self confidence

[upyourmatey]

hi im 16 and im really struggling for self confidence i have had a good night at a party tonight and there was this girl very nice and she liked me then all of a sudden my mate jumped in with confidence im annoyed because i sruggle to discuss. and find confidence is there any help please

[dancingdoc2]

Try doing a site search using one of the two search engines and the term "confidence" or "self confidence".

Self confidence comes from having several small successes. Added up, these successes can really work to bolster a person's sense of self, worth, and, confidence.

Act your way to success. Just like an actor or actress in a movie or play, act the part of the person you wish to be. Doing this enough you should find that your actions will become second nature and a part of you.

Do not be afraid of failure. Learning something new means you may not always succeed. Don't be critical of yourself. If the failure happens in front of someone, apologize if necessary, and let it be known you are learning.

"Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead!" As I tell my dance students, do not go to a dance to dance because for a guy with a fragile male ego, it means he has to "perform"; rather, go to a dance to practice. Practicing means we are free to make mistakes, then pick ourselves up and continue on all the while learning and becoming better. The same holds true for developing self confidence. Next, if you feel good about yourself and who you are, then let this show through for others to see. If you are shy, fix this aspect of your personality, first, using the same technique.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[upyourmatey]

wonderful doc thanks

[EvilEvilKitten]

Tell your mate, in the loudest voice you've got

"HEY BACK OFF, BUDDY! I'M WORKING HERE! I FOUND HER FIRST, WAIT YOUR TURN! JEEZ, LAST TIME I BRING YOU TO A PARTY."

Got the idea?

The man "poached" and you let him get away with it. Even if he does end up with the girl, you should make him pay for his impudence.

You should also stop calling this guy "your mate" because he is NOT a good wingman and he's not your friend - not if he behaves like this.

Also, if the girl goes for him she's not worth your time. A lady would have told him "Sorry, but I'm talking with ___insert your name here__." Enough said.

[dancingdoc2]

The idea behind "acting" your way to success and confidence is to change your behavior by doing small acts and then relishing in their successful completion. Your tasks can be anything--including talking to others. One additional purpose is to bring a smile to your face with each success.

A word of warning, however; do not adopt a cocky attitude or an arrogant attitude in the process. Doing so will remove any hint of success in the eyes of others.

A confident person is one who in part stands tall and straight, makes eye contact with others, smiles, asks questions in order to learn, does not monopolize a conversation, listens well making mental notes of what is said, and, periodically uses people's names in a conversation with them, having a masterful handshake (no hurtful squeezing!). Thank people for compliments received. Give compliments when deserved.

Do you really lack confidence? You might ask others what they see in you. While you may not feel very confident, this does not mean other people see you as you do. Ask people for their feedback on how they perceive you then use this information to develop your personality. It may just be that you will only have to change minor aspects instead of making a major overhaul. Either way, acting your way to success is one way to begin.

When talking to women, one great approach is to ask a opening question and then listen. Many women are chatty creatures by nature, so you can often carry on a conversation by simply asking a leading question and sitting back and listening. Next, by interjecting a comment or question, the conversation is revitalized and will most likely continue--all with little effort on your part.

When the time comes to talking about yourself, do not tell all, all at once. Pay it out over time. Save some information for later, or, another date or two. (Keep her wanting more....)

If a person rudely joins a conversation or a gathering or comes between you and another person, quietly and politely inform the individual that this is either a private conversation or meeting, and now is not an appropriate time for his/her involvement. If, on the other hand, you need or want to talk to someone who is occupied, wait for a pause and quickly ask if you can talk to the person, later, when they are not busy.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?