She won't orgasm!!!

[AllAbS]

My gf and I have dating for over a year and both being 17 we see each other a lot. Our sexually relationship has grown and we have become extremely comfortable with one another. When we first started to have sex I wasn't really worried about making her orgasm but we have been having sex a lot more lately and I still can't make her orgasm. My self esteem is getting lower because I feel like I am not pleasing her enough in bed, but I know that I am not at all bad at sex. Is there anything I can do to make her orgasm?

[demonbuttercup]

Check the threads in "New to sex"
there is an article that says for women.. why can't he make me orgasm.
Also, just a few threads below yours in a thread someone started a few days ago asking the same question. This is a popular topic!

[dancingdoc2]

Each person is responsible for his/her own orgasms. We do not give them away. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve them. That said, orgasms are not the biological imperative for women that they are for men. Girls/women often learn to masturbate much later in life than boys and it is with a concerted conscious effort to connect the dots, so to speak.

It may be that your girlfriend has never taken this step into womanhood by learning to masturbate. If she hasn't then there is nothing you can do for her except to encourage her to learn on her own. There are several articles listed in the Index that discuss this and other aspects of the female "O".

If she regularly and consistently can achieve orgasms on her own yet cannot by your caresses then the likely reason is poor technique and/or methodology. For example, you know yourself what type of rubbing, stroking, and pressures bring about your own orgasms and if you vary the method too much either an orgasm will not happen or it will be less than expected. The same goes for members of the fairer gender. When a person masturbates s/he also benefits from a built in feedback system that lets us make tiny midcourse corrections along the way. This is missing when we turn the reins over to our partner. So, to compensate, we must provide verbal and/or non-verbal feedback for how we are responding to their caresses and for what we need now/next.

If she can orgasm, then ask her to take your fingers in her hand and to move them properly. Do this over several sessions until you learn to mimic her unique and specific movements. Doing this along with her feedback should fix the situation. BTW, the same holds true in reverse for you with her.

As for intercourse, it is important to understand that very few sexual positions place her pieces-parts in close constant contact with your pubic mound sufficient to generate the require friction. So, what a knowledgeable, caring, lover will do is to reach around and finger his partner while stroking away.

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the questions and concerns most people write in about. If you go to the site's Home page, you will find additional information. I recommend that the two of you read these articles, together or separately and then discuss what you have learned. Knowledge is empowering!

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[Brandye]

Not your problem. If she is interested, she needs to give us some facts and ask her question. Why is your ego so wrapped up in someone else'sexual response?

[EvilEvilKitten]

His self-esteem is affected because HE orgasms and he feels selfish when SHE doesn't. Yes, he only assists her to achieve orgasm, but decent men want to do a good job. He feels that he has failed her.That's why he feels bad.