Little Help?

[Phroop]

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years and have, obviously, had sex a few times. However, it is really hard for me to ... well ... finish. we have tried stimulating the ciltoris while having sex and that seems to work pretty well. But I was wondering if there is maybe another I can climax without that extra "help."

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. If you click on the site's Home page you will find even more information.

> However, it is really hard for me to ... well ... finish. we have tried stimulating the ciltoris while having sex and that seems to work pretty well. But I was wondering if there is maybe another I can climax without that extra "help."

It is important to know that very few sexual positions place a woman's pieces-parts in close constant contact with a man's pubic mound in order to generate the required friction. What a caring, knowledgeable, man will do is to reach around and finger the clitoris and labia while stroking away.

There are illustrated animated sexual positions you can look at off the site's Home page. Try some with the above information in mind. The most ideal position for a woman is the Cowgirl or Woman Superior position because this places you in complete control over your responses and places your vulva in constant contact with his body.

In addition to the above, is making certain you are adequately and sufficiently aroused prior to engaging in intercourse. This is the why of all the fooling around and making out we (should) do before ever getting to the foreplay. There is more on all this in the Index, also.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[Brandye]

Look for stickies on female sexual response or satisfaction. The reality is that one-quarter of all women never, or rarely experience orgasm; on-quarter commonly reach orgasm through penetration and thrusting. That means that about half of us usually require some sdded stimulation to reach orgasm. I am in this group as you have been. You can get there but with a little extra effort. This can also vary by partner. The various angles and movements are more critical for women than for men. With the penis contained within the vagina, the man is getting needed stimulation. That is not necessarily so for us.

Recognizing that the so-called ideal of simultaneous orgasm is rare - extremely rare - one of you will come first. There is an entire movement called "ladies first" that calls for the man helping the woman reach climax and then move on to the male partner.

My favorite sex book is The Joy of Sex. It has many good ideas for eaach helping the other and is fun to read together. So, perhaps adjust your expectations beng relieved that you are in the orgasmic group and then practice with some goal not necessarily being your currently held ideal.