FOREPLAY: The Prequel and Sequel

[dancingdoc2]

The purpose of this article is simple--to define terms and get back to basics. All too often nowadays, people refer to what happens and what we do with each other before enjoying our climaxes as "Foreplay". In and of itself this word is too restrictive. When couples make out, we kiss, touch, caress, fondle, all with clothes on, later with clothes off to one degree or another.

When there is a problem with what we do and how we do it, the information we receive from posters states this or that is happening with "Foreplay". This may or may not be a correct assessment. In order to better understand the problem, when it is happening, and, how to resolve the matter, it is important to know where along the path from start to climax, the problem is. "Foreplay" is too broad a term.

I try to take my time and do some foreplay i perform oral, finger her, and she loves it. but she will only let me do it for like 10 minutes then want to start having sex.

Let's define some terms.
* Fooling around and Making out-- umbrella terms for all that follows:
* Necking-- kissing and caressing above the shoulders
* Petting-- Kissing and caressing all over except for the breasts and genital areas
* Heavy Petting-- All of the above to include undoing and removing clothing
* Foreplay-- All of the above including focusing on the breasts and genitals

Making out is progressive in its progress. We begin with A, move on to B, add C, revisit A & B, add D, and so on and on. There is continuity from one part to the next.

If like a lot of people nowadays, lumping everything into the category of "Foreplay" then your ten minutes does not generally provide enough stimulus to arouse a woman to a sufficiently high level.

If you are mostly doing Foreplay to the exclusion of all the necking and petting, then you definitely need to learn how to make love in all of its various aspects. I recommend reading the articles on all this listed in the Index.

Making love can and does sometimes proceed quickly without much fanfare and this is why the term "Quicky". Couples often do extend their love making for hours; and then, there is every time span in between depending upon what you want and have the time for each occasion. I'll let you decide whether or not you are on the right track or if she is stopping herself short.

The thing that sucks is, i always make sure she climaxes first every single time.

OH! this should not suck. You are absolutely correct to help her climax first and last. In between the two of you can enjoy as many orgasms as you want or have time for. This is good etiquette. Decades ago "simultaneous orgasms" were all the rage; no more. We now understand that very few sexual positions place a woman's pieces-parts in constant ongoing contact with the man's pubic mound sufficient to build to a climax. What a knowledgeable, skilled, caring, lover will do is to reach around and finger his partner. You are doing everything right if you are doing these things for her.

And after she climaxes she just wants me to finish, no matter how long it actually took. Sometime it take 5 minutes, sometimes its 30 minutes, but we have never had sex over 45 minutes(including foreplay).

I believe some realignment is suggested. Five minutes to your climax is good. Many women report that if intercourse lasts longer than about ten that they become sore, bored, and, tired! If it takes thirty minutes of stroking to reach an orgasm, then I strongly recommend that you pull out after about five and go back to basics in order to rebuild your level of arousal. Intercourse should begin (again) when you have reached your peak yet still have enough control to move around and get into position.

Many women many times can enjoy multiple orgasms after a brief recovery period. You can certainly try to help her enjoy more in between any two of yours, or, to coincide with one of yours.

Chapter Three:
INTERCOURSE / ORGASMS / and the gentle art of Making Out, FIRST
Frequently, and depending upon the nature of a poster's question, Doc recommends the person read Chapter Three, first, and Chapter One, second.

The Program

Body Worship How-To by EEK
Your guide to wild rampant skin-on-skin full-body-contact sex.

I encourage each of you to use proper terms. Making love is not just Foreplay/orgasm or Foreplay/Intercourse. If you are not to this point yet, you are probably not doing Foreplay which is defined as breast and genital play and stimulation. Your activities are more likely Necking and Petting. When you have a problem and ask for help, please use whatever make out term is appropriate. Doing so will assist responders in zeroing in on what the problem might be. It provides a time line along a person's response curve, also.

Chapter Four:
MORE: From bungling student to graduating Lover Cum Laude

Using the correct term(s) is also better in general conversation.

[lil beautiful one]

foreplay is a very big part for a girl, a girl can feel honry quickly and go straight into sex, depends on her sex drive, but foreplay makes the girl more in the mood, more horny, and wanting you more then ever. so then at least you know your lady is feeling pleased all round and not just you.

[dancingdoc2]

> foreplay is a very big part for a girl,

Do you mean oral, fingering, and, anal stimulation?**

> a girl can feel honry quickly and go straight into sex, depends on her sex drive,

Do you mean "horny" as in desiring sex, or, "horny" as in being highly aroused?

> but foreplay makes the girl more in the mood, more horny, and wanting you more then ever. so then at least you know your lady is feeling pleased all round and not just you.

**It can, although not always. How often do we read about members of the fairer gender not interested in these forms of sex play?

Unless I have misinterpreted your comments, they are a good illustration of why I wrote the article, above; that being to clearly define terms.

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful articles. The site's Home page has additional information.

[WhateverHappens]

foreplay is definately good for a girl because you can get very highly aroused very quickly. I don't have much of a sex drive but foreplay gets me "in the mood" very quickly. though to be fair i think it depends on the boyfriend (like how much you trust them with your body) and how nervous you are.

[dancingdoc2]

Is that all? What about having an emotional connection?