what is sex really!?

[HeIsMyWorld]

ok.. so.. my boyfriend and i have been going out for about a year.. he knows im not having sex until i marry him! so i mean we have been like foolin around, pretty much sex with clothes.. he has seen me without clothes but im ok with that and he as fingered me.. but like.. im scared about the actual SEX! like is it at ALL glamorous as like movies? i have a feeling.. not! but i THINK im gettin close to being ready. because i KNOW im going to marry him! but idk. i think i should wait!... please just tell me what you know.. what was your first time like!?

[dancingdoc2]

sex was intercourse with maybe a bit of foolin' around yet not so much because women were raised to believe that "sex" from A to Z was "dirty", disgusting, and for the express purpose of having a child.

Back in the really olden days, I can only imagine that farmers cherished the nights they tried to have another kid to eventually help out on the farm.

Up until the sexual revolution of the 1960s, women did not look forward to a night in the hay. Doing so was considered a wifely duty. So, you ask, where was the romance? Often it was plutonic.

Fast forward a few decades and now love is really in the air for both genders to enjoy and confirm thru makeout sessions and intercourse. Please read the articles listed in the Index that address the how-to's of love and romance--and what intercourse is all about. Intercourse is the outward expression of the love a couple professes for each other. Foreplay can often provide more intense orgasms; intercourse addresses the needs of the psyches and not so much the physical pleasures. The two are different yet go together hand-in-hand.

From your description of things, I do not believe you are anywhere near ready for intercourse. If you are a young to mid teen, your body has yet to fully mature, not to mention your mind and intellect. So, while you may be able to bear children, you are far from being ready. You have much more maturing to go thru and this is why the teen years are a decade long. Much happens to us after puberty that contiues the change from chilhood into adulthood. Puberty is just the first of many parts and in some ways is placing the cart before the horse in ways that prepare us to take on the world.

> im scared about the actual SEX! like is it at ALL glamorous as like movies? i have a feeling.. not!

Think again. Sex may not be "glamorous" although it is extremely satisfying to a person's physiology and psyche. My guess is that you have not yet learned to masturbate and achieve orgasms regularly and consistently. Is this true? If so, I strongly recommend you learn. There is a how-to article listed in the Index, and several on the female "O" that go along with it. Please read them whether you have learned or not. Knowledge is empowering.

Once you learn to masturbate your concern will be answered. Some small percentage of women never can climax or orgasm. Can or can't, the other part of your question about how satisfying love making is, will be answered in large measure when you mature a bit more and also find a boy/man with whom there are "sparks" and "chemestry" between you. When your respective pheromones are in the air between you, your emotions and ardor will both become stronger. Give yourself some time for all this to come together for you, if it has not yet done so for you.

Now, please begin reading the articles listed in the Index and then if you have questions, do not hesitate to ask. I hope this is of help.

-doc

[EvilEvilKitten]

In the VERY olden days, girls were married off to guys selected for them as soon as the girls began menstruating for the express purpose of having a child every year. Girls became grandmothers at age 24 and most were dead by age 30. Menopause was entirely unknown (excepting Sparta). Love as we understand it wasn't important.

Then we have the systems of doweries, bride prices and so on; so many goats per girl. MY borther when he was in the first Iraq war was told "I'll trade you 5 camels for this woman here." The woman in question being an Army Corporal at the time. Don't think it doesn't still happen. Some brides in India are slaughtered for not bringing in enough.

Middle Ages and we have marriage for reasons other than love still, only now it is more so. And this continued right up until 1900 or so. Before then, love matches were considered a 'lower' form of marriage. But a child every year was still considered a woman's duty.

Before the 1940's, a wife enjoying the attentions of her husband was considered a slut. Heaven help the girl who was loved and left!

Please be advised that thiss did not pertain to everyone but the above was the social norm for thousands of years. The fact that it no longer is the social norm is due to Feminism. So you owe your mothers and grandmothers a huge debt!

Sex is a messy, wild, exasperating, hilarious, absurd, delightful, pestiferous, WONDERFUL experience!!! I highly recommend it!! But it is not glamorous. Hot, yes; glamorous....not so much, esp for beginners such as yourself.

You fall off the bed, you roll over and punch your lover in the eye (oops!), there's sweat everywhere, the sheets are damp, men tend to snore and hog the bed, - but really, it is a lot of FUN!

To prepare: masturbate to the point of orgasm often! Every chance you get. This is your body, your sexuality - accept it, embrace it, rejoice in it!

Remember our motto: "Doing 'wrong' until I do it right!"

[jasonut]

Marriages would have a more stable long range rate if more women think like you do EEK.

After 13 years, I can see where the frustrations are and it gets to the point that it's almost better if you took sex out of the relationship. Look at the fictional relationship of Jerry and Elaine on Seinfeld. When sex came back into their relationship they fought with each other, take it out they're best friends.

It's almost a relief when she's on her period for the week+. She doesn't feel obligated and I don't have to feel like the hound dog beggin'.

[nuttychick]

Originally Posted by jasonut

Marriages would have a more stable long range rate if more women think like you do EEK.

This is True

Originally Posted by jasonut

After 13 years, I can see where the frustrations are and it gets to the point that it's almost better if you took sex out of the relationship.

I certainly would never agree to this

Originally Posted by jasonut

It's almost a relief when she's on her period for the week+. She doesn't feel obligated and I don't have to feel like the hound dog beggin'.

Wow what a sad statement....
How long has this been going on?
Do you think anything you could do would change this?
Have you tried?
Have you read EEK's posts on the Program and Body Worship?
Have you talked to her on how you feel and how she feels regarding sex?

[Rouge]

Period should be 'him time'.

[jasonut]

Originally Posted by nuttychick

Wow what a sad statement....
How long has this been going on?
Do you think anything you could do would change this?
Have you tried?
Have you read EEK's posts on the Program and Body Worship?
Have you talked to her on how you feel and how she feels regarding sex?

Yeah, she goes through cycles, where she's really into it. Well end up having sex three times in a week, but they usually end up with her getting a UTI.

I noticed how we get along a lot better during her period than when she feels obligated the rest of the month.

[lnt1103]

There's got to be a way to combat the UTI issue.....maybe Brandye can help?

[nuttychick]

Originally Posted by jasonut

Yeah, she goes through cycles, where she's really into it. Well end up having sex three times in a week, but they usually end up with her getting a UTI.

I noticed how we get along a lot better during her period than when she feels obligated the rest of the month.

OK so the problem could very well be she just doesn't want
to deal with the UTI's.....?

I drink alot of Cranberry Juice daily I was told it is a good "Preventitive" of UTI's , and I havent had one in along time...

Maybe she should get to a doctor and see if he/she can help?

How old is she? lol

She has told you she feels obligated?

[EvilEvilKitten]

Cotton undies, running around the house naked, being very very clean, and drinking a lot of fluids. I strongly encourage you two to shower together both before and after sex. Also just hanging out whilst wearing bathrobes works too.