex can be the same thing. I put my own thing on here and its the same as yours.... man I should have looked but I thought that I was alone on this topic. when I masturbate yeah I can finish in what is considered a normal time frame. and when I have sex I have to concentrate on kepping my mind blank and not worry about finishing. if i do think about it then I will never finish. and I quit cause I get too tired. and if she takes over then its just the same, I have noticed though if you refrane from masturbation then the sensation gets more. try not masturbating for about a month and a half or two months (yeah torture) and see if that might help.
Well, I'm a girl, so I don't know much about this. But, when I masturbate, sometimes I have the exact same problem -- I can't get off. I'll be lying there, pleasing myself, and random thoughts start popping into my head, that are entirely non-sexual. It's times like that when I'll take almost a half hour just to orgasm with a vibrator.
I can orgasm very quickly if I relax my mind, and sort of think to yourself "This isn't a contest, I'm doing this because it feels good... wow that feels good, I'll keep doing that..." etc. So, maybe when you're having sex, try to concentrate on how good it feels. Focus on the pleasure you're having at every moment and not on the climax.
Another suggestion is to have your girlfriend say certain things to you... like she could coach you through the thought process in the above paragraph, asking you "Does that feel good? How good?" etc. I know my boyfriend responds well to that. He also responds well when I say his name
but I only say his name once... I kind of wait and build things up with other vocal noises 
, and then say his name. That makes him cum pretty quickly. Maybe it would work for you? Just some things to try...
I don't really get off to blowjobs that easily either. But my girlfriend really wanted to give me good head. She'd be going down for over an hour, get frustrated, start going faster and deeper, then gag and I'd feel kind of guilty about it. Then one day I realized that if I just start thinking about stuff I'd masturbate to and get myself really worked up I could cum easier.
Now my problem is that she enjoys giving blowjobs more than I enjoy recieving them, and she'll have me so worked up over foreplay and blowjobs over 7hours I can't get it hard enough for actual sex...
no problem, there'll be more opportunities for actual sex. But do you guys have that problem? Once it's up, it's up until you tell it to go down. After you've cummed a couple times and being naked next to her, her going down on you isn't as exciting as it was 7 hours ago.
the condom may be part of the problem. there were a couple of times when my ex and i started without a condom, and i'd have to pull out within five minutes or so for fear of cumming, get a condom and get back to what i was doing. but after i put the condom on it just didn't feel nearly as good. after one of these times i thought "there's gotta be a better way" so the next time i was looking at condoms, i saw the "Trojans Ultra-thins". i think i had looked at them before and decided against getting them because i thought they'd be too flimsy and be more likely to rip, but according to the box they're just as strong as normal ones. so i tried them. they gave me more feeling than normal condoms, and that's all i've used since.
[QUOTE=Quote (vagabondprince @ Dec. 02 2004,10:18)]oh, so twice a day isn't enough for you?! (j/m)
anyway, i can't help ya dude, i have an even harder time orgasming from sex than you do. i'm curious, are you able to orgasm from handjobs or oral sex? and how fast do you orgasm when you masturbate? i have never orgasmed from oral or a handjob, but i have absolutely no problem when i masturbate[/QUOTE]
I don't have too much of a problem when I do it myself, maybe I just do it too often? I have NEVER been able to get off from oral sex, although I can say that my current girlfriend seems frighteningly good at it. I think I have a hard time relaxing enough to finish up because I never really liked it before. I've found that wearing a condom absolutely sucks though, my ex girlfriend was on the Pill and that was a lot of fun and I then would sometimes have a problem having to slow down so I wouldn't finish too soon. Maybe I'm just not all that sensitive? I don't know I probably do just get distracted but anyone who reads this probably already knows that some habits in bed are hard to break. I guess I just keep thinking "Well, I've already gotten off once today I doubt it'll happen again" and then I give up. I guess I get distracted, and then discouraged very easily.
oh, so twice a day isn't enough for you?! (j/m)
anyway, i can't help ya dude, i have an even harder time orgasming from sex than you do. i'm curious, are you able to orgasm from handjobs or oral sex? and how fast do you orgasm when you masturbate? i have never orgasmed from oral or a handjob, but i have absolutely no problem when i masturbate
Hmmm. I'm a woman, so I cant give you that much insight, but I think I might have some ideas. First of all, do you masturbate often? This could affect your ability to get plaesure and orgasm from sex. Also, perhaps you are distracted while having sex? If youre thinking about something other than what you are doing, it may be harder to come. However, if you are thinking too much about wanting to come, you may be making the situation worse. I hear people telling guys that come too quickly to relax and not think about it. This advice can probably apply to you too. So, the best thing I can say is, perhaps masturbating less often could help, and relax when youre having sex.
Perhaps some guys could give a little insight here?