Please help

[Brandye]

One day passed between the first post and ""she's not worth it." Think a little fantasy was involved here?

[EvilEvilKitten]

Brandye - tis obvious. He proposed and she declined. To assuade his ego - she's "not worth it". Thereby damning himself.

[happie_blazed]

you know what all you guys dont understand when some one cheats on you cuz you aint givein em sex like thay want cuz doc told me not to do it. thats y shes not worth a minuet of my life sorry i wish she would of just broke up wit me insted of doing that it hurts more when some one cheats on you than ne thing in life at least me so you know you guys can sit hear and bag on me cuz i finaly took some ones advise and thats my issue i dont listen to ne one so what ever if ur not gunna give me advise dont post on my thred im tired of you guys

[Rouge]

Ahem.

Were you two in a "relationship"? if not, her being with someone else isn't cheating.

Her 'cheating' is the reason why you shouldn't be with her, regardless of her reason. Unfaithfulness is NOT excuseable. If anything, you shoul be thanking doc, do you really want to sleep with someone like that? She would have found a 'reason' to cheat anyways, regardless of having sex or not.

My advice: Wait until you and the chicks around you have matured, then look around for a relationship and whatnot. There's NO reason at all to need someone at your age.

[happie_blazed]

Yeah we were dating for like a week or less and my best friend told me and i asked her and she said yes and i told her i dident want to b wit her and thats y shes not worth my time but i knew her for like 3 years or so but yeah thats y i moved on and i found a new gf and yeah thks Doc wow im glaqd some one told me bout her cheating on me i would never cheat on a female so yes its hurts worse than gettin broke up wit specialy when ur in my position and when i fuod out who she was cheating on me wit i wanted to hurt him bud but i dident cuz that girl aint worth me going to jail agin and yes im only 15

[Brandye]

Learn to write decent English; the sex stuff can wait. "Wit", I believe, refers to humour.

[happie_blazed]

you know what im hear for advise not no smart alic responce

[dancingdoc2]

> i wanted to hurt him bud but i dident

Why go off on the new guy? What did he do? The girl apparently approached the new guy.

> i wish she would of just broke up wit me insted of doing that it hurts more when some one cheats on you than ne thing in life

Yes, I know it is painful, and this is why I tell people why it is better to date and have open relationships with others instead of always being in needy, possessive, relationships. By dating openly, meaning being able to date more than one person at a time, you eliminate all the angst, drama, and, trauma that comes with exclusivity. Certainly breaking up hurts, although, not to the extent it does when in a closed relationship with someone.

> what all you guys dont understand when some one cheats on you

I understand what you mean; however, "cheating" is the wrong word; being "unfaithful" is more to the point. There must be a legal contract for someone to cheat--like having a marriage license.

My recommendation for dating in the future is to go out and have fun and have a sense of being connected to other girls, although, without having the "ownership" and "possessiveness" and "entitlement" that happens when having an exclusive relationship. Dating openly means being able to have all the perks without all the entanglements, drama, and trauma.

The purpose of dating besides having someone to have fun with, is in getting to know others in order to help decide when Mr./Ms. Right enters the picture. This is accomplished by socializing and interacting with others, not to the exclusion of all others. In the future, date or at least be available to go out with more than one person at a time. This certainly does not mean that you will, only that you can. As long as you and a girl are enjoying each others company and want to continue the relationship, "exclusivity" is implied by mutual consent. If one or the other of you wishes to date others at the same time, so be it. My point being, you do not need to be needed or to incur a possessiveness with someone. What we need is to have mutual admiration for those we date, and, in the process of going out with one or more others, we form attachments that give us the emotional support we seek.

The dating process has it beginnings and its endings and with many people in succession. Dates can last through dinner, more than one, a few months, and eventually one or two will be long term. Enjoy them while they each last, learn from each, catalog what you like in each person that you would like to find in Ms. Right, and when it is time to move on, you can move on without all the heartache and emotional turmoil.

As an aside, please do not be so defensive. We are not attacking you. We are giving advice {not "advise") and suggesting that you use the spell checking feature of this software. How you write is also how you present yourself to others. Take pride in how you spell, punctuate, and, use proper sentence structure. People you meet often get a favorable first impression from the way you dress, yet be turned off when you open your mouth.

We should all do what we can to put our best foot forward. It will not be too much longer before you begin looking for a job and perhaps submitting resumes. Employers are known to investigate a prospective employees on YouTube, and other social networks in an attempt to learn what they can about personality, behavior, and character. In a recent post, I just learned that teachers and college instructors are now being asked about former students. Prospective girlfriends look at more than a person's style of dress.... Hint hint.

[happie_blazed]

ok thanks im only 15 does it look like i could possably b done with school! and maby im not good at spelling and maby im just to retarded to spell! ok but yeah thks for the advice. im done worring bout sex! becuz i lost my v card to one of my exes last night! so really i dont need no more advice but maby some other time and i want to say thanks to doc for giving me good advice and not being an ass hole about it

[EvilEvilKitten]

A WEEK?!?!?

You 'dated' her for a WEEK, ONLY A WEEK, and yet you expected her to be "faithful" AFTER ONLY A WEEK?!?!?!

Dude - you DO NOT get that until at least 2 YEARS into a relationship!

When you start saying stuff like what you have been saying - you appear WEAK. You're, in effect, saying "I CANNOT COMPETE AGAINST OTHER MEN." and "I MUST HAVE HER ALL TO MYSELF."

She does NOT have a problem - YOU do.

Until you have MARRIED a woman, you have NO rights over how she spends her time, and with whom, when she is not with you. Cheating, unfaithfulnes etc. does NOT exist without MARRIAGE.

Just like respect - faithfulness, loyalty, call it what you will - it all has to be EARNED over a decent period of time spent within a relationship. You cannot demand it right at the outset.

She is well rid of you. Because, buddy, You are the only asshole here.
If he does sex as well as he does language there are going to be a lot of deeply disappointed women in this world.