Scared About Sex

[crazy_about_him]

Um......hi. I'm kinda new here.

Well, i masturbate a lot but when i use my finger in my vagina and i get it fully in i can sorta feel what feels like a little tube thingy, probably protuding about a centimetre from the rest of me, and i don't know what it is! i was just wondering if any other women/girls feel anything similair.

And also, once i've got my index finger fully in i can feel the back of me and my finger is only about 3 1/2 inches long! This really scares me because if i ever have sex won't it hurt loads?

Please help!

[Brandye]

All of us are a bit scared of the first time and we each spend some time trying to determine if we are physically capable.

Your three and a half inch finger is misleading. Our vaginas are really quite small until we become aroused. During sexual arousal, the vagina both elongates and broadens - a bit like a balloon. More than 95% of all vaginas comfortable accommodate 95% of all available penis. The little tube thing you feel is your cervix. Again, when not aroused, it is not very deep.

Find a good diagram of the internal and external female reproductive system, a mirror and a good light. Sit on the edge of a bed or whatever and get yourself figured out. Given that your activity has removed all traces of your hymen, you should have no difficulty.

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles on the most common concerns people have. If you click on the site's Home page, you will find even more information. Please spend some time reading. Knowledge is empowering!

You can use use one of popular search engines like Google, Ask, Bing, etc., and get lots of drawings and illustrations of the male and female anatomy.

It is great that you asked your question. Keep asking and keep learning.

Are you really scard of sex, or just anxious or apprehensive because of all the unknowns? Actually being afraid is much different than just being uneasy due to having a lack of information. Either way, this is where this site can be of help to you and others and is the reason why it exists.

When the time comes for you to have intercourse, it may or may not hurt the first few times. That your hymen seems to not be a factor, the major source of a woman's initial discomfort is eliminated. If your vaginal opening seems tight/small, there is an exercise you can do to help relax it. What can cause some discomfort is not so much how your pieces-parts are configured, it is with how knowledgeable, skillful, and, gentle, your partner is. It is not unusual for a guy to want to poke, jab, shove, and just generally be rough in his enthusiasm and haste. WRONG. Also, consider using the Woman Superior position the first few times. You will find more information about this if you do a site search or read the article on this.

I agree with Brandye, you should be OK as long as you have a caring partner. Explore and learn together when the time comes. Before the time comes, read all the articles in the Index, and/or go to the library and check out the book: "The Joy of Sex".

[crazy_about_him]

omg thank you both so much!!!!!!!!!!!! thats really useful info, i don't know what i would have done without you guys!!!!! and don't worry, my current boyfriend is a virgin too and he said he'll be very gentle the first few times and i trust him so <333333

[dancingdoc2]

You're welcome!

How's your boyfriend's pride? Is he open to expanding his knowledge base? Please encourage him to read the articles in the Index, also. Whether you read them together or individually, discuss what you have learned. Above all, do not worry about being perfect the first time. Nobody ever is. First time intercourse is not unlike learning to ride a bike. Remember how wobbly you were, and, the skinned knees? While this is serious business, don't take it so seriously that there is no fun!

[crazy_about_him]

Don't worry i plan to show him this website and the index and tell him to study up XP
and yes we will discuss it in depth, i'm sure
and also don't worry, i'm aware that it won't be perfect or magically wonderful or anything like that
the only thing is though that he has been holding onto his virginity for quite a long time, and whenever we talk about it he gets reay nervous and i was just wondering if you could tell me what to say to him when he gets like this. i've assured him again and again that i'm not expecting anything near to amazing, but he still gets nervous, what should i say?

[dancingdoc2]

I'm not certain if your previous response was about confidence or if it is about him not ready to take the plunge, yet.

If the former, it is important for him to acquire knowledge. With this knowledge come an initial level of self confidence. Practical experience and becoming a great lover comes from working together in partnership, exploring and learning together. Have him read the article on experience and one partner being more so than the other. The title doesn't pertain to your situation; however, the background information does.

All too often and as recent a couple of days ago, we have fellas who expect that making love is by the numbers. This just is not so. They want a script of what to do when and next and have contingency plans. Making love is fluid and is always in a state of flux or change. You can tell him this. What worked in one relationship may not work the same way in another. People are different, and as a woman your responses are changing daily--not so his and this he may not yet understand. This goes back to what I said above: explore and learn together in partnership. Give each other feedback on how each of you is responding to the others caresses and for what you need now/next.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[crazy_about_him]

thanks!!!! thats really good advice!!!

and it's just a confidence thing, i'm sure.

thank you thank you thank you again

and nope, no questions