Loosing virginity to fwb..?

[lnt1103]

Honestly springfever, it sounds to me like you're getting attached to this guy, and hoping that if you go all the way it will set the hook, he'll tell you he loves you and you'll go from FWBs to BF/GF overnight.

Highly, HIGHLY, HIGHLY unlikely that it will happen that way.

Be sure you know what you really want before you make this decision.

[2little]

springfever,

i just want to make a note here.

i had my v card stolen from me, someone thought it was right to drug me and take it from me.

do i sit down and worry about it? no because your right the world is not ideal, but if there are just a few things in your life that you can make ideal, why not choose to do it that way?

believe this or not, my husband and i have 2 friends, one is 22 and the other is 24 both males, both still virgins, not because they couldn't get laid, trust me, the one is a body builder and the other is just plan good looking. but they are both just waiting for the right women.

so don't feel that you have to have sex for the "just because you don't want to be a virign."

[EvilEvilKitten]

Why NOT "just because you don't want to be a virgin." ???

Look, if you don't want to be ignorant, you get an education; if you don't want to be hungry, you get a meal; if you don't want to be poor, you get a job and go to work.

NOT wanting to be a virgin is a good enough reason to remedy the situation.

Everyone is special already because there is no one else exactly like them, each and every person, so if you're waiting, and waiting, and waiting for someone 'more special' - you're being deliberately blind.

But then, you're talking to a woman who quite literally threw her virginity away at the earliest opportunity and hasn't looked back once. Regret it?
HELL NO!

The point is that if you get out there with a suitable degree of ferocity and wisdom you can have a great time exploring. Ferocity so you scare off the despoilers of innocence (may 2little's despoiler rot in Hell). Wisdom so when you consult your gut about emotional decisions, you TRUST your gut and go with it. Learning when to say yes and when (and how) to say no is very important.

You don't learn how to do that sitting at home.

[springfever]

Thank you for your comments.

Have got me thinking.

I am not going to do have sex "just because I don't want to be a virgin" thou, I assure u. I think that would be the main reason for not having sex tbh. I kinda like that label in a way, although it is not as if it really means much these days. Just because your a virgin doesn't mean your all naieve and innocent, and haven't done anything. But I'm kinda attached to it...that sounds wierd, but hope it makes sense.

I think for this reason, I should probably hold off. As people have said, if I'm having doubts, obviously not ready.

Originally Posted by dancingdoc2

I figure my fwb will also just get frustrated if we only foreplay (but isn't preasuring me or anything).

I do not understand what you mean. How can the two of you make out in all of its various stages and you not be pleasured "or anything"? You need much more information on the art of making love and therefore, I urge you to continue reading until you have digested all of the articles in the Index.

Here is a question for you: how do you define "pleasuring me"? Are you referring to the physical pleasure derived from making out, or, the emotional? Generally speaking a person will enjoy much stronger orgasms or more pleasurable orgasms from making out and then foreplay than from intercourse itself. This is particularly true for guys.

I meant as in he will want sex, he is not a virgin. I guess I figured it would just be teasing to not see things though, so to speak
I find it intressting what u say about foreplay...I thought this may be true for girls, but not guys...

I guess I just want to carry on things as they r with him, but I forsee that if we do, we it will just happen at some point. And Im not ready to loose the V card :/ ...I guess that just means we should maybe stop things lol

[springfever]

and ty for the links people have sent. Have previously checked some out, but others are new to me

[EvilEvilKitten]

You're attached to the label because you're insecure about the future and about sex. You find the 'status quo' comforting. After all, growing up and all is scary.

If you weren't scared, you would not be having doubts.

How it goes.

[Rouge]

It doesn't mean you should maybe stop things, it means you should. If you've decided not to lose your virginity in this fwb relationship, don't dangle sex on a string to him. Don't start a fire you can't put out.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Tis not playing fair, you see, to only go thus far after you've rev'd his engines.

Either you go for it or you don't.
You do NOT go halfway and then get all coy.

If you do, you're just being selfish.

[VanellaSchnella]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Tis not playing fair, you see, to only go thus far after you've rev'd his engines.

Either you go for it or you don't.
You do NOT go halfway and then get all coy.

If you do, you're just being selfish.

BS... he cannot just expect sex since he got other play. The only time going half way then stopping is bad is when you got him up and pleasure him but then stop before he can cum...now thats bad.

[Rouge]

Either way, the whole point of foreplay is to initiate sex. If there isn't sex, let him go where he can find it, and take yourself out of a position that can become compromising.

There are many rape victims who have dangled sex in front of the wrong guy. (There are more that were raped for no reason at all, I'm not saying rape is justified, but you get what you ask for in some cases).