masturbating but not improving

[simone]

ok, here is my problem.
i am a virgin but i have started masturbation some few months back. my boyfriend occasionally fingers me but still we are waiting for doing sex. well, my problem is that i last only for a minute or even less(may be). i have heard that females usually last longer in sexual intercourse. i don't know weather i have orgasm or not. when i start doing it myself or my boyfriend does it, i just start feeling and then suddenly it disappears in a short time. now, i a worried that when me and boyfriend will actually do it(sex), i won't be able to hold longer which will be quite embarrassing for me.

how can i improve my time duration. is something wrong with me? does regular masturbation will improve my situation? and if yes, how often?

please reply

[CLVR-HNDS_GUY]

i know being a male it builds up slowly and you get a total feeling then you cum.
from past experiences with ex girlfriends, it takes a while for you to get the feeling, once you have that feeling it takes a bit more then that.
maybe your hitting the first feeling and stopping, keep going until you hit that feeling and get a second one then you should be close to a full orgasm
hopefully one of the females on here can explain more being a female

[lnt1103]

We females do take longer to arouse than men do. Our engines just take longer to warm up. There are times men seem to go from Zero to Bolt Upright in 4.5 seconds flat. Women just aren't that way.

Read through the Index and the Stickies under the major topic headings--there is some great information on foreplay, fingering, masturbation, etc.

[EvilEvilKitten]

OH for heaven's sake! SOME women take eons, SOME women take forever, SOME women take a glance from a cute guy, and SOME women don't even wait long enough to ask the guy' name before orgasming! Jeeez! What works for you, works! AND SOME women can just keep orgasming - which is absolutely wonderful, btw - but you will find all of this out as you gain experience, learn to enjoy your sexuality, and take control of your life.

and Int, SOME women do as you have said but not ALL women require time to arouse etc. etc. etc. SOME of us are quite happy with "lust at first sight".

[dancingdoc2]

> i have started masturbation some few months back... well, my problem is that i last only for a minute or even less(may be). i have heard that females usually last longer in sexual intercourse. i don't know weather i have orgasm or not.

This is a confusing comment. If you don't know whether you have an orgasm then what do you mean by saying you only last for a minute or even less?

Do you masturbate? If so, do you regularly and consistently have orgasms?
* If so, then you know what they feel like
* If so, then you know what it takes to bring them about and
can therefore show your boyfriend by taking his fingers and moving
them so that he can learn to mimic your technique

* If you cannot orgasm from masturbation, then you must learn
on your own before you can ever expect to have them with a
partner's fingers at the helm so to speak.

> i a worried that when me and boyfriend will actually do it(sex), i won't be able to hold longer which will be quite embarrassing for me.

There is absolutely no need to worry. When guys worry about performance it is called "Performance Anxiety" (PA) and often prevents them from getting and/or maintaining an erection, or even climaxing.

For you, whether you have a climax or not only you can know for certain. So, there is no reason to be embarrassed. Also, the first few times a couple has intercourse, it will be a learning and period of adjustment in order for the two of you to get into sync. with one another. We should never make love "by the numbers". So, do not think that what you do or need to do is all planned out in a set of rules or directions. Nope, no way.

Just go into this with him in a good positive frame of mind. Understand that things may not go as planned, yet if you do not take all this to seriously that you give up having fun then you are way too serious and perfection oriented. What is important is that the two of you explore and learn together.

> how can i improve my time duration. is something wrong with me? does regular masturbation will improve my situation? and if yes, how often?

Don't worry about this. Orgasms happen when they happen and as a result of how rapidly you climb your arousal curve. (There is an article on this, also.) The great thing about this for many women is that you can often enjoy more than one orgasm in a row! So, just because you climax once does not mean the show is over. This is an important lesson both of you with regard to guys. Just because he climaxes or loses an erection does not mean the show is over.

If you do a lot of reading on all this you will find many references recommending that a guy help his partner to orgasm first, and, last if it is her desire; then, whatever works for the two of you in between.

[simone]

what i meant that i start feeling something after i am aroused and then the feeling stops abruptly very soon. and i cant feel anything again. i haven't tried to continue it longer after that.
i am just worried that something is wrong with me

[EvilEvilKitten]

Not wrong - just inexperienced is all. You're completely normal - standard girl type stuff, don't you know.

Stop worrying and start relaxing.

Because RELAXING is the key to orgasms.