So, I'm in a long-term relationship with this young (she's 16, I'm 17, male obviously) girl and, unsurprisingly, she doesn't get pleasure from sex. Surprisingly however, she doesn't get any sexual pleasure at all from anything we do ("anything we do" meaning fingering, oral sex, penetration, to name a few). Is this natural? Could it point to an ineffectiveness in the sexual activities we engage in, or is it simply a matter of "unreadyness" (that is, she's not mentally prepared to recieve such pleasure)? Perhaps it's a matter of technique (I'm not perfect but I'm quite positive I'm getting the methods right)?
I apologise if this question or a similar one to it has been answered already, it's been a long while since I visited these forums, please have some forgiveness for the newb. :o
Does she masturbate and reach orgasm? That is important! And the mind is the most important sex organ in the body so she better be in the mood. Go into the section married and longterm relationship and look at "the program" and "body worship" to know how things should be done. Also make sure you know the main 4 hot spots she has and ask her what other areas she wants attention.
She doesn't masturbate, no, and she doesn't reach orgasm either. It's very easy getting her in the mood but getting pleasure into her is another thing entirely. Thank you very much for the advice, I'll act on it ASAP.
There is an unknown rule when it comes to sex.
"We are responsible for our own"
Simply put, it is not your partners job to MAKE you orgasm. Its your partners job to achieve their own orgasm and to aid you in reaching yours. I mean if she can't do it herself then how can anyone expect someone else to do it?
She has to connect her hardware (body) to the software (brain) in order to make orgasm possible. How she does this 'connecting' is to masturbate to orgasm by herself. This is the normal feminine process - nothing unusual about it.
Please have her read the various threads (see below) in this forum - it will help her understand what's going on.
Listen to EEK on orgasms. One thing many guys don't understand early in their sexual 'career' is that for us (females), orgasms aren't automatic like they are for you. Our bodies literally have to learn how to do it.
But your original question was about pleasure, not specifically orgasms. Bear in mind any possible negativity of attitude toward sex she may have been brought up with. It might play a role in all of the above.
But the short answer is, no, it's not that you're not good enough at it.
Well, Int, I wouldn't go that far. He is only 17 years old so how much could he really know?
But you're correct in that as far as this issue goes - "it isn't him".
[QUOTE=ArcticWolf;271153]She doesn't masturbate, no, and she doesn't reach orgasm either. It's very easy getting her in the mood but getting pleasure into her is another thing entirely. Thank you very much for the advice, I'll act on it ASAP.[/QUOTE]
In addition to the other sage advice, I recommend that the two of you read each and every article listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen, either together or separately, discuss what you have read, then add the information to what each of you already knows. Knowledge is empowering.
I believe the two of you will benefit by learning how to arouse each other physically as well as mentally, for how long and in what order, why it is important for a girl/woman to learn how to masturbate, plus more, more, more.
What do you know about the processes of Necking, Petting, Heavy Petting, all before getting to Foreplay? What do the two of you know about initiating a love making session, more specifically planting the seed of an idea for later? There is much for you to learn in order to become a world class lover. There is much for your partner to learn and understand about her body and how to be a full partner in your love making.