Of course you two can meet in the middle. But expand your idea of 'foreplay' for example: recalling the incident mentioned in your post, what do you think she was thinking about during her drive home? SEX. Of course she was and her thoughts were a kind of mental foreplay. What were you thinking about while you were waiting for her? Again - more mental foreplay.
Since you're the 'slow-starter' in this relationship, she should take on the role as 'stimulator' by a phone call here, a text message there, a note slipped into your lunchbox? - to begin this mental foreplay. After the first 'play period', then you can take over. Use the afterglowing refractory period to do the physical foreplay you're more used to - gradually increasing the length of time and varying your techniques as you two go along.
What will happen is you two will find a balance and mutual understanding that you will both find perfectly suitable.
> I figure if I can keep showing her how much fun it can be to do other things than intercourse, it might loosen her up a bit. I just don't want her to think of sex as a chore. She has told me that is how she used to feel with him.
You found a great solution, congratulations.
The only thing I would like to add to what you are already doing is to devote no less than half an hour to just fooling around (necking, petting, heavy petting) before getting down to the foreplay of genital and breast involvement. Do this a few times and I have every confidence that she will see how beneficial all this is to building her level of arousal, anticipation, and excitement--not to mention how this affects you!
She fires up quickly and you, Doc, think this is a problem that needs curing?!?!
Wow! Think of all of those guys who have to work hard for hours to get her just loosened up enough to consider having sex!
Guy - you have a marvelous woman who is making it easier on you - be thankful!
> Fast forward to the present. As you can imagine, having a "normal" relationship is somewhat new to her. Things are really good between us, and the sex is great. The only problem that we seem to be facing now is that she doesn't particularly care for foreplay. Since she is used to having to be able to perform immediately, she always wants to get right down to business. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't.
>Now with her, I have trouble because sometimes, I'm just not ready. It gets to be quite embarassing, that she gets ready to go, and I'm not hard yet.
> > She fires up quickly and you, Doc, think this is a problem that needs curing?!?!
This is not all about her, rather, about the two of them and giving him the needed time to become aroused. The benefit of devoting more time to making out is that she and he benefit together to a much greater degree or intensity.
me and my bf are similar, i get horny and want to go, he needs to be "preped" what he like to do...and of course i dont mind at all:D , is start by giving me a soft massage...with my chloths off and him touching me all over my body it gets him stimulated and it relaxes me. Also, i like to "play" a little with my mans penis (he has a small penis so i think it makes him feel good that i like to play with it) but when i get frisky and hes not ill just start stroking his penis untill he gets hard. Usually i do this out of the blue and i dont do a full hand jod or blow job, for hes not really into that but me stroking him gets him excited. Maybe the two of you could try one of those before sex to help you out, but she wont lose intrest.
Of course you two can meet in the middle. But expand your idea of 'foreplay' for example: recalling the incident mentioned in your post, what do you think she was thinking about during her drive home? SEX. Of course she was and her thoughts were a kind of mental foreplay. What were you thinking about while you were waiting for her? Again - more mental foreplay.
Since you're the 'slow-starter' in this relationship, she should take on the role as 'stimulator' by a phone call here, a text message there, a note slipped into your lunchbox? - to begin this mental foreplay. After the first 'play period', then you can take over. Use the afterglowing refractory period to do the physical foreplay you're more used to - gradually increasing the length of time and varying your techniques as you two go along.
What will happen is you two will find a balance and mutual understanding that you will both find perfectly suitable.
..........................
> I figure if I can keep showing her how much fun it can be to do other things than intercourse, it might loosen her up a bit. I just don't want her to think of sex as a chore. She has told me that is how she used to feel with him.
You found a great solution, congratulations.
The only thing I would like to add to what you are already doing is to devote no less than half an hour to just fooling around (necking, petting, heavy petting) before getting down to the foreplay of genital and breast involvement. Do this a few times and I have every confidence that she will see how beneficial all this is to building her level of arousal, anticipation, and excitement--not to mention how this affects you!
So do both and she should be cured. Good luck.
She fires up quickly and you, Doc, think this is a problem that needs curing?!?!
Wow! Think of all of those guys who have to work hard for hours to get her just loosened up enough to consider having sex!
Guy - you have a marvelous woman who is making it easier on you - be thankful!
EEK, it would appear that you miss my point.
> Fast forward to the present. As you can imagine, having a "normal" relationship is somewhat new to her. Things are really good between us, and the sex is great. The only problem that we seem to be facing now is that she doesn't particularly care for foreplay. Since she is used to having to be able to perform immediately, she always wants to get right down to business. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't.
>Now with her, I have trouble because sometimes, I'm just not ready. It gets to be quite embarassing, that she gets ready to go, and I'm not hard yet.
> > She fires up quickly and you, Doc, think this is a problem that needs curing?!?!
This is not all about her, rather, about the two of them and giving him the needed time to become aroused. The benefit of devoting more time to making out is that she and he benefit together to a much greater degree or intensity.
me and my bf are similar, i get horny and want to go, he needs to be "preped" what he like to do...and of course i dont mind at all:D , is start by giving me a soft massage...with my chloths off and him touching me all over my body it gets him stimulated and it relaxes me. Also, i like to "play" a little with my mans penis (he has a small penis so i think it makes him feel good that i like to play with it) but when i get frisky and hes not ill just start stroking his penis untill he gets hard. Usually i do this out of the blue and i dont do a full hand jod or blow job, for hes not really into that but me stroking him gets him excited. Maybe the two of you could try one of those before sex to help you out, but she wont lose intrest.
You're the one who used the word 'cure', doc.
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