Identity After Marriage

[ShadesRuda]

I just caught Kristen Armstrong on Oprah talking about marriage. Surprisingly, I found myself agreeing with a lot of the things she was talking about so I searched for this article by Kristen herself;

http://us.glamour.com/features/sexan.../060501kristin


I just felt like I had to post this somewhere where women will see it. Now I'm not saying every woman is like this, but I can definitely see myself in the situation; I've been experiencing anxiety attacks stemmed from the fear of losing my identity due to a man in my life. I've been so focussed on being the perfect wife that I lost all vision of who I was. I've been working at getting myself back, but I didn't realize it was something other people experience. (I will be quick to emphasize what Kristen has that it isn't the man's fault, in my siutation, as well as hers, the change has come from an internal desire to be that perfect person for HIM, not by his request, but by her idea of how it should be.)

Women beware; don't change who you are, your dreams, your desires, your independence for a man. Kristen comments that she changed for Lance, but the woman she changed away from is the woman he fell in love with, not the woman she turned in to. I think we need to be aware of that.

[batman527]

This is a great post. Thanks Shades

[Brandye]

What a wonderful post, Shades!!

In the last few days there was a thread started on this board's bias toward traditional marriage. It did not feel comfortable. I hope the thread starter reads this. Should give him better perspective.