Soft; Really fast, and Really easy.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Sess,

And the thrusting is mostly for his orgasm - yours mostly come from small movements - not that thrusting cannot help push a lady into climax if she's being stubborn.

This is why we say that pornography is NOT real. Those small movements don't make good cinema.

That both of you have the idea that once his erection's gone it is gone - well, it is just WRONG. My favorite experiment is to see how many full erection/ejaculations I can get out of a man in 45 minutes flat. Thus far 3 men all in their 50's are tied at 4 each. Now if a 50 yr old can 'give it up' 4 times in 45 minutes - dude, what's wrong with you? Mind you, my males were under extreme duress but still.

But usually sex for 45 minutes, rest for 15 minutes; repeat for a total of 4, makes a good evening's entertainment.

[funinthesun]

Condoms that are too tight can cause this issue, however I don't think it's the main problem due to all of the other things you listed.

Trojan Magnum isn't the largest girth condom, Magnum XL is. There is also Magnum Thin, which due to the thinner latex, is actually less constricting than the Magnum XL for those with increased girth. The custom fit condoms are latex and called "TheyFit". TheyFit are only available for a short time, so stock up if you get some and they work well!!!

[dancingdoc2]

> Oh and about the starting back up, well I've tried that but once he's soft we both have it set in our minds its over out of routine. However it can be changed.

If and when his erection subsides, give it a few minutes, continue hugging, kissing, and caressing, and then work on getting it to return. Erections come and erections go, he should know this.

A lovemaking session can be extended and extended some more just by continuing to make out. The same thing is true after he has an orgasm. Lovemaking is not over. If you want to extend the session, continue to make out. After his refractory period has elapsed (anywhere from about ten minutes to thirty depending upon age and sex drive) he can enjoy another orgasm. The trick as you will learn by continuing to read the articles listed in the Index is in staggering your multiple orgasms (should you desire more) in between any two of his.

Etiquette suggests letting you enjoy the first and last climax. In between he can have his and the two of you can extend this out enjoying additional orgasms as it suits the two of you for as long as it suits the two of you. His maximum number is probably three or maybe four, again, depending upon age, drive, and how many orgasms he has had over the past twenty four hours. You on the other hand can probably enjoy many more and have multiples in between his. What fun!

> Omg...I never really knew that the thrusting was really only supposed to last about 5 to 10 minutes! Thats such a shocker!

Actual thrusting (fast and strong stroking) will probably last only a short time. Before he begins thrusting for the finale or doing so in between periods of stroking, it is from all that rubbing that causes the vaginal entrance to become tender and sore--thus the arbitrary ~ten minute limit. Keep in mind that if the two of you want to prolong intercourse, then why not do so incrimentally, enjoying several short sessions instead of one very long session. This is also a way to keep an erection from sagging just due to wearing a guy out. (Two sayings come to mind; first, "give it a break;" second, "give it a rest".) Fill up the time by going back and continuing to make out. There are articles on all this, also.

S E X is not just about Foreplay or Intercourse. Sex should begin by making out and continuing to make out until the two of you cannot stand it any longer and have to have either Foreplay or Intercourse to end it. Once you have enjoyed your orgasms, except for time and opportunity, you can continue if you want to extend the enjoyment. Learn how to make out. There are articles explaining what seems to have become lost in recent years. Read up and practice the A, B, C's of Necking, Petting, Heavy Petting, and eventually, Foreplay, all before getting to a climax by whatever means. Guys and gals are not spending nearly enough time on these important and necessary aspects of sex--nor understanding the need to.

Once a couple underdstands all this and can put it successfully into practice, then we can talk about the real deal--how to make love!

[Sesshomarulover261]

To EvilEvil

Well I'm new to the world of sex and so is my boyfriend so to learn takes making mistakes and asking questions. The good part about all that is now we can correct are mistakes such as rushing through everything and take our time.

Wow...I always thought that women and men get orgasms from the big movements but now I know better and can ask for different things Does anyone have any suggestions for positions that allow women to orgasm easiest?

I will also try different methods of getting him hard instead of just trying to prolong it.

To Fun
Lol! You guys it is the biggest size! Magnum XL, whatever! lol it came in the gold packages and I know it was. I wish it was so easy for us to get custom fit but no credit cards of any kind! I am also in a position where I cannot get one.

I will look into them though...if worse comes to worse I'll ask my mom...I would be mortified but...its for the best. :/

To DancingDoc

I did try that today! Well not the getting him hard again because we didn't have any time left but the making out and kissing and taking our time but omg he is so stubborn! He wants to rush through everything. I did try to stop him today but he won.

The idea of me having multiple orgasms at this point is way "out there." I know it can happen but it will take some experimenting on my part. That sounds great though!

Now for making out...its kind of odd. He's never been to big of a fan of making out and what not. I've been reminding him about slowing down though. Not pestering! (evilevil!) just little hints like ,"Slow, or not yet." If you have anymore suggestions for ways to slow things down tell me please

Thank you all so much and sorry for the long reply!
Sesshylove

[dancingdoc2]

> I did try that today! Well not the getting him hard again because we didn't have any time left but the making out and kissing and taking our time but omg he is so stubborn! He wants to rush through everything. I did try to stop him today but he won.

Is your fella interested in your enjoyment or in getting his jollies?

Does he understand that women require a lot of making out before they are ready for an orgasm?

I recommend that you either sit him down and read the articles on womens orgasms and also the fine art of how to make out among other articles. Play to his pride.

Now, if he resists learning more about how to possibly become a world class lover, then you read the articles and ask him "did you know this" and keep asking as each time you tell him what each "this" is. I do not know of any guy who won't accept more how-to information if he can see how it will benefit his girl and ultimately him, and thus the two of them. By employing the "did you know this" approach you do run the risk of him saying he does not need to know any more in which case you might as well call it quits and look for someone more open minded. You can not change him. It's like leading the proverbial horse to water--you can't make him drink, do not for a minute think you can change someone who does not recognize that some changes need to be made and why.

> The idea of me having multiple orgasms at this point is way "out there." I know it can happen but it will take some experimenting on my part. That sounds great though!

What it takes is "communication". You know what makes you feel good in the moment and what it requires to bring about the next climax. You must convey this to him and give him feedback on how you are responding and for what you need now/next. Guide his movements.

> Now for making out...its kind of odd. He's never been to big of a fan of making out and what not. I've been reminding him about slowing down though. Not pestering! (evilevil!) just little hints like ,"Slow, or not yet." If you have anymore suggestions for ways to slow things down tell me please

Request that he do his reading assignments period. His first assignment is to learn why women require more time and effort than he does, why you cannot climax without adequate preparation unlike him; why devoting half an hour minimum to Necking and Petting are critically important; why working together for the common good is important.

Does he understand that making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other?

[Sesshomarulover261]

Well at the moment I think he's more focused on him but to defend him a little so am I, he's also an 18 year old in his defense...and because were both young with think about ourselves more than other people. To be honest I created this whole thread for me. I think that in time things will change.

Sitting him down would be difficult. I know he cares but he is not that type of communicator Doc I wish he was but that is not him. He is not just like this with sex but with all of our problems. He prefers me to tell him the problem and after that he will fix it. At first I loved it...but now I wish he would communicate more with me, especially about sex because I am one of those people who really enjoy the idea of it and discussing it with lovers. So because of his personality instead of making him sit there and read articles I just talked to him about new things I learned. He even talked back :O

He knows it takes women longer than men to reach orgasm but in all reality he is a lazy 18 year old. Now don't get me wrong he is a good boyfriend, trust me, he devotes so much time to me and he is very affectionate. I have no fear in him not caring about me whatsoever so there is no need to end a one year relationship because of a small problem. Besides, I love him, he loves me. Were normal, we have a problem and problems can be fixed

I am going to tell him what feels good and doesn't and I actually do guide his hands already but I don't think he's really getting it...I'll begin to verbalize it more and tell him what I like and what doesn't do anything. See I've been trying to ask him what he likes, in fact yesterday I asked him several times, what felt the best? Did you like it when I did this? What about this? He just says everything feels good. :/ he's to easy going for his own good.

Yes! I am going to tell him I need more time! I need more of the getting ready and playing around. See today we had a time shortage so I think he rushed on purpose...oh well we'll see what happens !

LOL...dang...I wonder if having sex almost everyday sets us back a little bit too :P

Thank you for your amazing advice once again
Sesshylove

[EvilEvilKitten]

Sess, stop being a fluffy bunny and being so nice to him in that "poor little boy can't help himself" fashion while secretly stroking your own ego because you do this to him. Oh yes, twas obvious. Stop it. And you can also stop taking secret delight in his being so stubborn since that makes sex "not your fault". Give yourself permission to enjoy your birthright and get on with it.


But if you want to really enjoy sex, YOU are going to have to OWN your part in this and slam the brakes on. Tell him point blank (guys do not do nuance) "If you want me to enjoy this SLOW DOWN." and if that doesn't work.."Go home. Bye." and walk away.

He won't take you seriously until you take you seriously.

[Sesshomarulover261]

Wow...well that was a bit harsh. I think your judging me a bit too much. I understand that you mean it to help though...

I had no idea I was even doing any of that...Honestly I was trying to look at it from his shoes and was taking other advice I had read on these forums. You said to back off and leave it alone so I did, and I went a step forward by trying to understand why. I would like to make my position clear that I do think he can control himself it just takes work.

I don't know how many times I said its my fault too and I'm working on being firmer with him. I know its partly my fault and I know its partly his fault. I thought that I made that clear too but obviously not.

Sesshlove

[EvilEvilKitten]

Often we are not entirely aware of why we do what we do. I was just pointing out a trap just in front of you that you were in danger of stepping into. Can't have you breaking a leg now can we?

I'm trying to indicate that while you cannot control him, you can expect, and demand, that he control himself - but only if you are willing to control yourself.

This is why sex and inter-gender relationships are so fascinating - there's is a subtle interplay going on between people - like watching a dance in slow motion where you can see every flip of a hip. ALthough the 'two steps forward and one step back' can be frustrating at times, it does eventually get the job done.

[Sesshomarulover261]

Ohh well thank you for calling me out on it.

I was firm with him today...we got into a little fight but it worked. Not exactly on this subject but I'm getting there and so is he. We made progress with The Program. Not exactly what I expected but it was enjoyable. Still rushing but slowing down little by little

Trust me I am trying hard to slow down! He is too I think we both did good.

I wish their was an easy button for this...

Sesshylove