caught sister

[duh477]

I caught my15 year old sis trying to have sex in our basement with a boy her age. Should I tell my parents?

[LickMyGamete]

You're going to get people saying "no, stay out of it, it's her business not yours," but I think the possibility of her getting pregnant and bringing another baby in this world the parents can't support is more of a concern than you invading whatever God given right to privacy a 15 year old gets.

Wow that's a long sentence.

Unless you know she's on birth control, or the parents at least know she's very serious with this bf. I would suspect "your daughter is having sex" sounds a lot better to a parent than "your daughter is pregnant."

[demonbuttercup]

Are you older or younger?
Maybe just approach your sis and discuss things like BC/condoms and being safe.

[dancingdoc2]

Here are three articles found in the Index that your sister and her boyfriend should read and understand:

I'm Ready for SEX! (or am I?) I really want to do it.


What Can I/We Do To Prepare For First Time Intercourse?


Making Out--Knowing How Far To Go

To inform or not to inform your parents about this is a difficult situation. Here are some things to consider:
a) that you know she is using the pill or some other highly reliable
form of birth control
b) that you know for certain the b/f is using a condom
c) what are the house rules or expectations

If you are older, I would suggest asking her about how responsible she is with her own protection and in requiring the b/f to be equally responsible. Both of them need to look out for "Number One" (themselves) and then use a third form of protection as back up to the other two--a spermicide. Teenagers are more likely to become pregnant than any other age group and it behooves the couple to make use of all three. If not the pill or patch, then at least the other two.

Ask both to read these articles more than once and to discuss between them what they've learned.

As for informing your parents, only you can be the judge of this and whether or not it is the thing to do.

[Brandye]

.... and have your sister read Am I Ready for Sex? in sexual health: women

My three year older sister was a great resource when I started about that age. Through her, our aunt, who had helped her when she got started was the primary source of my education and safety. My sister and I even shared protection supplies until she left for university.

[EvilEvilKitten]

That depends upon your parents. Think about it. What have they told you about sex? How do they handle exposure to risque or sexy scenes in the media? What seems to be their opinion on sex education in school and so on? How do they react to the current run of teenage girls' fashions?

It is difficult for most people to STFU when they witness anything - even adults. So it is best that YOU learn NOW - to seriously consider consequences. Do NOT try to justify speaking because "it is for her own good". Because it may not be. The outcome could be horrendous. Also remember that your sister will never forgive nor forget that you ratted her out and will always question your motives for doing anything forevermore.

TALK TO YOUR SISTER. Ask your sister if BCPs and condoms were used. If so, then fine, say nothing to no one. If NOT, then you had better send her here to us - so she can learn better.

Do not be thinking your sister is running into trouble. She's doing pretty much what other 15 yr olds do. She's exploring. As long as she doing it safely and with due concern for the pregnancy and health issues involved - she's fine.

[arutha]

Originally Posted by Brandye

My three year older sister was a great resource when I started about that age. Through her, our aunt, who had helped her when she got started was the primary source of my education and safety. My sister and I even shared protection supplies until she left for university.

Erm..... Your three year old sister?!?

[lnt1103]

Not 'old', arutha, OLDER. As in, the sister that's three years her senior.

[Guitar Guy]

I've unfortunately heard my sister moaning a few times when my parents have been out, when guys have been with her. She's on bc that I know cuz we share a bathroom. As one of the posts says if she's old enough then that's her choice. But what I'd wish when she thinks about that is too do it when I'm not around like I do! That way I wouldn't feel strange. Plus I've seen a vibrator in the shower that I used once! My sister has no idea about being secretive! I could spill beans to my parents like no tomorrow. But she's "old" enough to make her own decisions. I just wish she'd think about thinking when and where she does/leaves her own things....

That's what I'd like to pass on to anyone who's in a sexual relationship and doesn't want to get caught. BE CAUTIOUS AND THINK ABOUT WHEN'S A GOOD TIME TO HAVE SEX AT HOME....WHEN NO ONE'S AROUND. Also don't leave personal items around where your siblings/parents can find them (and then be mortified like I was). I had an instance happen to me a while back. My gf and I had had sex when I was alone in the house. I disposed of the condom in our garbage and thought I was in the clear....WRONG! Some animals dug through our garbage that night and the bag got ripped. My dad went to work that morning and as looked out the window I saw the condom wrapper on the driveway as well as the condom! I quickly ran out and grabbed them both and shoved them in the new garbage bag and my parents never knew anything. I was so relieved!

[EvilEvilKitten]

So she should consider your feelings and rather than being open and honest, she should be secretive? I know, you'd prefer I use the word discreet and you do have a point - but only just.

Your feelings are your responsibility. You can choose to control them or you can choose to let them control you. It is not her job to keep you from 'feeling strange'.

However, from the stand point of having good manners, she really should be tidier with her things and more careful about her liasons.