i've only recently begun having sex a few months ago - i lost my virginity to this guy and haven't slept with anyone else since, but he started having sex a few years ago (but only with one other person). the first dozen times or so were fun - i wasn't anywhere close to orgasm, but i still enjoyed myself and i know he did too.
the last few times we tried, though, it didn't work out so well - we'd be fooling around and he seemed into it and had a full erection, but then when it came time for intercourse his erection seemed to soften and we couldn't get it inside of me. is that normal? it didn't go away all the way but we'd try to work together to make it happen. sometimes we could get it in, but it would slip out after having sex for awhile and we couldn't always get it back in. i tend to get fairly wet so i wasn't sure if it was a combination of issues, but is there anything i can do to help? since it's happened a few times i'm not sure if it will keep happening or not, and i know he's a little embarrassed about it - he says it's his fault and not mine.
has this happened to anyone? is there anything i should try?
thanks so much! i tried to find things on the forum about this and didn't, but if i missed any links feel free to share them. :)
Well, it is his problem and depending upon his age, it may be in his head or in his 'head'. Which is something he needs a doctor to find out.
Many guys get anxiouis about their ability to perform, whether she orgasms or not, and they tak responsibility to such heart that they get discouraged. This leads to more and more anxiety until erections become non-existent. The more he worries, the less he can achieve.
There are other ways he can help you orgasm but orgasms are yours to achieve. He can help stimulate but unless you permit yourself to orgasm you won't. I recommend an extended period of body worship with both hands and mouth. Taking turns doing this for eachother.
With the pressure off of him, he may find it easier to overcome the loss of erections.
it is probably nervousness and the more he worries the worse it will be try to establish what the problem is that causes it he could be worrying about something that is not his to worry about
It's no reflection on you! I think there is an epidemic of men who are having difficulties and from this board the majority are younger. I can deduce one thing; it has to be anxiety. The older guys here take it in stride; their attitude is, it happens once in a while & it's no big deal.
Since IT has evolved, information is available and easily accessed; thus, "perfection" in sexual techniques are emphasized & pleasing your partner is reiterated. Years back, the best we could do was "muttle through". The majority of sex info. was snuck through either your parents "Joy of Making Love" books or through the grapevine.
The culmination of all the above has increased knowledge and I believe tampered with self satisfaction b/c of the focus being on pleasing your partner. In ways it has caused performance anxiety--an unintended consequence of increasing awareness. Additionally, the taboo of sex is becoming obsolete.
Love those older guys! That 'taking it in stride' is very attractive!
ima 13 year old male, take my advice i am a child but i have concerns.
forget and ignore this guy, he is not right in the head by the sounds of things and sounds like he is a junkie...
you sound like you have a nice life ahead of you..good job maybe ull get married have kids dont waste it on this pervert and dont have anything to do with him.
[quote=guyguyguy;173769]ima 13 year old male, take my advice i am a child but i have concerns.
forget and ignore this guy, he is not right in the head by the sounds of things and sounds like he is a junkie...
you sound like you have a nice life ahead of you..good job maybe ull get married have kids dont waste it on this pervert and dont have anything to do with him.[/quote]
From reading your threads your lack of understanding of sex and relationship issues are evident. Perhaps have some knowledge on subject prior to posting such wacked opinions. Read through the threads and learn.
[QUOTE=guyguyguy;173769]ima 13 year old male, take my advice i am a child but i have concerns.
forget and ignore this guy, he is not right in the head by the sounds of things and sounds like he is a junkie...
you sound like you have a nice life ahead of you..good job maybe ull get married have kids dont waste it on this pervert and dont have anything to do with him.[/QUOTE]
And who the hell are you, evidently you can read the minds of people you don't even know the names of, she has a great life ahead ? I never saw any sparkling evidence of that in her post and just because a guy gets nervous does not mean to say he is no right in the head, have you had sex ? have YOU never lost an erection ?
omg sorry people i posted the wrong thing on the wrong topic im sorry.i ment to post it on another thing
I think that this is nobody's fault :O i believe it could be something with his body so ... he must go to see a doctor :/ make sure he knows you`re being supportive, he'll sure appreciate that :B
Most males go through a “soft stage” once in there life and it has nothing to do with you
Support him through this time because I am sure it is affecting him more than you , believe me it is not due to the fact that he is not turned on by you
:p
ok well it could be a few things maybe you could try different positions or try different means of foreplay. when you try to put 'him' in you may not be wet on the outside so that could make it go limp. make sure the opening is wet aswell as inside.
don't try to force it in. that will only annoy it and thus making it limp..
try using lots of lube or get really wet before hand.
like i said it should fairly much glide in, if not then either its not wet enough or maybe a bit of fingering is required.
Like said do not try to force it hard into the hole as you will only hit the top of the wall and thus you will make it go limp...
happy humping!