Ian Kerner On Understanding Male Sexuality

[Doodlebug]

Feb. 14, 2006 - Valentine’s Day can be a lonely time for singletons. But it seems many couples aren’t feeling the heat either. Dr. Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author, first set out to change that two years ago with his book, "She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman." But take heart, fellas. His new book "He Comes Next: The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man" (Regan Books) is all about you. Drawing on his experience counseling couples at his private practice in New York City, Kerner argues that male sexuality is far more complicated than we’ve been lead to believe. NEWSWEEK's Pamela Hamer spoke the author to find out why. Excerpts:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11333378/site/newsweek/

[wifey]

Quote:
Is fantasizing ever harmful? 
There are plenty of couples who can enjoy porn or erotic literature together. But if you are both going off on your computers to engage in Internet fantasies as a way of avoiding the fact that you’re not sexually contented in your primary relationship, then that’s not healthy.

i enjoyed the article and there might be some good stuff included in the actual book. just interested, how many here actually use books as reference to enrich their sexual experience and knowledge?

my boyfriend the other day happened to see couple of books, on sexuality and how to improve and enhance sexual experience, that i have in my collection (not that i was hiding them!). he had a mixed emotion on his face, he was half pleased half pazzled as to why i would have such literature. but i don't see anything wrong in putting knowledge into plactice, my biggest fear is expressed in the quote above.

what does eveyone else think about it...?

[constantlylearning]

Wifey, does the quote have any validity to it in your situation? About the interent I mean.

[wifey]

no not really...but it's just one of those things that one might feel insecure about...
i definately don't have a problem with intrenet, i am a memeber of this group. but i do feel that there is a lot of stuff out there that can drive a couple apart, and intrenet is one of them. my biggest fear is that "he", in my case, will get sucked into a fantasy...i know it's stupid and very unlikely

[constantlylearning]

Well nothing is stupid if it bothers you to the point of thinking about it a great deal.

[wifey]

thanks for your support mate!

[constantlylearning]

No sweat!! You behave ok Wifey.

[hippyfreak]

i defenatly read (books articles, internet) to learn new ways to have fun/pleasure my gf. and i look at porn on the net, mainly when she's not around, but sometimes when she is. i dont think any of my fantasies get between us cause i tell her about them. the one thing i wonder about all the porn out there is how different would my sexuality be without ever having seen some of the stuff? case in point the long discussion on "cumming on her." sure i might pull out if i was with a girl without protection (yes i was irrisposible in my younger days) but would i love cumming on her face so much? i dunno