Well as long as it isnt an all the time thing, than its okay...I love going down on my girl, and i dont even need anything in return...except it definitely is nice:p...I wouldnt suggest letting someone get you off, and then leave them hanging all the time...teasing is fun...but do it too much, and you cant expect your partner to keep it up.

I'm apparently alone in this view, but the whole "tit for tat" (if you will) notion of oral sex seems really weird to me. For one thing, it seems to be based on the notion that the person doing the mouth side of the thing is engaging in a chore. Besides which, the whole notion of a measured exchange just seems wrong ("Wait: I touched the head of your penis with my thumb eight times, and you only touched my clitoris with your thumb seven times!")

- If you enjoy doing something (and your partner enjoys having it done): go for it.
- If you don't want to do something (and your partner wants you to): see if you can learn to enjoy it.

I agree with Ducy, i was kind of in the a situation like that, and the only time my girl wud go down on me is if i asked her (which made me feel like she never wanted to do it). but we talked about it, and everything is fine now, maybe u should discuss this with your boy friend...communication is the key to everything!

hey you know if your worried about the whole not returning the favor just try 69...that way you get yours at the same time..and if he stops then you stop, so he doesnt get his before you.

don't do something to get something in return.
she might not like doing it to you.
i didn't like it eather, but i love seeing and hearing him enjoy. i love to see him desire for it, almost begging with his eyes.
you have to take it slow if it really is the fact that she doesn't like it.
maybe play a little game or something.....

[QUOTE=Cristaline;190977]don't do something to get something in return.
she might not like doing it to you.
i didn't like it eather, but i love seeing and hearing him enjoy. i love to see him desire for it, almost begging with his eyes.
you have to take it slow if it really is the fact that she doesn't like it.
maybe play a little game or something.....[/QUOTE]

Very true...I dont do oral on my girlfriend to get it in return....truth be told I do it cuz it drives her wild and i love the taste and the feel of her legs around my head...oh man:rolleyes:...ill be back in a bit

Making love (or having sex) with someone is something you do as a couple; you try to give each other the maximum pleasure. If oral sex is important then you should discuss it. If one person has no interest, then only you can decide if you are happy without it. Only you know if you are sexually compatible.

The one point not discussed is whether or not she is ready to reciprocate. If she is inexperienced or has a lack of confidence, self-esteem, is shy or timid, then these conditions make it difficult or impossible until they are resolved.

Expecting tit-for-tat is just selfish, juvenile, and, negative. Any guy in this situation would be wise to learn about the female psyche and how it differs from ours. Sera and Spoon make the point I regularly do about discussing and communicating. Do this at a time when the two of you are not about to get it on and then in a manner that does not feel threatening to her. You are after answers not trying push her. If she is unwilling to discuss this with you, then operate under the assumption that she is shy and timid with regard to her body and maybe her image.

If she is "open" to letting you explore with your fingers, then one approach that often works over time is to continue to make out using your fingers and hand(s) and then following right behind with your lips and tongue. Work up to moving ever closer to her crotch over time--several sessions. If she stops the progress of your lips and tongue, continue on without interruption with our fingers. As she becomes more comfortable with your face near her private parts, you will find that your face will get ever closer.

This is the same strategy we often apply when approaching a person's breasts in the early stages of a relationship. You just don't rip her clothing off and grab on; rather, you brush a hand over them in passing while fully clothed, and later, begin undoing buttons or pulling up her top; over time as things move forward, you continue the caresses through her bra, next slipping fingers inside; then unfastening it letting it dangle before removing it altogether, and so on. These actions may take several dates to get there and the same goes for her becoming ready for more intimacy down below.

Good points Doc regarding the need to communicate. However, the poster (as I understand it) he is enjoying giving her oral, she is enjoying having it, yet she will not do the same for him.

Which is why he needs to discuss it with her if he would enjoy the experience and find out why she does not like doing it or is it just fear of the unknown?

OOPS. Thank you, Sera. I read but did not see.

As for returning the favor, she may not know how, so communication would clarify the issue. She can then read how-to articles.

If she believes giving oral also means having semen in the mouth and/or swallowing, then education is key, here, also. Oral stimulation does not automatically mean ejaculating in the mouth. Oral often stops short of this with a guy climaxing inside or on one or the other's body somewhere.

So, I think, Tra, you should find out just what her feelings are on this. She may just lack information on technique, or, she may have (mis)information on what is entailed, overall. If taste is a concern, then this is connected to not having you ejaculate in her mouth. Based upon what you learn you can then formulate a plan.

There is of course, the possibility that people seem to be avoiding. I'm going to say it (And already feel like a bastard for being the one to raise it)... But it's always possible she's selfish in bed. It's not hugely uncommon, although it's usually a complaint I hear levelled against men.

Of course, communication is again key. Firstly, to find out whether she's interested in oral but lacks proper understanding, finds the idea unpleasant (which is understandable), or if she just doesn't care about your pleasure.

I agree completely with NizeGie, by the way - As long as everyone's happy, there shouldn't be an issue. However, in a situation when you're doing something to make them happy, it seems reasonable that your partner should make efforts to make you happy. I don't necessarily mean at the same time, but if your entire relationship revolves around her pleasure at the expense of your own, you have to ask yourself if that's acceptable to you

Yes, one half of the couple should be able to receive pleasure without instantly reciprocating. But they shouldn't be able to receive pleasure without ever reciprocating. It doesn't necessarily have to be in the same way (As anyone who's in a relationship with a fetishist would be able to tell you. Having a taste for being peed on doesn't mean you should pee on your partner if they're not into it ;)) but some effort should be made to keep the relationship equal.

[quote=Xanthion;191024]There is of course, the possibility that people seem to be avoiding. I'm going to say it (And already feel like a bastard for being the one to raise it)... But it's always possible she's selfish in bed. It's not hugely uncommon, although it's usually a complaint I hear levelled against men. [/quote]
This is always a possibility which many over look...it's not just men but often women who feel just letting a man have her is enough without doing any work--her mere presence is enough! I hear this from some of my male friends who encounter some of these ladies! If the couple is young which I believe here, they need to communicate.

I think the joy of sex is mutual. If i love to receive a good oral i think i should return her a good oral too (of course if she likes to receive oral). Sex or making love can't be selfish, if i want to enjoy i have to return her also a good pleasure. When i see her feels good i feel good too.

Of course can happen that some times just she gives me oral and i don't, and sometimes i give her and she doesn't, but these are occasional situations only, so we just have to forgive it and don't put this mistake in heart.

it would depend on why you are giving her oral in the first place. are you doing it in order to recieve favors from her in exchange or are you doing it because you want to? if you do it because you want to/enjoy it then she owes you nothing.

i never go down on my guy as "payment" for things he's done to me or to be nice or polite. i do it because I want to.

[QUOTE=Sugarbandit;192684]I think the joy of sex is mutual. If i love to receive a good oral i think i should return her a good oral too (of course if she likes to receive oral). Sex or making love can't be selfish, if i want to enjoy i have to return her also a good pleasure. When i see her feels good i feel good too.

Of course can happen that some times just she gives me oral and i don't, and sometimes i give her and she doesn't, but these are occasional situations only, so we just have to forgive it and don't put this mistake in heart.[/QUOTE]

Ummm....bandit i dont see the problem with occasionally giving or recieving and not returning tha favor...in reality it shouldnt be seen as a favor...i do things for my girlfriend and if se gets me back yay if not im not gonna be angry or look at it as a mistake for making her toes curl and not recieving the same treatment. there have been countless times when my girlfriend would give me oral or a hj and then not let me do anything back. why? cuz some days i have a really high sex drive....sometimes i do the same. do we take it as a mistake...no...were just happy to see each other pleased.