im 17 years old. i am in good shape and i might not be prince charming but im not "ugly" so to say. no acne, braces, bad hair. i have a car where most of the people i know don't and i have the money to acually spend time doing fun things instead of walking around in the abyss of my town. i even play bass guitar in 3 local bands that play shows at clubs. yet i have had pretty much no female contact my whole life.(unless handshakes count lol). i kissed one girl for about 2 seconds sitting about 5 feet from eachother. later i found out it was more because she felt bad for me. then i noticed all the girls i liked either liked another guy or had a boyfriend. these guys treat them like total crap and they are always crying yet they stick with them. im a really nice guy who would do anything for my friends and even those who i don't know. i try to smile all the time and i never bring others down. so pretty much i have a large portion of what girls want except im not an Ahole, im a nice guy. why do women always throw the guy who will love them away for the dick who just wants to get in there pants all the time. i have tried talking to many girls and have asked a few out. they lead you on then they poop on you. why is this. does anyone else have this probleme? im so sick of hearing the phrase "it will happen in time". its been 17 years and by now i should have got atleast a make out session huh? tips please?
Sun, 05/06/2007 - 06:23
#1
nice guys finish last...
Perhaps you are looking at the ones with a underlying poor personality, ones who are not into you, or the ladies have not gotten their heads on straight yet? It takes some "kicking around" before they figure out the nice guy is the good one. Perhaps you are trying too hard? Do you strike up conversation with women and a conversation which is not self-centered?
Try to be a bit indifferent to them and see what happens BUT are these the ones you really want? I think it takes time to find someone really great and perhaps your standards are higher then other men? There are women out there who appreciate a great guy, looks are not 100% of the entire package and not what we need. Maybe try dating a woman slightly older then you.
I'd take an average looking man with a good personality any day over a great looking one with a mediocre personality! Even if he had braces!
Don't change who you are and do not settle.
honestly you do sound like the ideal guy - actually you sounds like my boyfriend whom all my friends are jealous of lol
but girls are like dogs - they can sense fear in a way - and if you geeking out about getting a girl, she's gonna think you're not ready to handle her and that'll turn her away.
i have a guy friend who's 17 and hasn't kissed a girl yet and we all tell him it's because he tries too hard.
focus on school or guitar and the rest should fall into place! good luck!
[QUOTE=JFAC;177330] im so sick of hearing the phrase "it will happen in time". its been 17 years and by now i should have got atleast a make out session huh? tips please?[/QUOTE]
It took me 25 years to find a woman who was actually ready for the "nice guy". I know how much it sucks, and I know that you are tired of hearing "Wait for it , because it will happen". But that's what's going to happen. Just chill, it'll workout. Desperate, is a very ugly look, on even the guy with everything going for him. Besides, do you really want to be with the type of woman who wants to be treated like dirt, or one that will treat you like it?
Like Sera said, a lack of confidence = repugnance, and any signs of this will turn a woman off. And the truth is, some women are attracted to douchebags, it's no lie. I have even tested this, while using the "treat whores like princesses, and treat princesses like whores" mentality, which does in fact work most of the time. Some women presume that cockiness = big peepee; I've seen over and over again women getting beaten and abused by *******s just because they're an inch bigger than average, and they have such low self esteem that they thing they can't do any better. Fortunately there are enough level headed, decent women around for us nice guys, just be patient you will find what you are looking for eventually. Having higher than average standards is a double edged sword; I know from experience. Don't settle for anybody.
that is exactly how i am, only i dont have a car......actually you took every single word right from my mouth......every girl i like just either hate me or pitty me. im so sick of all the girls i care about are going out with complete dogs for boyfriends.....im a nice guy. but oh, nice guys finish last......i hate my life.....
ya. im not being picky or atleast i don't think i am. the girls im after are just the ones who are intersted in what i am and respect/take care of themselves. by the way i love this website. its like a bible for us lost souls. you'll probabley hear more from me lol.
Trust me at that age many women do not have their heads screwed on straight! They usually hit reality when they turn 21...
Nice not always last
Sometimes nice comes first with no runner ups
Sometimes we all just have to look what is inside people
Not playing the field also contributes to your outlook on woman building a better character in you. When you do fined the right girl they will see the side of you that they at this stage cant see, carry on you will come out on tops in the end of the day with no regrets
Check this out, it will do wonders for you and will explain everything about the jerks.
David Deangelo is a genius and legedn in the dating industry.
www.doubleyourdating.com
This little book (free!) will explain why the jerks get the girls and how to act like a man, but not like a jerk, but not like too nice of a guy like you are acting.
trust me!
the essence is that jerks get girls because they come off as incredibly confident and cocky through their attitude, which incredibly attractive to women. its not that nice guys are nice, its that they treat women like goddesses and tell them how beautiful they are and so and so. You have to find a balance between a jerk and a super nice-guy.
I also recommend Carlos Xuma's stuff. Though its a bit more expensive.
Are you a puppy?
Do you bend to the will of the girls, always beeing sweet and nice, never saying what you may really feel or think, just to please them?
Some guys are just too nice. They give me the creeps. I don't feel like I know them when they're only pleasing me, never telling me their honest opinion. I want to KNOW them and no person is JUST nice. We all have good and bad sides. If I want to be with a guy I want it all, otherwise it's just an illusion.
Be a gentleman, but be honest. Don't just please girls, if they treat you bad - tell them. Stand up for yourself, then you will gain respect and that is a major turn on.