First Time Having Sex

[Paint_Baller275]

Hello all,

I am 16 and thinking about having sex. I am going steady with my gf and we have discussed having sex before. I was just wondering, do you guys think that is too young? Also, can someone tell me what the first time's like? Does it hurt, what it feels like, etc... Thanks.

[Brandye]

This is "In the News?" What papers will cover the event?

I know more people and have seen postings here that more people wish they had waited longer rather than started sooner. Remember birth control is control and not prevention; nothing is totally effective. Makes the monthlies a real concern each cycle.

[dancingdoc2]

During the early and mid teen years, regardless of maturity, I believe it is too early to have intercourse. Intercourse should be something that is reserved for a longstanding relationship; moreover, the longer a person holds off, the more it is appreciated and the better the experience can be.

Very often boys your age may say "I love you" and while you may have deep feelings for the girl, more often than not guys will say and do anything to get into her panties. Sex for teenage boys is more often than not, all about getting your rocks off with little or no consideration for the partner. I'm not suggesting that this is true of you, although, I believe you should reflect upon the matter.

Intercourse is not the be-all, end-all of sex. It is great, yet quite often, a good job of oral and hand stimulation will be more intense and pleasurable. Intercourse feels good, but it is the psyches that feel really good rather than the genitals. For this to come together for a couple, you really must age (read: mature) into the experience. Oh, sure, you can have recreational sex that includes intercourse but it's just not the same. Sex is much more than a physical experience and most teens simply do not get this.

When they do get it, as Brandye states above, they say they wish they had waited. Better me thinks for a pair of young horny teens to fool around up to the girl's/woman's limit or boundary and stopping short of actual intercourse.

> Also, can someone tell me what the first time's like? Does it hurt, what it feels like, etc.

Oh! some things in life simply have to be discovered. What fun is it for something so profound and important if you know what to expect. I could attempt to describe what the experience will be like, although, it would be like trying to describe the color blue to a blind person; besides, I've already given you a great answer, that being that a well delivered hand and blow job is much more intense.

Will it hurt? The answers are, yes, no, and maybe.

It will likely be uncomfortable for the woman, although this depends upon whether she has an intact hymen, the size of the penis, the resiliency of the vaginal opening, etc. It is rarely painful for a man, although if he is having trouble entering the back pressure against the shaft of the penis can be uncomfortable.

> Also, can someone tell me what the first time's like?

Nope. The reason why is because each match or paring of a man and woman is different. What happens is all based upon individual experiences, accumulated knowledge, expectations, angst, likes, dislikes, worries, whether the guy is gentle and caring or a clumsy oaf and so on and an on.

[champloo]

i may not have asked the question, but that answered a few things for me, so thanks doc

but one thing. do you think it is alright for a teen to tell his girlfriend that he loves her if he really means it? not much of a question i just kinda wanted to know.

[ponch]

Hey, I need some help.

I am seeing this guy, and although he wont ask me to, he totally wants me to give him head. I have never done it before and I don't want it to be akward or anything, and I REALLY wanna do it. I've never had sex before, and he is 11 years older then me so he is more experienced. Anyway, does anybody have any tips on how to not be totally lame and akward???? I NEED HELP!!

[champloo]

damn...11 years older?

i might be able to help you with this one....

find a private spot, or a comfortable one. maybe not a bed, but like on your/his couch watching a movie. not so out of the ordinary, eh?

then maybe (im just suggesting here)as you are 'watching the movie', start to feel him a little...you know, not like rushing for his penis, run your fingers softly up and down his back/legs/chest (if you are on a couch, be behind him so you can wrap your arms around him and do this), basically, just let him know you are there, want something, and that you are looking/playing around (maybe get more familiar with your dude's body).

afterwords..... slowly work your way to his penis. by then, if he hasnt figured things out already, he should, by then, know what you are after...but anyway, then, maybe feel his crotch a little bit...fiddle with his button/zipper (what ever keeps his trousers together) and slowly bring it down/apart...

then.... maybe toy with him some more, like as you unzip his zipper, zip it back up and then continue rubbing his crotch...then perhaps slowly pull off his shorts/pants whatever, until he is left with what ever undergarments (boxers, briefs, etc.) on him...then do the same with the undergarments as you did with the shorts....until you've got his penis in open view...

then, either mess with his crotch somemore (rub his scrotum some, the area around his crotch, maybe the penis itself) or go right for it, and start giving him head.

im just giving a suggestion, unless you like it, id wait for better professional help (demonbuttercup's on, she might give you better help)

but i must note, if my gf did that to me...it would make ME go CRAZY...im already going nuts as i re-read and edit it..

[Macaframalama]

good hints champ, also whisper in his ear how great he looks and how horny he makes you

[champloo]

o yeh, that too...

im just giving ideas/advice. this seems to be what most people suggest anyway, the rubbing around, and the slow action of taking off his garments.

[Brandye]

If you are in your thirties, 11 years does not matter. If you are in your teens, this could be bad news.

[adam]

Originally Posted by Brandye

If you are in your thirties, 11 years does not matter. If you are in your teens, this could be bad news.

The world "jailbait" comes to mind. If you really do want to have sex with this person, check with the local age of consent laws. Although I'm highly suspicious of this person's motives (what 26 year old wants to be in a relationship with a 15 year old?), chances are you could land this person in a heap of trouble if you get caught. Even if you are over the age of consent in your area, if you are under 18, having sex could still be construed as being manipulated or intimidated by a person in a "position of trust". This person's life could easily be ruined even if no charges are laid. Word spreads fast in small towns, and that person may face physical violence. I'm sure most men would be in agreement with me that if they found a 20-something guy anywhere near their teenage daughter, then that 20 something guy had better know how to run.

EDIT: Read the above knowing that I put aside the little voice in my head that is screaming "That guy's a freaking pedo!".