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Old 10-04-2009, 02:20 PM
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Wink Loosing virginity to fwb..?

Am comfortable with the guy, and foreplay is...wow.

Basically part of me wants to hold on to my virginity, and the other part is soo damn horny, that justs want's to have sex. I don't want to regret loosing it. I figure my fwb will also just get frustrated if we only foreplay (but isn't preasuring me or anything).

I am almost 18, he is 21, what do people think?
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Old 10-04-2009, 03:02 PM
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well its hard to say,
i mean from my point of view at my age now, i would say wait, just because i know how special it is.
and from my point of view back then, only7 years ago, i would say no matter what i say or anyone else, your going to get into a heated moment with your FWB and YOUR the one who will have to make the choice.

do you want your first to be with just a FWB or do you want it to be with someone your in a relationship with. if you don't want to have sex with him right now, than take a step back and just don't fool around anymore, play with yourself instead
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Old 10-04-2009, 03:46 PM
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You want to hold onto your virginity - WHY? What's the point? Does ignorance have a value? Sex is not special and the first time usually sucks because both parties are usually 'unskilled labor' and spend most of their time fumbling about wondering how this works. No, the sex is just sex. What's special is the relationship, if any. Relationships are always optional. Lust is fine on its own if you're prepared for sex. BCPS and condoms are mandatory.

BUT - ALWAYS

If you want sex, then have sex.
If you don't want sex then don't have sex.

It is YOUR choice.

Last edited by EvilEvilKitten; 10-04-2009 at 03:52 PM..
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Old 10-04-2009, 03:54 PM
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Methinks every question posed so far in this thread, no matter who has asked it, has roughly as many possible answers as there are readers of the forum.

In the end, OP, you must do what feels right for you. Evaluate that carefully before you make your final decision.

Last edited by lnt1103; 10-04-2009 at 03:56 PM..
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Old 10-04-2009, 04:25 PM
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Unhappy

Thanks for posts so far.
I guess you are right...I have to make this dessision my self at the end of the day. I'm just kinda indessicive. It's like I have a virgin an whore inside me who are constantly at battle :S I dunno who should win lol.

In an ideal world, I guess I wanna loose it to somone I love...but I have figured the world is not ideal. I think it is a general thing with me that, I seem to seperate flirting, sex etc, with feelings and love. Have never had a long term relashionship.But I guess that is another issue =/

I would like to continue things, but just do everything but I guess. Would this just be frustrating for the guy? If so, I guess it means no relashionship, no sexual acctivity
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Old 10-04-2009, 04:45 PM
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I think you're confused about what you want, looking for something to explain away your desire to go for it, and choosing a frustration issue for your FWB, which you're dreaming up because he's never expressed it.

The thing about FWBs is, there are supposed to be no strings. The limits are yours to set. So there's no reason to care if he gets frustrated with it. If he can't respect your limits, you can find another FWB who will.
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Old 10-04-2009, 06:15 PM
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Two things to think about:

1. Are you able to deal with the consequences
2, Are you able to leave him alone without strings after it's happened,

I personally lost mine in what was supposed to be a one night stand. I didn't regret it at all, and it's ironically turned into an amazing relationship. This is the exception, not the rule. If you enter into a FWB relationship, know that it will end at some point. If you're thinking of doing this because you like the boy and want him, you're wasting your virginity (EEK is going to kill me for that one :P). Never do anything for a guy that you can't reverse (at least at your stage in the friendship).
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Old 10-04-2009, 06:29 PM
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Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people write in about. Additional information is available off the site's Home page.

Quote:
Originally Posted by springfever View Post
Am comfortable with the guy, and foreplay is...wow.

FOREPLAY: The Prequel and Sequel

It is nice to know that you are in tune with one another.
Basically part of me wants to hold on to my virginity, and the other part is soo damn horny, that justs want's to have sex. I don't want to regret loosing it.

I recommend reading several of the articles listed in the Index including this one:

What Can I/We Do To Prepare For First Time Intercourse?

I am almost 18, he is 21, what do people think?
Only you can determine if and when you are prepared and ready for any step in life. I do not recommend doing something is life altering without first thinking about it from all angles. Basically, if you have questions, then you are not ready for intercourse.

I figure my fwb will also just get frustrated if we only foreplay (but isn't preasuring me or anything).

I do not understand what you mean. How can the two of you make out in all of its various stages and you not be pleasured "or anything"? You need much more information on the art of making love and therefore, I urge you to continue reading until you have digested all of the articles in the Index.

Here is a question for you: how do you define "pleasuring me"? Are you referring to the physical pleasure derived from making out, or, the emotional? Generally speaking a person will enjoy much stronger orgasms or more pleasurable orgasms from making out and then foreplay than from intercourse itself. This is particularly true for guys. If you want more emotional pleasure then know that intercourse addresses a person's psyche more so. It is wonderful when the two come together, although, it is not necessary until way later into a couple's relationship. There is nothing wrong with waiting until after saying "I do", and, a lot worth wait several months or years for.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?
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Old 10-04-2009, 07:47 PM
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it would seem to me that if part of you is telling you not to, you should listen. Perhaps it's just not your time yet. You can still have your other fun in the mean time and save the big one until it feels like the most natural thing in the world to do.
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Old 10-04-2009, 08:38 PM
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NO; STOP!

You are neither Goddess nor Whore - you are a WOMAN. All humans are a mix of the good, the bad, and the indifferent in a delightful mix uniquely their own.

And your VALUE does NOT lie between your legs but rather in your mind, your heart, and your soul. Whether you've had sex or not is IMMATERIAL to WHO you are and who you are is more important than some simple formula made up by men for men to assuade their insecurities aka "the goddess or whore syndrome". Sex is not love and love is not sex. Sex is a demonstration of desire while love is the deep and abiding attachment to another person. Stop confusing the two.

Please read The Three Systems of Love - a sticky found somewhere in this forum to explain this sex does not equal love item further.

You have but to consult your emotions at the time: if you want to have sex with him, then do so if you and he are prepared for it; if you do not then do not. You need neither apologise for nor justify your decision. Accept, embrace, and OWN your sexuality.

Last edited by EvilEvilKitten; 10-04-2009 at 08:43 PM..
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