First of all, punctuation, grammar and spelling are not bad things.

Ok from what I gathered you want to “pull your life back together.” You want to start dating more.

You said you go to church? Or did you stop going in 2003? I couldn’t tell from your run-on sentences. If you still go to church that is a great place to meet women. Look around the place is flooded with single women. In fact I would even wager your Sunday school classes are divided by maternal statues (they are at my Brother’s church).

You go on a lot about your Mother. You are taking care of her now, correct? And some how this is keeping you from having a life? How much time do you spend taking care of your Mother? If you are spending too much time taking care of her perhaps it is time to find a good retirement home for her.

Financially, if you can, find your mum a nice home. Some of them have very good intensive care facillities. This wont limmit the time you can spend with her, it just gives you a break and relieves you of most of the responsibilities. You dont sound as though you feel obligated to take care of your mum and it sounds like you really love and care for her.

Dude, your sexuality is your preference. You make it sound like youre not intresed in making the effort to date a woman cause its easier to get your sattisfaction from a man"which it probebly is" But dont choose to go BI just cause you want it now. Very few men go down the gay road and turn back. There is so much to gain from having a monogamous intimate relationship with a beautifull woman.

I think its great that you go to church,as stormtrooperdude says theres loads of single woman that go to church. Maybe you havnt innitiated a relationship with a woman cause you feel bound from taking care of your mum and you dont think itll work. So first make sure your schedule is freed up before looking for a date, youll even feel less pressured.

I hope you come right.

> since I am not getting to do anything sexualy with anoter person can the pnet up felling and emotions be overwhelming

Perhaps. It all depends upon how you are "wired" and what you tolerence is for stress. Masturbation in and of itself will generally keep your body from becoming "overwhelmed"; however, maintaining an even keel emotionally and psychologically is another matter. The world is full of single/divorced/widowed men who are living celebate lives and they get along just fine, so one would surmise from this that so will you if things continue on as they are.

> want to at leaast get more sexual active or atleat date more often .. I even found oeace in reasoning of going back to being bi and a chirstian sicne I have a "open" tolerant based ideal veiw of sexaulity..

What is your church's stance on this issue?

The suggestions given by others to become more socially active within your church is a good recommendation--if your church has single women and activities that bring people together.

If you want male companionship, then you will have to look to the personal ads.

> it may be contrary but even in prayer (of mind and in the spirt (pentacostal) I know what I might be off or wrong by others but being a charged sexual personality perosn on the inside that keep most of this part of his life from his family.. And only cling to a GODly promise of one day being a husband and father

You might consider shopping around for another church; one with a larger sense of community and a purpose that melds better with your philosophy.

> I have no one close I can talk to ,,

You need to place yourself in situations in which you can meet others. Begin by telling family, friends, and coworkers that you are available and are looking for someone to date. Having others network on your behalf widens your horizons. Next, join a hobby, sport, or special interest group in which you are likely to find women participating. If you want to be seen, you have to go where the people you want to see you are. The funny thing is, this works in reverse.

As for living arrangements for your parent(s), you will generally find three levels of care facilities in the U.S. The first is an independent living facility in which residents have separate apartments and who share a common dining and living room and have nursing and kitchen staff 24/7. These facilities can cost between $1K and several thousand dollars/month. The third is a skilled nursing home/convelescent hospital that take people who are often indegent and more often than not, mentally impaired. Residents share bedrooms and common areas. The third is a level of care between the two.

If you live in the U.S. you may have to look for a suitable care facility up to a hundred or so miles away, depending upon where you live. You may also have to arrange your parent's finances so that they use up their savings or somehow have it transferred so that it does not show up. You will need the help of an attorney specializing in financial planning to assist with this. When the state pays for their care, residents are only permitted to have pocket change amounting to only a few dollars/month.

Do you have relief help so you can go off and have some time to yourself? If not, you need to arrange this for your own sanity. There are businesses that provide care givers. You can also check with hospitals to see if they have a listing of independent care givers. I recommend that because you do not have to pay an overhead fee to the business supplying the caregiver. You will probably need one other fulltime person and another part/full time.

If you are not yet ready to place your parent(s) in an care facility, then I strongly recommend that you get some help from two or more caregivers, be they independent or contracted through an agency. Check hospitals, nursing homes, and churches for referrals.

I hope this is of help.