it doesn't enter

[den2k]

I have commented an article saying almost the same things because i had the idea of asking in that moment, now i write in a better place (here).

Me and my girlfriend are trying to have a sexual intercourse but my penis doesn't enter in her hole!! This would be the first time for both of us, we tried many times in the past to have a complete intercourse (we're together by three years) but we encounter the same problem: my penis stucks at the height of the glans and cannot go any further. W've tried different positions, even those which grants easy penetration but we cannot procede.

It often happens that she is very wet, i can put two fingers whitout problems but not the penis.

I don't believe I have an enormous organ, I only have to be careful to choose condoms with nominal diameter superior to 54 mm. The dimensions are (if it can help you to help me):
* 17 - 18 cm long in erection, depending on the sexual excitement
* 60 mm of diameter at the glans
* 54 mm on the stick.

Can someone help?

[Brandye]

Perhaps. There is a condition known as vaginismus in which the muscles surrounding the vaginal entrance involuntarily contract. With some women, this even precludes the use of tampons. This affects 1-2% of all women to the point of preventing intercourse. There is speculation that many more women are affected to a lesser extent but slowly overcome it.

A problem is that each time you fail the greater the likelihood you will fail the next time as well. Do a google search on vaginismus. Caution: just read up on it; do NOT order any the books or programs or self-help stuff advertised. It is next to useless. If this describes the condition she is experiencing, seek help from her gyn doctor or a qualified sex therapist.

[newforu454]

wow i've never heard of this b4 ty 4 the post and i do some looking aswell.

[VanellaSchnella]

Try to give her a good long massage of the hands feet and back..make her feel comfortable and relaxed..be sweet to her..then after a good massage gradually increase the amount of sexual tension with teasing and talking a little dirty. Begin a make out session that last for at least 30 mins then progress to necking alternating with making out and feeling her up.. after a while of this begin feeling around hur pubic region..lower belly inner thighs and such.. tease it..try to get her going..try to get her begging. Dont quit the making out necking and feeling up... eventually start gently rubbing her vaginal area while still making out and feeling up with the other hand. its time to start removing more and more of both her and your clothes.. continue the making out necking and feeling up.. she should be pretty wet by now.. get your finger(s) wet at the opening w/o inserting and start to massage her inner lips and clitoral hood..your going to need to know if she likes direct clitoral stimulation or not..be very gentle though..us men tend to get a little rough sometimes. Find out if she likes it fast or slow up and down side to side circles or a combination and change of pace... try to give her a clitoral orgasm.. if you are successful she might not be able to continue to make out..and most girls clit gets very senstive after this. continue to feel her up and neck her and possibly insert a finger into her vagina... when she is able resume the making out. Continue to touch her vagina minues the clit... try to find what she likes you to do with a finger or two inside of her and try to locate the g spot.. read all the stickies and articles on this website about it.. dont stop the making out feeling up necking etc.. eventually her clit will be ready for action again.. continue to finger her with one or two fingers and work your way towards eating her out... read the stickies and articles on that too(aka cunnilingus). Try to find out what she likes with this and try to give her another orgasm by eating her out while caressing her g spot with your fingers. After this go back to the necking and making out (may have to wait a few) and feeling up... after doing this for awhile resume fingering and try to work it up to 3 fingers while playing with the clit if its ready...be very careful when trying to get more fingers in.. take it slow and spread her wetness around..get each finger individually wet first... if you can get 3 going start to eat her out again if shes ready.. do this for a while but only til shes close to another orgasm. Then put on your condom and have a good water based lubricant ready... its almost time to try. Put a good amount of lube in her and spread it around and then after your condom is on put it all over your penis and now its time to try. Take it slow..dont force it and try to make sure she is comfortable and relaxed. If you have any questions go to the home page and type in the topic of your question and there is most likely an article or sticky or both about it with your answers. Read EEKs sticky The Program. I hope this is helpful and good luck.

Sorry for my lack of formal grammar. It was written as the thoughts were coming to me; a stream of conscioussness if you will.

[EvilEvilKitten]

After checking for any and all medical conditions, consult the sticky posts entitled The Program and Body Worship. After reading - do that.

Use lubricant on your non-lubricated condoms and never buy lubricated condoms.

[den2k]

I'll look for vaginism symptoms and I'll try the sweetest method: I admit I left it behind after the first ten or so trying, but maybe now it will work better due to the improved practice and intimity we have.

Really thanks and please, continue suggesting me if something else come up to your minds!

I'll try lubricants, I didn't believe I might need tehm. Only one question: will I need the lubricants everytime or is it possible that i'll need them only the first times?

PS: sorry for my total lack of grammar, I'm not soexperiencedwriting in English.

[EvilEvilKitten]

The question is not whether you need them, but that she might need them. Sex is to be enjoyed by both partners and you should therefore try to reduce any discomfort to make sure she enjoys sex and not just endures sex.

[Brandye]

DAMMIT, LISTEN: You could be dealing with a deep-seated, involuntary condition that gets worse through failure. Vanella is not a sex therapist. Evil properly opens with the admonition to check for medical conditions. Women who suffer vaginismus get worse with failure. All women should have gyn exams BEFORE becoming sexually active. It is time to for her to see a gyn and explain the situation.

She may "want it" in the greatest way but cannot take it. Increasing desire with failure at the end is the worst thing you can do.

You are doing very well with your English. Try translating this: Serious condition.

[VanellaSchnella]

Originally Posted by Brandye

DAMMIT, LISTEN: You could be dealing with a deep-seated, involuntary condition that gets worse through failure. Vanella is not a sex therapist. Evil properly opens with the admonition to check for medical conditions. Women who suffer vaginismus get worse with failure. All women should have gyn exams BEFORE becoming sexually active. It is time to for her to see a gyn and explain the situation.

She may "want it" in the greatest way but cannot take it. Increasing desire with failure at the end is the worst thing you can do.

You are doing very well with your English. Try translating this: Serious condition.

I never said I was a sex therapist and I don't know a thing about vaginismus. Obviously you're the one with a medical background. DEN2K: Listen to Brandye; but I wouldn't completely forget about what I said if you find out she doesn't have vaginismus or another condition.

[den2k]

VanellaSchnella: I'll try your ideas first, because they're far more common than vaginismus. I also have past experiences of health-problem-panic, revealed as fakes. Just for information, my gf was afraid to be anorgasmic because after 10 months of oral sex she never did come, we were sort of brought down by this fear, you know how it turned out? She didn't have orgasms for the first 5 months because she wasn't totally relaxed,and the latter 5 month she regularly had - but she didn't recognize them because she never did alone and never talked with friends/mother.

Brandye: I'm not saying you're mistaking, I'm telling that I'll search for the natural and common way before bashing my head against a possible disease - it's common doing things wrong, less common having diseases that obstacle correct doing.

With that said, thanks to all of you for your kind answers, I'm always open to other suggestions!