Humping & pain

[dreampicture]

Straight to the point: My boyfriend and I wanted to try the cowgirl position but I'm having problems with 'humping' (if that's the right word). I find it hard to make an up and down movement, well that's what I think. It feels like I don't even move half an inch up/down. (I hope you understand this.)

Problem number two. My boyfriend and I had our first time sex like a year ago, of course I had my first time pains. We don't see each other that often (we both take school seriously and want to pass our exams, that's the reason why). The first few times hurted a bit, we always have used lubricant by the way and I'm on the pill. It actually never was painless to me (with one time as an exception), but most of the time it went away once we were busy. What hurts the most is when he comes inside of me, it's really painful. Later, when we're busy, it's alright and it even feels good. Could that be because the sex turns me on so I get more wet or what? I don't know what to do to get wet more easily. It takes a really long time (or at least it feels like that for me). It's not that my boyfriend pushes me to have sex with him but I really want to have sex because it just feels so great (once the pain is less). It's hard for me to relax fully when he's coming inside me, how can I relax? Will it hurt less if I'm really relaxed?

I'm sorry if my english confuses you, but I'm from Holland.

[Rouge]

By coming inside you, do you mean when he enters you/slides his penis in?

Assuming that's what it is, I'd say more foreplay. If you've been having sex for a decent amount of time now, and it still hurts when you two get together, I'd say get checked out by a doctor.

As far as the cowgirl position goes, it takes practise. As bad as it sounds, I'd suggest watching porn to learn. This is what I've been doing, and until recently it worked.

Would go into more detail, but I'm completely sick..

[dreampicture]

Yes, I mean when he enters me. I also changed my pill recently and now I get more wet then before. My doctor said she gets a lot of complaints from girls and woman about my previous pill, so I'm glad I got a new one which works for me.

And thanks for the suggestions

[maupassant]

Originally Posted by Rouge

Would go into more detail, but I'm completely sick..

I hope you are soon better.Take care.

[EvilEvilKitten]

You're NOT spending enough time doing foreplay. Sorry but anything less than 22 minutes is too little. (they have done research on this topic) Penetration is the final act in the entire sexual cycle esp for beginners. For more information, find,read, and then do The PRogram, a sticky post found elsewhere in this Forum.

Yes, the more relaxed + the more aroused = less to no pain.

Furthermore, you can teach yourself to be faster to arouse, quicker to orgasm, to be multi-orgasmic, and if relaxed enough and he's skillful enough, you can even ejaculate. It all depends upon what is in your head. The more you accept, embrace and enjoy your sexuality, the better sex gets.

Next forget the porn stuff, very few women do much more than an inch up and down when on top - this is NOT The Olympics, ya know - doing this position effectively depends more upon the springs in the bed, sofa, whatever, than on your inherent skill. But the movement can best be described as up and forward then down and back (like posting to the trot in horseback riding) repeatedly.

[dreampicture]

Thanks a lot for the advice!