To make it completely cleear...Stress Kills Desire.

Women are more nuanced persons than men, generally, and it may be difficult to pinpoint precisely what stress is the locus - in fact, you may not even consider that particular streeor important, but to her, it may be.

She sounds like she to too worried and stressed to relax.

Spend time doing as advised previously...the medical but before you begin arousing, help her to RELAX - steamy hot shower followed by a massage - works wonders and then you can move to arousing and onto body worship etc and so forth.

thanks for info

Ducy touched on what I often find as the problem--arousal.

I also agree with Brandye's recommendation for a complete workup. She needs to eliminate what are not problems, and to establish a baseline.

As for making out, how much time do the two of you spend actually Necking, Petting, Heavy Petting, all before getting to the Foreplay stage?

If your answer is less than half an hour then you are rushing. Men can be aroused and UP for action in a matter of minutes, not so for most women most of the time. The two genders are "wired" differently and if you are not devoting at least this amount of time, longer within reason, if desired, then she is probably not sufficiently aroused.

Next, intercourse should begin only when each of you are at or near the brink of a climax. Too often nowadays, guys operate under the misguided misconception that the best way to an orgasm is from lots and Lots and LOTS and LOTS of stroking and thrusting. WRONG!

My recommendation is to evaluate how the two of you make out and make these necessary corrections if necessary. There is an entire section in the Index on how to make out. I recommend that the two of you read these articles.

-doc

Kegels may help; may do nothing. They are recommended because a toned body, any part, functions better than a flabby body.

All women, and men, go through tides or cycles with libido. May just be part of a cycle but the link you post indicates diagnosis and treatment.

I think you answered your own question.

She has to be extremely aroused.

Or maybe its not even being "extremely aroused" its just that she has been having trouble getting mentally there. I know days I am stressed, I am usually going until my gf (well ex) was sore. Why? Because physically I was hard but mentally I was stressing over my diet or workout plan, trying to solve money issues etc.

Common enough to have a name: Secondary Inorgasma (as opposed to primary which means never capable).

Causes could be many: physical trauma (including childbirth); psychological factors such as you have identified; physiological factors that have upset the endocrine system (eating disorders are often in this category).

In short, can be rather complicated. Start with a full gyn exam and then, as indicated, therapy with an appropriate sex counselor. Most gyn doctors can make a recommendation.